I'd like to clear some things up

First dh sees his children more than 12 days a year. I ment to say he has 12 vacation days a year and he breaks those up to see his kids. On a 3 day weekend he will make it a 4 day weekend. Whatever he can do to stretch it out.

Yes the kids have be banned from my home. While it may not bother you guys to hear a kid read you a story where your son is stabbed to death it bothers me. My son doesn't deserve to hear how he will die a horrible death or my daughter. There are other reasons but this is the main one. My child had nightmares about getting stabbed by her. Or shot. Or thrown off the bridge. Or how he was the bad guy hurting girls. Nothing was done about it so I put an end to them being here. I will not change that.

Dh and I talked last night and I considered some of what was said in the other thread. I asked him point blank if he blames me and he said no. He blames himself for allowing me to control him. We got heated and he said he's applied for a transfer to be near his children. Without even talking to me about it. He should know in a week or 2 if he gets it. That will make him 8 hours from us. I asked how we should go about staying married and he said I could move with him or we could be long distance. That right now he needs to be closer to his kids. I let him know that they wouldn't be allowed in our home. Nothing changes and he said make it long distance and he got up and left. He didn't come home last night.

As for my mom she isn't doing well but I can't afford to up and leave and my kids can't afford to be pulled out of school for a week or two and then again when she passes. If I thought she had a week left I would be there now. My sister is a nurse and she is with her and will tell me when to come.

I'm completely numb right now and I have no idea how we got here. I guess another marriage will bite the dust. I won't let them torture my son mentally or what happens if she actually stabs him??

I was mad yesterday and pretty shocked I wasn't getting much support. He's not mandated to take that visitation. Its extra. I don't want my kids to replace his. I have no need to see a kid who wants to write stories about mine being stabbed to death. Had my mother not been sick I wouldn't have cared if he went. I would have been happy for him to see his kids and even happier I didn't have to.

If he gets the transfer our marriage will most likely be over. I can't have his children around mine and yes I do not like them for other reasons. Look around here and you see why. They do the same as the other mini wives. I just blew that off till the stories started.

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I don't care what you do

I don't care what you do about the step kids, but please do not take your children to see their grandma on her deathbed.

They are younger if I

They are younger if I remember correctly. This memory will trump any other memory of her they have. The sights smells and sounds will stay with them forever. Let them write letters or call, but you need to do this on your own.

I disagree. I was in second

I disagree. I was in second grade when my great grandmom died. I was in the hospital but they wouldn't let me go in and see her and say goodbye. I still am upset and resentful about it, 20 years later. I think it all depends on the maturity of the child

I watched three of my

I watched three of my grandparents die. To this a day that's all I remember about each one, the time spent right before they died. How the room smelled musty. How my grandpa gasped for air for the last hour he was alive and me being so upset because I didn't understand why no one would help him. It stays with you.

Ah ... the smell of death and

Ah ... the smell of death and the "death rattle."

I'm not trying to be a butt-head here. This is the reality. Hours spent crawled up on the bed, brushing hair, lotion on hands ... reminding the dying person of what all of you will remember, what will be carried forward. Youngsters don't need to be there.

I held my maternal grandmother in my arms when she died. I held my great aunt (her sister) ... decades later, I held my father.

You know what I find strange.

You know what I find strange. There have countless blogs about having kids at a birth or visiting the hospital after a birth. Most say that kids (steps really)shouldn't be there. I agree with not having kids there during the actual birth. However, not visiting afterwards is just odd.

But now we have people saying there's nothing wrong with taking these young to watch their grandmother die. :? That horror will stay with them forever.

Just a visit is one thing, I

Just a visit is one thing, I understood it to mean she was taking them to spend a week with grandma.

I am sure she is very capable

I am sure she is very capable of deciding what is and isn't appropriate for her children to do. The kids are going to be upset when grandma dies, at least this way they can say goodbye and can have the support of their extended families.

Do you have any biokids with

Do you have any biokids with him?

I feel bad for your kid who has essentially no contact with the bio dad and now will be no daily contact with the stepdad.

Looks like your DH made the

Looks like your DH made the decision for himself. If he gets the transfer, he's going. I guess he just had enough of your crap and decided he'd let you rule his life one too many times. It is what it is. Now I guess it's you and your kids who will only get to see him now and then.

