Court date is here
Tomorrow is FDH's court date for BM being in contempt. She's been keeping SD6 from him during his weekday visitation for about a month now. And on one of his weekends with her she showed up an hour late (which we were in luck to only be down the road since we had already waited the 15 min grace period). He made his last attempt to get SD before court earlier this week, despite BM's threat that if he showed up again before court she would press harassment charges. Luck for my anxiety though, he showed up with 2 police officers in tow. They didn't do anything of course, but it made me feel better. One of of the officers actually told him there was nothing she could do anyways since he wasn't showing up everyday, just on visitation days.
Anyways tomorrow is the day. Not really expecting much from it so I'm not even bothering to go. I'm off work so I'm going to enjoy my day of and spend it with my sister. I asked FDH if he cared if I went and he doesn't and I don't really want to spend a chunk of my day with BM lol. Even though I don't expect much to happen, I'm hoping she gets enough of a slap on the wrist to convince her to follow the CO. Anybody who's been through this have any advice on what we should expect tomorrow? I'm kind of worried that they won't find her in contempt because she's denying visitation because she claims it doesn't work with her work schedule anymore. But FDH told her that he would pick her up from wherever she was if BM told her where she was. She wouldn't. Plus we are pretty sure that BM's wife is the one who has SD while BM is at work. She has been at home and refuses to answer the door every time that FDH has showed up.
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He has the dispatch reports
He has the dispatch reports from the police station and when he told her that he would pick SD up wherever she was, it was in a text message. He also has the text message where she said she wouldn't let him get her on his weekdays anymore.
Make sure he knows exactly
Make sure he knows exactly what he will say tomorrow. IF the wife is keeping the kid in the house instead of letting her go with dad, make sure he brings that up.
Does he have a log of all the denied visits with times arriving, result, etc? If not, make one tonight.
Dress appropriately and be respectful. Tell him to not be afraid to say "I don't understand" if the Judge says something that he doesn't understand.
The fact that her work schedule doesn't work with the weekday visitation is NOT a reason for her to deny it. The current order says that is his time, and whoever is behind the front door needs to let her go.
good luck.
Thank you. We have some
Thank you. We have some dispatch reports, but I'll have him make a log for the days that the officers didn't come and where he didn't call. Unfortunately since we aren't 100% sure SD is there, I'm not sure he'll really be able to bring it up. We just think she is because Bm's wife has been getting home about the time she would from getting SD from school. She's also a confrontational person who would answer the door to FDH and chew him out unless SD was there since they want us to think she is not.
does SD go to school? Any
does SD go to school? Any chance DH can ask to have the pickup take place at school?
Eliminates the whole issue of who will or won't open the door.
And, it doesn't matter if you're not 100% sure if SD is home or not - it's HIS time and she can't withhold it.
We actually used to do that,
We actually used to do that, but BM stopped letting us (it's about an hour earlier than his scheduled time that she would get picked up). Said she didn't have to let him get her from school and FDH had to pick her up at her house from now on. I might see if he could get it changed in the CO so that there's less conflict...
Here is my suggestion -
Here is my suggestion - despite my seemingly short time here I have actually been here over 4 years, almost 5. AND we had a very high conflict, clever and conniving BM.
Get a court order. Spell out as much as humanly possible. It avoids situations like the ones you describe above.
There is no "letting him get her from school" for the parent who doesn't have physical custody. I feel like your husband thinks that she calls some of the shots. If what you say is true about the agreement, she doesn't get to call any shots, right??
Based on what you say, I fear that there is no order on who has physical or legal custody, and that makes your DH unprotected.
School is a great drop off and pick up point. Neutral. Lots of potential witnesses. Safe place if one parent flakes out.
There is a court order. They
There is a court order. They have shared legal custody, she is the CP. His visitation times start an hour after she gets picked up from school. So whenever BM decides she doesn't want to cooperate she can defer back to the CO and we can't stop her. We prefer to go off the order anyways. But that means we would have to get it changed in order to pick her up from school since his time doesn't start for another hour. Otherwise we'd have the police knocking on our door.