Somewhat OT...feeling blue
For those of you who, like me, are childless with skids.....
How do you cope? I don't mean those who don't want kids. I always say i have never felt more childless than when I came into their lives. It isn't that SD6 is terrible. I know I am lucky. She is a good girl for the most part. But I just desperately need a child of my own. Someone who I am mommy for.
My SO and I have discussed it and I know financially we are in transition and we can't start trying. I'm just scared that if we wait too long, it will never happen. I don't know how to cope with being a caregiver to his daughter but not have the opportunity to have the benefits of being a real mom and that unconditional love that comes along with it.
- hollyissad's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
People have children at all
People have children at all kinds of periods of transition. You can make it work. My great great Grandmother was an unwed 19 year old girl with a 2 year old son who came to the United States with $30 and a dream. Think she wasn't scared? I bet she was. But she did it.
You should too, if it is really what you want. As long as you won't require government assistance, I say go for it. The money will happen. People with less than you do it every day. You will be fine.
wow furkids! your grandmother
wow furkids! your grandmother is *awesome*!!! big respect for that courage!
btw OP, i may sound a bit unruly saying this, but.. if everyone waited until they had enough money in the bank to have kids, we'd be in a lot of trouble as a human race. I agree with Furkids, if you are blessed with a new addition to your family, you will work the finances out somehow x
I think I read this on STalk once "if it's important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse" xxx
I don't count because I do
I don't count because I do now have children, but for years I felt exactly like you did. I can tell you how I personally coped at that time.
We battled infertility, and couldn't afford treatments. I was willing to do whatever necessary to come up with the money, but DH refused to finance "what should happen naturally". I was so angry that he had a daughter with a woman he didn't love, but wouldn't go out of his way to have one with me. With every passing year, I became more angry and resentful. It was worst when I would see how SD (then a teenager) was behaving and DH wasn't willing to parent her. He would yell at me that "You have no say because you don't have children yourself. Your opinions don't count until you're a parent of a teenager yourself." Grrr.
For me, I drank a lot when SD was around (which wasn't too often thank goodness!) What I also did do was everything I could to get pregnant. I researched all of my options, and finally was able to convince DH to let me travel overseas for IVF.
If money is the issue for you to try for children, can you maybe start saving money, and once you have a set amount saved, go for it? I will say that financially it's never "the right time", but try to find a way to be proactive toward your goal. That was the only way I was able to stay in my marriage.