Thankful it's over for another year
I made it through Christmas with the help of my buddy, Di Saronno.
DH and I were up late Christmas Eve cleaning house and cooking. The skids were due to arrive Christmas day at 1pm, so our plan was to get up at 9am, finish cleaning/cooking, and get a shower.
BioHo called at 10am to...find out what time the skids were supposed to get there. WTF?!?!?!?!?! EVERY SINGLE ONE of those shi'theads were told ONE FREAKING PM. Annoyed the living FiretrUCK out of me. So.....
I was bad.
I added a shot of Di Saronno to my second cup of coffee. And to my third. And the fourth. At noon, I jumped into the shower and was towel drying my hair when... the facking skids came bursting into the house. Talk about going from zero to p!ssed in .00027 seconds.
The dog had not been shut up in our bedroom.
Some of the food was still in the refrigerator (the plan was to set it out at...1pm!).
I wasn't even dressed and still had wet hair.
WTF happened to "Be here at 1pm"?!
I was in the downstairs bathroom. DH kept coming down to find out when I'd be ready. I finally burst into tears and yelled in a whisper, "I'll be done at 12:55pm JUST LIKE I PLANNED. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO BE HERE AT 1pm?!?!?!?!" He hugged me, apologized, and told me to take my time. At that point, I just wanted to say Screw It and crawl into bed.
Guess what? I was ready at... 12:55pm. Exactly as planned. Go upstairs and see... the bloody skids had already annihilated the food. The only bloody thing that none of them touched - the plate of crackers.
2/3 of the ham - GONE
3/4 of the cheese - GONE
1/2 of the shrimp - GONE
2/3 of the summer sausage - GONE
3/4 of the cheesecake - GONE
At that point, I grabbed the Di Saronno, filled an oversized mug halfway, topped it with coffee, and added 2 spoons of creamer. Stood looking out the kitchen window trying to do some calming breathing exercises. DH came in to see what I was doing. Told him I was just trying to breathe. We went into the living room and the gift frenzy began.
Or should I say, the skid gift frenzy. 6 guests in our home. DH's stepdaughter, SD22, her fiancé (25), their 5yo son, SD19, PrincASS16, and PigPen13. Did ANY of them give DH anything? No. Not even a bloody facking CARD. NOTHING. Un-facking-believable. I was absolutely disgusted. They could have pitched in their pennies and gotten him a $1 card. Then again, why the hell would they? Let's be honest here. They were not there for anything other than GIMME GIMME GIMME.
As soon as DH left the living room to use the bathroom(about 10 minutes after the GIMME frenzy), I slipped out and hightailed it to the bedroom. Turned out the light, crawled into bed, and positioned the pillows and covers so I could play solitaire on my phone, but would have time to turn off the screen if DH came in so he wouldn't notice and would think I was sleeping. When he did come in, he said, "Aw baby, I didn't know you were so tired. Take a nap." I didn't emerge from the bedroom until after the skids left an hour later.
Next year. Egads, I'm already dreading next year.
- Aniki-Moderator's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I'll trade you my MIL and FIL
I'll trade you my MIL and FIL next year. Scratch that...if they are coming next year I swear on a stack of coffee I will NOT be here!!
Pass the alcohol, please. *eyetwitch*
I don't know if I should be
I don't know if I should be ashamed or impressed that I drank HALF of that bottle. :O
LOL I rarely finish half a
LOL I rarely finish half a glass of any drink so I'm impressed
I confess... I was impressed
I confess... I was impressed with myself. And on an empty stomach, too. I was too nervous to eat. :?
Oh Aniki, don't you know that
Oh Aniki, don't you know that schedules don't apply to skids?! New cocktail name The Aniki, 4 shots di saronno, 1 shot coffee.
My skids that changed their visit date several times and decided on Christmas day then cancelled. Wait, they showed up that afternoon with no notice at all. Oh joyous season.
That's bloody rude!! They
That's bloody rude!! They have zero consideration for my husband. On their weekends, they usually arrive between 4:30 and 5pm. A few months ago, we were waiting for them to arrive (and put off eating so we could all eat together). 5 rolls around. No skids, no call. 5:30. 6. 6:30. 7. DH didn't called - just figured they weren't coming and that we had the night to ourselves. We were... getting frisky and were just about to get nekkid...when they arrived. Why were they late? Oh, they decided to have dinner with BioHo because she bought pizza. Thanks for calling, arseholes. NO manners. I wish I could turn back time and we had left the house to go out for dinner so they would have arrived to a dark, empty, LOCKED house.
I was raised that it is just as rude to arrive early as it is to arrive late. They never give any thought to that because, obviously, the world revolves around them!
I was raised the same way.
I was raised the same way. Next time they are running late, grab DH and go!