You pushed him up against a wall. No surrender. No compromise. No concern for his needs nor feelings... what did you expect was eventually going to happen?

Doesn't matter what clarifications and clearing up here you write now. Doesn't matter what any of our opinions on it all are. Your husband has made his own decision on what and how can intends to prioritize his immediate future himself.

I wish him well.

This is excellent advice and

This is excellent advice and the reason that I let ASS live in my home. Who am I to tell my husband that his kid can't live with us? He would never do the same to me. It's called compromise. It's called being married instead of being right.

Which do you want to be, OP? Married or right??

Don't make him choose. Just like you would choose your kids, so will he.

I think you hit the nail on

I think you hit the nail on the head. She chose to protect her kids, it would be different if she was protecting a child that was both of theirs from s half sibling because then he would have a vested interest to protect that child as well. But she is protecting her kids and banishing his. He must feel like he had to protect what his kids and is now basically leaving her and banishing hers.

Blending families is extremely hard. It honestly doesn't sound like there is any middle ground here. It is the op's way or the highway, and he is choosing the highway. It may be best for op, and she really does have an obligation to protect her kids. If

Perhaps - but I think the

Perhaps - but I think the general consensus from her post yesterday was that the reasons for banishment were relatively petty.

Sociopath????? The kid wrote

Sociopath?????

The kid wrote a darn story. My goodness

Who posted earlier this week about her daughter getting in trouble at school for scaring another kid?? Some parents turn simple, innocent kid's play into a potential terrorist attack.

The OP didn't post one thing that justifies banning that man's children from their home. I for one think he's a damn fool for going along with this craziness as long as he did. How many stepmothers will help pay for a home for their SKs, but not allow their bios to enter the HOLY HOME?

Thank goodness he finally found his balls.

I think you ban kids as a

I think you ban kids as a last resort.

What happened to telling the kid to knock it off?

Kids make up stories. They tease and try to scare one another. I've heard kids in my school joking about eating brains. Should I run and call Bellevue or assume the kids have mental issues? Nope, because they are playing, being silly and trying to scare the crap out of one another.

If her kids have a SM, it

If her kids have a SM, it would be interesting to hear her description of the OP.

I think his children felt

I think his children felt resentful, left out and pushed away. I think instead of being adults, cause yeah, they are not! They acted up verbally, with words! Can you imagine being mostly cut off over something you said as a kid? Kids say horrible things! To get reactions, to get attention, and to hurt feelings. Now they are missing out on their dad over it.
I think people here support each other saying kids can NOT come to their home, when there is abuse involved, or lying about abuse etc. Those things are serious, and no one should be subjected to crap like that. However, of the few posters I have seen that have those restrictions in place, they have also respected and expected their spouse to still be responsible, involved as much as possible and a parent to whatever degree they can. I think you had very unrealistic expectations regarding your spouse and his children.
Your husband could have been there with you with your mom but you would not agree to it, he could have supported you via Skype, phone, email, text etc. Seriously. It is not the same I know but it is manageable. People do that every day! I do not talk about my first marriage too much but he is military and was deployed, people do it every day, you both just have to be strong enough to rely on each other however you can, not always in the same room holding hands.
You made this the end all be of all a marriage that sounded stressed to begin with. I suspect you are a nice a person but anger and grief are changing the way you see things. I am truly sorry regarding your mother's poor health.

Who is bashing her? I don't

Who is bashing her? I don't see anything of the kind. I see people stating their opinions, asking questions and making suggestions.....that's not bashing. Not even a little bit.

I knew I should have TM'd my

I knew I should have TM'd my Dog comments.

IF someone said "you are a

IF someone said "you are a controlling bitch" then yeah, that would be bashing. But I don't see that. I see people telling OP that her actions drove her husband to this. That's the truth. She may not like it, you may not like it, but it's not bashing.

I am with tommar - yeah, I think it IS helpful to hear the truth. Particularly when it's unpleasant and especially when you don't really wanna hear it.

He did not leave her to

He did not leave her to grieve alone. He was willing to go. She made the choice to dig her heels in about his kids.
He wanted to be with her AND spend time with his kids. He could have done both if the OP were willing to compromise.

The whole transfer plan

The whole transfer plan screams exit plan. No one tells their spouse that they are working one. Hell, you don't even start working on an exit plan until you have tried everything else and finally realize that things won't change.

