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Is a 12 Year Old Capable of Choosing to Help Around the House??

FMSL's picture

The short answer is YES, of course!! I know I had daily chores and on weekends, I got to do extra helpful things like scrub the bathtubs and even mow the lawn. On top of that, if I really wanted something extra like dance lessons or music lessons, my parents told me that I would have to prove I'm responsible enough to take initiative to help out more than usual AND keep my grades up.

So, SD12 claims her "dream" is to join gymnastics. Ok. Fine. But for years, SD has refused to lift a finger to help out around the house. The only thing required of her so far is to clean her own room (which she never does--it looks like a rat's nest in there and her trash flows into the hallway) So Guilty Dad DH tells SD that if she can prove that she is being more helpful around the house and with the family, then he will be willing to do something for her and spend the hundreds of dollars for her "dream." That was a week ago. Every day, SD comes home from school, tells a new lie, yells at DH, asks where her food is, then quickly puts her dirty plate in the sink (unless DH specifically orders her to rinse and put in the dishwasher), then runs to her bedroom to sit and play with the door closed. Even with the incentive of gymnastics, SD still won't raise a hand to do better or help more.

It's just annoying to me that every time I walk in the kitchen, all the dishes and mess is left for me even though I'm the one cooking for everyone. SD can't even decide to put one plate or fork from the sink to the dishwasher. I have to ask myself if she is just blind or deaf...there's no other explanation lol.

You might ask why in the world does DH have guilty dad syndrome when SD has lived with us fulltime for over 7 years....? I'm telling you, I don't know!!! Why would SD get what she wants when she hasn't earned it? My BD24 never got anything unless she earned it and I know I didn't either.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

I often thought it strange that the 16 year old in my house, could not possibly figure out how to bring her dirty dishes and garbage out of her room but yet the just turned 5 year old, puts his dishes in the sink every time WITHOUT being told and throws his garbage away every time WITHOUT being told.

The just turned 5 year old also, occasionally, offers to help out around the house by cleaning windows, emptying trash, or vacuuming. and "occasionally" is cool with me, because it's 100000 times more than "never" that SD16 did.