I wish, robin! The problem
I wish, robin! The problem is, DH works so many hours and is usually so physically exhausted, I'm hard pressed to get him to go anywhere. But from here on out, any time it gets to 5:30 and no skids/no call, I will make sure the door is locked so they have to knock/call.
Yes, LF, they are exactly
Yes, LF, they are exactly that. I have already put a note in my calendar for next year to a) be ready at least 2 hours BEFORE they are scheduled to arrive, and b) keep all food COVERED, in the oven, or in the refrigerator until minutes before the scheduled time.
I've seen dogs with better manners.
*evil grin* i'd be ready
*evil grin* i'd be ready FOUR hours beforehand, then grab dh to go run a few errands, returning home precisely fifteen minutes before their scheduled arrival.
self-absorbed ingrates.
Tuff, I meant NEXT year on
Tuff, I meant NEXT year on Christmas. NO way we'll run errands Christmas day. No drinking and driving for me!!
Can I use your last sentence
Can I use your last sentence as my tagline?
What a bunch of hooey,
What a bunch of hooey, monkey! Yes, the ones who got a pass deserve it. But the SD?
Your DF needs to straighten her out. It should not matter what's convenient for HER. "This is the schedule. YOU will follow it." He got ticked off. He's the parent; she's the child. So, he should be the boss.
They are without you AND
They are without you AND brought zero presents??????? Holy crap on a cracker!!!!!!!
Please don't make them any dinner next year. And as for opening presents, say we will do a game, exchange one from us to one from you. Open one at a time. Make them feel awkward that they didn't buy you are your husband a present.
I don't care that they didn't
I don't care that they didn't bring ME a present. Frankly, I don't want to have to say Thank You to PrincASS or PigPen for anything unless they're holding the damn door open for me. But nothing for DH? Not even a freaking CARD?? I was absolutely livid.
I will make food next you ONLY to make DH happy. But it will all be in the oven or refrigerator or covered up until the scheduled time. Rude, inconsiderate, selfish arseholes!
They really have zero
They really have zero manners!!!!! :sick:
Cheez Whiz and Spam, next
Cheez Whiz and Spam, next year.
Do an actual gift exchange; bring a gift, get a gift (don't bring a gift, watch others open theirs). Not necessarily for the minors but for sixteen and up, for sure.
Um, EW! Honestly, I would
Um, EW!
Honestly, I would hate doing a gift exchange because I do NOT want to have to thank a mannerless skid for one damn thing. And rest assured, their "gift" would surely be some thoughtless piece of crap they grabbed from local charity.
You don't have to thank them
You don't have to thank them because it's all anonymous. If they want to "white elephant" it, then you can, too!
Oh my goodness... OP I'm so
Oh my goodness... OP I'm so sorry you have to deal with such spoiled entitled brats ruining your Christmas day
They should have brought you guys something! Like you said even pitching all their pennies for a card! And then to inhale all your food before the woman who made it happen is even there?! Shame on your DH for allowing that.
The gimme gimme present frenzy thing is sickening as well, Christmas should be about visiting, having fun, making memories etc...
I would have crawled into bed as well. Hugs.
DH was in the living room and
DH was in the living room and didn't know the food was being raided until step grandson 5 came out of the kitchen with 2 handfuls of cheese slices. PrincASS, the human garbage disposal, was in there stuffing ham down his throat like a starving person who hadn't seen solid food for a month - and BioHo has a big pancake/bacon/egg BRUNCH every year, so this was literally 2 hours after he'd stuffed his face. That's when DH came downstairs to see how close I was to being ready and when I burst into tears. He didn't want to upset me more by telling me the drove of pigs had plowed through the food.
Go to the store in the next
Go to the store in the next week or two. Purchase the following items (cheapest version possible - extra points for a dented can or something out of date):
large can sauerkraut (not the good stuff)
can of spam (generic off brand if possible)
jar of generic pickle relish
Another other weird ingredient you might find - pickled pigs' feet?
Mix together and throw in the freezer. Don't wrap it too well. You want to encourage a sufficient amount of freezer burn.
Leave this in the freezer - until they arrive. Heat it to warm around the edges. Still frozen in the middle will be okay.
Now slap it on the table for those aholes with a great big FU to all of them.
^^^^^^*^yes!
^^^^^^*^yes!
My FIL was a great one for
My FIL was a great one for arriving VERY early to events I hosted. I finally started answering the door in my bathrobe and leaving him to his own devices while I finished getting ready. No food, drink, or chit chat. Eventually, he got the message.
How dog-awful your skids are. Your DH is completely at fault for not controlling is horde. Did he do anything to bring them in line?
Next year, have all the ADULTS draw names for a gift exchange, and make the gathering a potluck. You may not want gifts from them, but do deserve a tolken of respect (maybe a bottle of di Saronno?). How are any of these heathens ever to learn if you keep enabling their crass behavior? Under the current model, they get rewarded for bad behavior. Change that, and you might get a different result.