My thought was his final

My thought was his final straw came when his kids couldn't visit him even if OP and her kids weren't going to be there. Right there went any justifiable excuse of concerns of her kids safety. She'll put locks on the doors, he'll kick door in? Me thinks insisting he accompanying her and her kids to Grandma's has more to do with keeping him on a leash than a true need to have him on 24/7 standby to comfort her in her grief

perfectly said, Road Less

No one called her a

No one called her a bitch.

Everything else posted is the truth. She was controlling the man and he did finally grown a pair.

There are plentymof people out there who believe posters will cosign or cyber high 5 anything postered here. Just because we are all/were stepmoms, doesn't mean we are going to support another stepmom being cruel to kids, hurting kids, trying to destroy her husband's relationship with his kids.....

Not allowing the kids in her

Not allowing the kids in her home mwy have had a major impact in the amount of time he was ablento see his kids.

The ban made it impossible for the kids to spend the summer (or at least a month), Christmas vacation or Spring break with their father.

He was stuck with only visiting them when he was able to use vacation time. Assuming the guy gets 2 weeks of vacation time a year, the ban drastically reduced the amount time he could see his kids.

Or he could get them for the

Or he could get them for the summer and enroll them in day camp. That would have increased his time with them by 4 weeks. He still could have done the long weekends.

If he used some of his vacation days to go see the OP's mom, that would have decreased the amount of days he had to use for visits with his kids.

The ban hurt his time with the kids.

Let's say it's the OP's

Let's say it's the OP's house. Surely he's helping to pay the mortgage and there bills. How many stepmoms are willing to help keep a roof over their minor SKs'heads, but not allow the bios into the home?

I'm all for protecting your children, but here had to be other options.

Interesting how polarized the

Interesting how polarized the opinions are on this.

My take is this: Maybe the OP overreacted to the skid's behaviour. But maybe not. I don't really understand why many posters are acting as though their judgement of the skid's behaviour is relevant.

Maybe it was way creepy, maybe it was normal behaviour. Either way, OP had a beef with it. Clearly, beefs in her family situation are handled poorly. Communication seems to be done by ending relationships in one way or another. I think THAT is the biggest problem here and addressing that, not evaluating from our armchairs the mental health of the SD, is what would improve the OP's happiness.

I agree. Who just decides

I agree. Who just decides they are going to move and if their spouse doesn't like it well tough shit for them? If he had any desire to stay in the relationship there would be some sort of discussion about moving.

The thing is, the crazy kid

The thing is, the crazy kid is a SM's SK. If the crazy kid were SM's bio kid, the story telling would be cute, she has a vivid imagination, she's a budding author.....

The other kid would be a wimp, wuss,pampered kid.....who is afraid of his own shadow.

Jimmney Cricket ~ it's starts

Jimmney Cricket ~ it's starts as stories and then goes to actions

Fruit salad I m with you.

Hubby is delusional ~ he regrets his decision ~ she didn't make his decision he did. He's a pussy n finally found his penis. He's an adult who made a decision he now regrets.

My SD is a bully ~ she bullied my kid mentally n emotionally she isn't permitted in my house. End of that story n never revisiting that subject ever.

Some of you posting on her are such friggin hypocrites ~ OP isn't controlling ~ she's protecting her kids. I will move mountains to protect my kids ~ if it involves protecting my kid from acting out his imagination you bet your ass.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Grow up ~ or STFU !

Hypocrites - yes, in a word.

Skid leaving ear buds in a

Skid leaving ear buds in a bedroom ~ isn't controlling ..you think that kid hasn't searched your room already. Ha ha ha~ that's hilarious. .. Hmmmm guess again

Good try stop preaching to the choir !

Unbelievable ~

Kids get called brats around

Kids get called brats around here every day. Why is it a problem now???

Grow up wasn't meant for OP ~

Grow up wasn't meant for OP ~ it was meant for the douche canoes ~ who were saying she was controlling. She is protecting ~ the cackling hens on here in hypocrites ~ if you sense your kid in danger you react n protect

I don't freak out on my SO if my kids are in my room ~ they search my room it's their bad if they find shit.

I'm with FruitSalad

I'm with FruitSalad too...BTW, I just hear the old Wiggles song...Fruit Salad yummy yummy.

I won't let my SS stb 16 live in my house. DSO said he was getting out of juvie by Christmas and thought he could move him in. Nope.

