I am SM to SD14 and SS7. DH is custodial parent and they live with us. I have been their mother figure for nearly two years now. BM gets supervised visits every other Sunday for a few hours.
I absolutely despise BM and that she is even remotely involved in my life. The mere mention of her makes my blood boil. When I first came into DH and skids life she had been almost absent for the previous five years. Going as long as an eight month stretch without seeing the kids. Also, she has NEVER provided any support assistance to DH for the kids.
At first I felt sorry for her. I even attempted being nice and helping her out to see the kids as long as she had food where ever she was staying. I even went so far as to watch her dog one day while she was "moving" again. "Moving" is going from one BF to the next BF so she can see what she can take from them.
Things went downhill really fast. SS then 5 starting being very physically violent with me. It was discovered that BM told him to "hurt me". Poor little guy was trying to get his "mom's" approval by kicking, spitting and even pulling a knife on me. It has been over six months now since he has tried to hurt me in any way. This is thanks to therapy and less contact with BM.
The big thing now is that BM may one day have unsupervised visits with them again. It scares me because I am pregnant with my first BC.What if BM decides she wants to hurt my child and convinces SS to hurt her. I don't have to worry about SD as she knows what her BM is about and has no problem telling us that she hopes to never be like her.
To sum it up, I know how strong a lil boys desire to please his "mom" can be and I fear that she will use that to hurt me or my baby.