The Rest of the Story - Sticky Fingers

Last week I discovered SS13 had taken my flash drive. Please see previous blogs for details:

http://www.steptalk.org/node/219149

http://www.steptalk.org/node/219229

DH discovered the flash drive when we were in SS13's bedroom getting out his summer clothes. DH lifts up the bed so I can drag out the rubbermaid container. He kicked the flash drive when he did this. DH picks it up and says, "look I found it!" I said, "great but how did it get in here in the first place. It should be with my Surface Pro." DH just shrugged and said, "SS13 probably took it thinking no one would notice." DH then puts it on top of the entertainment center.

I bit my tongue, and waited. On Saturday SS13 had his Black Belt graduation. It's a big deal, it's taken SS13 4-years to earn his black belt. The school emphasizes not just physical strength but also moral strength including honesty.

So on Sunday morning when DH and I and SS13 were all together I confronted SS13. I said, "SS13, your dad found the flash drive in your room. Why was it there? And I don't want to hear "I don't know" or I can't remember."

There was a long silence and SS13 says,"I really don't know why it was in my room but if it was in there I guess I took it."

DH lays into him and says: "Stealing is wrong. What would a Black Belt do?"
SS13: "A black belt doesn't steal."
DH: "so why did you take it?"
SS13: "I don't know."

This went on for a while, DH didn't get anywhere. But at least I was able to confronted SS13. And DH didn't take it out on me or accuse me of being mean to SS13. I still feel violated but DH doesn't want to believe SS13 would do this so he's in denial and ignoring it. SS13 got no punishment, no grounding, nothing but a firm talking to, which we all know goes in one ear and out the other with the skids.

~BettyRay

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Comments

Men fucking kill me with that

Men fucking kill me with that shit! Thunderfoot used to "borrow" my clothes without asking and DH would defend her saying that she just thought my clothes were so cool that she wanted to wear them...that she idolized me. What the fuck ever...or "she's just borrowing it, she will return it." Not in the condition she got it in and NO she is not borrowing MY clothes!!! The only time she gets a "talking to" is when I completely lose my shit over something and rip DH a new one about it. Of course I have to lose my shit several times about the same thing usually before he will say anything.

My DH has done this too "oh

My DH has done this too "oh they took XYZ because they think it's cool, it's yours, so you're the cool SM."

Total BS excuse.

~BettyRay

Hey, at least you got a

Hey, at least you got a confrontation.

My DH would have been certain that either green aliens dropped it there, or somehow it was my fault. Like I was vacuuming and it fell out of my shorts and the vacuum pushed it under there. Riiiiiiight.

It felt good to confront

It felt good to confront SS13; It's all in the delivery, I was direct but my tone was happy-matter-of -fact. SS13 didn't know where to look or what to say which is when DH started in with the "What would a black belt do" speech.

~BettyRay

I'm going to make a point of

I'm going to make a point of talking to SS13's instructor - SS13 took the Black Belt test in the middle of May and passed then, SS13 has been practicing for graduation ever since. He wants to continue on to 2nd degree Black Belt but BM and DH haven't committed to financing it yet. If they do I will have a long conversation with Mr. M about SS13's sticky fingers and poor grades (as the instructor is adamant about excellence in all aspects of life, not just karate).

~BettyRay

When ss13 stole my underwear,

When ss13 stole my underwear, he did the whole crying thing and played the "I don't wanna talk about" game. Then attempted to run away twice. So this got him therapy, he thought he got out of a punishment because he cried/ran away.

I made home sell some of his NEW beloved video games to pay for new underwear. We were able to retrieve the underwear he stole, but I threw them away. He hasn't stole anything from us again - so far. But I also told him I would sell all of his games and game system next time I catch him stealing anything.

Start selling his stuff to pay you back for potential damage.

Ummmm why did your SS steal

Ummmm why did your SS steal your undies?!?

Because he is a disgusting

Because he is a disgusting teenager that has no boundaries. He even stole his own mothers undies. Every enabling family memeber wants to blame it on his ASD, I say bullshit.

He is not allowed alone in our house, or with BS1 ever. I take BS into the bathroom with me if I have to.

Not to get all "conspiracy

Not to get all "conspiracy theory", but something about this just isn't sitting right for me. Do you think it's at all possible that OSS (I forget his age, 18 maybe?) actually stole it and SS13 is covering for him for some reason??

no way, her SS13 was all

no way, her SS13 was all squirrelly about it when she tried casually mentioning that she couldn't find it. The kid is sneaky and her DH never gives out consequences.

No, SS18 didn't know the

No, SS18 didn't know the flash drive was with the Surface Pro, he never uses it. DH has been letting SS13 use my Surface Pro to do homework because DH is to lazy to monitor SS13 on the family desk top in the office. DH wants to watch TV so he has SS13 us my Surface Pro in the family room, the flash drive was in the case.

~BettyRay