And honestly if people think that is so terrible, tough shit.

SS used to scare my gson. He threatened to throw him off the top bunk of a bunk bed and was trying by the time I got in there. This was screamed at him during Tgiving dinner and the whole family heard. Gson was 4 and SS was 7. After SS figured out Gson was scared of him, he then ramped it up to bullying him, saying he wanted to play fight then hold him down in a choke hold or sit on his penis. This went on until SS was 11 and I had to have him removed for destruction of my home. Holes in walls, busting windows.

As DSO would say when I would speak up concerned...SS is just a little guy playing around but gson was terrified of him. My house, my grandkid, my rules.

There are A LOT of posters

There are A LOT of posters that have their sets of reasons that they will never be near their SO's kids, and/or are not permitting in their homes... A LOT. I find it interesting how the majority of the 'gang' here are so quick to ridicule the OP about this. No one here has a clue how it all came to be this way. Maybe her DH is a shitty father - No New News There. Maybe the kids are off the deep end and their father doesn't interfere or parent them. Maybe she's right that if she's not in the house and his kids are that they will ransack her kids' bedrooms and toys, etc. Just fuck that allowing someone else... anyone else... to live in another person's bedroom. Very few people would be thrilled with that concept. The point is who knows why but that was their arrangement.

We all can relate to toxic skids and toxic situations involving skids. OP's situation is that she's under severe emotional pressure with her mother in hospice. I read some posts on the other blog where people were saying things like who knows what might happen - one of his kids could get hit by a train next week, or things to that affect. Yeah, okay - sure. But her mother is REALLY in hospice now and now is a time where she needs (AND SHOULD EXPECT!) emotional help from her HUSBAND. Sounds to me like another case of not FORSAKING ALL OTHERS for one's spouse. Frankly, if my DH left me in such a time of need so he could have Thanksgiving dinner with his kids, it would leave a mark on me that would likely have me leave HIM.

I feel for the OP, personally. If her husband is so quick to leave the marriage - I feel badly, but my gut is so be it. This was not the situation that caused that outcome.... that damage was probably years in the making. My guess is another Disney Dad playing 2 ends into the middle, in some passive/aggressive manner, and it all caught up to him. No one can "Make" anyone do anything they don't want to do. If her DH "found his balls" or whatever the general comments are here, then good for him... Seems to me he has issues if he keeps giving them away in the first place. Now, he'll be able to give them back to his kids, where they have likely been all the while.

Good grief... Cut this woman some slack. ... Just nastiness. Blech.

Condoned here? As in judge

Condoned here? As in judge and jury? Meh...

The gist of OP's post was this: Her mother is terminal and she wants her DH to accompany her to see her and THAT's what he should have done. Period.Dot. To leave his wife in a time of emotional need is just total crap... IMHO.

A MIL doesn't outweigh minor

A MIL doesn't outweigh minor bios

Since she wasn't willing to

Since she wasn't willing to compromise, keeping his kids away must have been more important to her than her need for emotional support.

Very good point. What would

Very good point.

What would be a real solution here? She can't have the skids in the hospice - she won't have them around her and besides, not many hospices are set up for kids (too bad, there's huge research on putting preschools into eldercare facilities having a positive effect on everyone, but I digress...). But what is she planning to do with her own kids for a week? They can't just sit quietly all day every day for a week?

She can't have the kids with the skids due to the concerns that lead to the banishment.

So maybe...

DH could take skids and stay in hotel. DH and kids stay with OP in hospice for a couple of hours, a BABYSITTER stays with skids in hotel/takes them out, whatevs. Then DH goes with kids and meets up with BABYSITTER, picks up skids and drops kids with BABYSITTER. Rinse and repeat.

I think that was suggested

I think that was suggested yesterday and OP responded that DH would not "be there" enough for her when she needed him if he wasn't staying with her (?). Travel-time. Evenings. Something like that

Yeah. OP seems to have no

Yeah. OP seems to have no clue that even if she had a perfect DH (which she does not) and she had no issues (which is not the case), her needs are way beyond what any one person can meet.

I learned in therapy a year or so ago that some of us don't get filled up with enough love as small kids, so it's possible to spend our adult lives trying to get other people to fill in the missing love. But the time for that has passed and that 'hole' will always be there. It's just the less healthy among us are oblivious to this need and find harmful ways to try to fill ourselves up.

