Hmm. Wonder why this is???
SD22 and I did not speak for a couple of years. I still "did the right thing" and sent her invitations to BS7's bday parties those years anyway. I think she thought it was FDH doing it behind my back. At his 5th party, FDH told me as we got to the bldg., "oh, I invited SD and SSIL". I was pissed because he assumed that I was petty like his kid and didn't invite them, so he did it behind my back, when in fact I HAD sent an invitation (turned out to be to an address they no longer lived at, but I didn't know that), and also because it did not just occur to him to tell me 2 minutes before we got to the place. He waited to tell me so that if it pissed me off, I wouldn't be able to do anything about it because there were going to be a lot of other people around and it would cause a scene. Fucking sneaky asshole. So anyway, if the invitations were going to the wrong address both years, she definitely thought I didn't invite her and daddy did it behind my back. She made damn sure to show up, too. Pacing past me with her kid in her arms over and over, basically all the same things she would do when she stalked me at work.
Well when BS1 was born, we started speaking again. I got her correct address eventually. She did not show up to last years party, or the one we had for BS7 yesterday, either. Never missed a year before that. I think it's very odd that she had to make a point to me and show up when she thought she wasn't invited by me, but when she knows for sure that I have invited her, she doesn't come. I guess it's more important to try to prove to me that I can't get rid of her than it is to actually see her brother and celebrate his bday with him. I don't care that she didn't come. I actually prefer it. I just think it's bullshit that she places being a shit stirrer (or so she thought) above being a decent sister. It also annoys me to no end how if we miss something going on with her or her kids, it's a huge deal, she's so hurt, no one ever makes time for them, and she grills me, demanding to know why we weren't there, yet she can miss things and that's perfectly fine. It IS perfectly fine. No one is hurt or mad. But why is NOT fine if we can't make it to something? We'll see if she shows up for BS1's party in June. My spidey senses tell me....she won't.
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OR....maybe she's not showing
OR....maybe she's not showing up because she thinks she's showing us what it's like, as if it's payback for not going to BJ's party last year. Wouldn't surprise me a bit if she actually thinks we're sitting around regretting not going because she didn't show up yesterday. We don't keep score. She does. I always know exactly what the score is based on the grilling *I*, not FDH, the actual FATHER and GRANDFATHER get after not going to something.
That comment was from last
That comment was from last year, this year she has said nothing to me, but she did call and talk to FDH yesterday, probably giving him an excuse. He didn't tell me what she called for and I didn't ask, cuz I really just don't even care!
I just tell her we forgot.
I just tell her we forgot. It's half true. FDH really does forget. I have a better memory, but I don't want to go and fawn over her kids for several hours, so I don't remind him. If he were to remember, I would suck it up and go. But if he says nothing, neither do I. I don't apologize or go into a big explanation. I still don't understand why it's ME she's whining at and not her dad, though.
The reason is that just as
The reason is that just as the bio parent blames the step for his kid's "acting out"=bad behavior the child needs to blame the step for their dad's bad behavior = forgot grandkids event.
Don't you know, it's you "preventing" dad from being there, at the very least because you deliberately didn't remind him and drag him there! Nothing is ever the bio kids fault, nothing is ever the bio parents fault.
You're right. When I was
You're right. When I was pregnant and she was pissed about it, I needed to be on birth control, and why couldn't I have just waited? Not dad should have used a condom and why couldn't he have waited, just me. Not that she had any business telling any adult what they should be doing regarding their sex life or reproducing. Pretty much every single thing that has happened in her life over the past 10 years that she hasn't liked has been made out to be my fault. Oh well. Better get used to it then, because I have no intention of doing what she expects of me.
It makes me laugh to think that she may think she's proving a point by not coming. Little does she know that it makes me happy when she doesn't come, and the boys barely know her so they don't care one way or the other!