Dh hired a new lawyer a month ago. We were going to start the court game, filing for more custody. Lawyer has the papers drawn up and everything, DH just needs to sign them. then a few days ago DH was laid off. He still wants to continue with the custody battle.

Is it horrible that I don't want him to?
I guess I'm just frustrated. Yes, my DH has been deployed twice in SD's life, but she is now 9. This should have been taken care of YEARS ago. I have been trying for the past YEAR to get SD a counselor. Dr. Evil has STRICT final say about all medical in the CO, and DH cannot keep any medical info from her. DH has been a pussy and has not communicated, or refused to communicate with her about it.
So now we are going to start a huge custody battle, where we are essentially accusing Dr. Evil of emotional abuse, and have limited funds to do so?

We. Will. Not. Win.

Until DH finds a new job, I think he needs to focus on getting SD a counselor. What if this case bankrupts us? Hex can drag this out as long as possible. She will. She has informed SD that DH spends all his money in court trying to gain control of her, so that's why SD doesn't have as nice things at our house. DH disagrees with me, and says if he doesn't fight now, when will he? When she's 11 and fully brainwashed? I see his point. I do.

I want more kids. We just have a 5 month old DD. I always saw myself as having two more. But can we afford more when we waste all this damn money on lawyers and CS for ONE child? I honestly view SD as a "lost cause" custody wise, so to speak. That sounds worse than I mean it to be, but it's true. She's almost 9, so in 9 years she can make the decision to fully pursue a relationship without being under the guise of her mother. Dr. Evil has told her when she turns 12 she can go to the judge and choose never to come back here. So if we win more custody, hex can turn right around and take us back to court in two years time? Accruing MORE lawyer fees? I know this sounds completely shallow but damn....when is enough money spent on this was enough? Both DH and Dr. Evil have spent at LEAST 80,000$ combined on the divorce/custody. That's SD freaking college fund right there. My daughter has one, but only money I have put in.

I wish I had never married a man with kids. My father had told me that the more money Dh spends in court, the less there is for my LO. When he first made that comment, I was resentful of it. My SD is worth fighting for. I was annoyed with him. My father had ALWAYS made me a priority. He would have fought for me. Now I look at that and realize he's right.

And it makes me upset. That the system is so messed up, you essentially have to play the game off stalling to drain funds, that someone who has no idea who you or your child are gets to determine the outcome of your child's life. I hate family court. I hate how useless and circular it is. If we go back now and get more custody we will wind up battling this until the day SD turns 18.

SD is the victim. Now myself and my child are too. The only people who will win in this are the lawyers.