I don't know if this is the best or most true way of understanding unhappiness and loneliness, but it is a good parable for me.

I believe someone suggested a

I believe someone suggested a sitter at the hotel. OP said nope. She wants him there for her AND her kids 24/7.

Seems that some people don't

Seems that some people don't want a solution to their problem because then they'd have to admit their real problem is actually something way less easy to address.

See, this is, IMHO, too

See, this is, IMHO, too much.

What about her children? She wants his undivided attention, but where will her attention be? 100% on her mom? 100% on getting support and attention from DH? 100% on her children?

I do understand that she needs and wants a lot from her DH right now. But we all have to live in reality. With kids who have needs even when it's inconvenient for us, for example. And *just* talking about her kids - are they going to be with a sitter, with family, with her? Or are they going to disappear into thin air until this difficult time in her life is over?

So if we accept that her reality and her kids will continue to exist... why isn't there any choice other than his existence be entirely about her OR the marriage is over? All or nothing thinking is almost always a sign that the person is looking for control, not a solution. IMHO, ofc.

I hesitate to respond because

I hesitate to respond because I do understand that you are sensitive to this. And although I have lost one of my parents, our relationship was not easy and so I don't know if I would describe him as a beloved parent. I loved him, but the bond was insecure. He went to the doctor with really bad acid reflux, the doctor referred him to the hospital, he was told he had pancreatic cancer and 85% of patients with that diagnosis die within 3 months, the remainder within (usually) 6 months. He lasted 4.5 months. I lived a 6 hour plane ride away, worked full-time, and was renovating my home/selling it/buying another/moving during those 4 months. I was single.

I went to visit my dad 3 times, and again for the funeral. I would have liked to have been there for my bro/sis more, but they are weird and difficult people. My parents had been divorced for 15 years, and my mom offered to visit him or bring him food or his mail, but he refused to see her.

I was so fortunate to have the vacation time, the flexible workplace, and the money (cashflow) to be able to go visit my dad that much. I was lucky to be able to stay with my mom. When I did see my dad, nothing much happened. He was ill, confused, angry, and there was nothing to do for him other than go with him to appointments or help him as needed. We watched tv and talked about shared interests. Normal visits, except with his imminient death looming over everything.

If I brought two kids under the age of 10, we couldn't have even done that. The kids would need to be occupied. I would have wanted to bring my partner, not to support me, but to allow the kids to be part of this time without actually having to do the work myself. Because I wanted to be with my dad.

What support could anyone reasonably ask of another? If I did have a partner and kids, and he got the standard 2 weeks, could I really expect our family to sacrifice half of our family vacation plans for this reason? Is that a decision I would have been happy with come summer time?

I don't know. I just think, 100% support is not always physically standing there with your arm on someone's shoulder. If I were to be going through this now, with my mom - I'm living overseas, I have a partner and a small child - I still don't think I would ask for DD and DH to come with me. Because I want to be with my mom. And when I'm not with her, I want to be able to connect and talk to DH. And during that time, I'd be ok with DH taking care of DD at home, and being available on the phone. Because that's a good solution for my family.

I get that my situation is not yours and not the OP's. I just feel sad for the OP that her inability to be flexible is not just robbing her of some support from her DH (even if it's not as much as she wants), but it seems to be robbing her of her entire relationship with DH.

We have to meet people where they are. Maybe that means we leave them there too. But in a marriage, I wish for the OP to get a lot more out of it than ultimatums and anger. But it sounds like that's what she's putting into it herself.

You know, LF if one were to

You know, LF if one were to read your blogs, one might think that you're just miserable in general and looking for anyone to lash out on... from your relationship with your DH, your skids that you obviously can't stomach,... right down to other people's perfumes, I'd say, maybe you should have a teensy bit of compassion and try to understand that like you, people's lives are not so rosy all the time.

Get a room!!!!

Yep.... shitty people don't

Yep.... shitty people don't typically manifest from vapor... they begin a shitty children. Most children are sweet, innocent and interesting, but some are just plain out evil and shitty.

Honest? I would not ban a

Honest? I would not ban a child his, mine, or ours. It gets to that point, I'd probably have to buy the house down the road. A-holes in one house, civilized in the other

I don't know, Echo. I'd say

I don't know, Echo. I'd say the OP is genuinely oblivious to much that is happening in her life. She married a man who had already voluntarily moved a significant distance away from his kids. We don't know how the custody arrangements played out then, but presumably he was already only seeing them during vacation periods - up to two months per year. Maybe he was able to spend significant quality time with them when he saw them, maybe he left them in day camp and day care and saw them for an hour in the evenings like so many working/single parents have to do.

She talks about banning her SD from the home like she made the decision and her DH just went along with it - until now, anyway. I have no idea if she had legit reasons, whenever I hear about creepy 'threatening' type kids my mind always turns to hismineandours (is she anywhere around these days?) and her deeply disturbed skid. Naturally the OP's SD could be a perfectly ordinary kid. But then, what did the dad say when SM 'banned' her? "Ok, hun, no problem?" Because it doesn't sound new and it doesn't sound like there was an objection. But of course we don't have much actual information. Anyway, if that's how her DH responded, I get why she'd be surprised now. And also the reasons behind the banning might be either more significant - or the DH might be a way more passive of a person than you or I can even imagine.

So yeah, I think she has no idea how she got here. And she's got no idea if here is particularly where she wants to be. Or how to get to anywhere else. She's got a laundry list of how the world is supposed to be, she's assigned people their roles, and now she's surprised they don't seem to be following her script. She can't take responsibility for herself or her role in any of this because she has no sense of genuine relationships.

Really damaged people have no idea how messy normal life is. So they have this pristine ideal of relationships, of families, (remember the anniversary of having met or having had a date or whatever blog earlier this week?) that just doesn't match with real life or real people. In real life, who cares whether dinner is on the table at 5.30, 6 or 6.30?? In ideal life, dinner is on the table at 6pm, everyone is tidy and nicely dressed with washed hands, everyone uses proper table manners and sits up straight, makes polite conversation, and offers to clear the table after asking to be excused. And failing to meet this ideal is a threat to the sense of self.

I truly think this OP has huge problems, and that her mother's terminal illness is a massive trigger. I also think the DH has big issues too, so they kind of seem to be in a symbiotic-parasitic relationship with each other. Neither communicate in a positive way, both demand and threaten the relationship, and neither seem to have a clue that this is not how to be happy.

Between you and Echo just

Between you and Echo just now, there are thoughtful posts to this thread .

Whatever happened to the "you're a bully - no, you're a meanie," private feuds and cursing viciousness of yesteryear?

That's next week. Tuesday, I

That's next week. Tuesday, I think. Stay tuned!

Don't let Echo get you into a

Don't let Echo get you into a kiddie pool of jello. She always wins.

Lol dont know if i want a

Lol dont know if i want a mental pic or not.... }:) }:) }:)

Glossies eh ? Oh hell.....

Dupe... u have my brain

Dupe... u have my brain totally defiled!!!

I didn't comment yesterday

I didn't comment yesterday because I agreed with many of the opinions on here.

And again today, except to say I believe you could use some personal therapy. Whatever happened to you in your first marriage or relationship that produced those kids you have, has made you uncompromisingly stubborn.

As I feel your H should make your marriage his first priority, his underage kids are his first responsibility.

And thus far, he has made your relationship his first priority. However, now he realizes his own kids were lost in the shuffle. I don't blame him one bit for making the tough decision to spend Thanksgiving with his kids or for putting in the transfer.

You have not made your marriage your first priority. You've placed your wants and needs (and your kids) above all else in your home. While I understand this, your obvious need to control everyone in your life speaks volumes. I'm beginning to believe your ex (the bioF of your kids) was probably not a good person, probably abusive. Which led to your need to control your now H and your skids.

Please get some help. I hope you can salvage your marriage but maybe his transfer is for the best. Maybe this will give you the space and the opportunity to take a long hard look at what you both really want in life and love.

Very true. She could be

Very true. She could be someone with a controlling nature. Which would make more sense, of what seems to me, her unreasonable stance in her home. Especially now, while she's facing the death of her mother. A situation she cannot control on any level.

At any rate, this situation is very sad for so many involved.

But the OP's kids are also

But the OP's kids are also "percious COD". Something tells me she would not be OK with leaving ALL of the kids behind. That way she could focus om her mother, he could on her and neitherbone would be distracted by their children.

You are here

I'd like to clear some things up

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