O/T: House rules for a child home alone
Do you have house rules for your kids when they are home alone? I do, they are unwritten, so BD12 likes to violate ALL of them and pretend she never knew.
Latest is having a friend over when I have told her 20 times no friends over when an adult is not at home. It's a liability. We have a large dog, BD12 is not good at following the rules and gets worse when she has a friend around. It's just not worth it. But she asked DH and he said "Of course! I want to be your best friend and not a (ick) parent!"
So what rules do you have? I'm going to print them and post them on the refrigerator so I don't have to hear "I don't remember" or "I didn't know" any more.
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Not really at an age yet
Not really at an age yet where oldest bio 11 is home much on his own but the big one for me would be "No Friends Over Unsupervised" just like you.
BD12 knows this, so she
BD12 knows this, so she contacted DH for permission. I think I'm going to add:
No contacting the parent you think is most likely to say yes when you have a request or favor to ask!
You need to get DH to check
You need to get DH to check with you before he gives an answer.
We discuss that EVERY damn
We discuss that EVERY damn time this type of situation comes up. He doesn't think he should have to "check with me" before he parents.
Then what is the point in
Then what is the point in asking here and putting up 'rule' list? If DH doesn't agree to the rules and/or decides the 'rules' are flexible, isn't the list meaningless?
If SD doesn't like the rule on any given day she'll just ask Dad if she can break it for his or that day.
Hopefully this way DH will
Hopefully this way DH will KNOW what is and is not allowed. He just says he didn't know the rule and didn't know he had to check with me before making a decision. I don't want him to feel that way but I want us to be on the same page.
His rights end where your
His rights end where your nose begins.
I would tell him that his RIGHT to be a parent ends when it is YOU that are potentially impacted.
So, if he wants to give SD permission to pierce her forehead. Who cares.
When he allows her to run freely through the house you live in and cause you to come home to a wreck. You are being impacted.
You deserve to know what you are going to walk into every day. You deserve to know that the chicken you were planning on serving for dinner is still in the fridge. You deserve to not have to come home to drink cans all over the house bringing in bugs. You deserve to not see all your favorite DVD movies in a stack being scratched. You deserve the right to say you DON'T want a friend over when you have had a hard day at work with a splitting headache.
You could always start having your girls nights "in" and all your girlfriends can be over drinking wine and when the stripper shows up.. what??? why do I need to ask you?
1. No friends over unless
1. No friends over unless permission has been granted in ADVANCE (and not with the other kid standing there with you).
2. No kids in the house when adults are not present.
3. No snacking on unapproved drinks and foods.
4. You use a dish or utensil you either clean it or rinse and put it in the dishwasher.
5. You take toys, games, dvd's out, you put them back where they belong immediately after using them.
6. No trading clothes or possessions with your friends. (younger SD would do this until we made it a rule)
Ding ding ding! It's like you
Ding ding ding! It's like you KNOW my BD12!
1. Asked DH WITH friend standing next to her
2. What I'm trying to prevent
3. Does this ALL the time
4. NEVER cleans up after herself unless I nag
5. Put ... things ... back. What is that?
6. Does this all the time. I bet every other day I'm saying, "Where did you get that shirt from?"
I started out with 5 and 9 yo
I started out with 5 and 9 yo girls..lol. I think they are all the same and to be fair, they would do this even if they weren't your steps.
My other rule was that "everyone sleeps in their own bed" By that I meant I didn't do sleepovers. It actually stemmed from a really creepy situation I encountered with YSD.
We have a vacation place on a little island and she made a little friend there. No big deal it was a small island we pretty much let her run free with her friend at 9 YO. Well, one day I go over to the friend's house to retrieve her and as we are walking back to our place, I notice her hair is wet. I asked her why and she said she and her friend took a bath. In the middle of the Day. Yeahhhhhh uh no. After that, my rule was she doesn't go into anyone's house and we bathe and sleep at home!
It made it easier to just have that blanket rule so we didn't get the constant requests. When we were on the island WE were on vacation too and weren't going to babysit other people's kids!
I have an 11 year old
I have an 11 year old daughter. She has friends over that will put on very inappropriate things on youtube. I got lectured about this very thing at my 7 year old's birthday party this past weekend. One of my friend's posted a karaoke video of her daughter single a Ke$sha song at karoke night and the song was Canibal and has oral sex references in it. She said my kid introduced it to her on youtube. My kid was shown it from the horrid kid up the street so I have implemented a no youtube rule .
I also have a trampoline. My home owners insurance does not cover trampoline accidents. I went outside and those kids were jumping on the trampoline with giant sticks! So now there is a no trampoline rule
I wouldn't allow horror
I wouldn't allow horror movies. But that is because I have nighmares haha.
There were some things I confiscated over the years too.
Exactly! So if the rules are
Exactly! So if the rules are down in black and white, MAYBE I stand a chance?
You know a list will not make
You know a list will not make of difference don't you?
Your husband will continue to ignore your wishes and just play dumb. At 12, your daughter already know what the rules are. She also knows that her father will always over ride your wants/wishes. The quickest way to solve the problem (and ensure the younger daughter doesn't get it into head that this is a good idea) is to give the 12 pure hell each and every time she plays you and your husband against each other.
The kids will still do the
The kids will still do the divide and conquer. Lol
All of the above. Plus we
All of the above.
Plus we have a "No leaving the house/yard unless you tell either DP or Cover when and where you are going."
Both SDs have done this, disappeared on us, this past year.
Talk about searching! We are ok with them going out into the neighborhood and greenspace, but we have to know about it!
Do any of you have a pool?
Do any of you have a pool? I'm wondering what the rules are for it during the summer time? Both skids at 14 and will be at home this summer with a pool. I say no swimming without an adult home, am I off base?
This really has to depend
This really has to depend upon the relative maturity level of the kids involved. Some 14YO's may be responsible and others not so much. It also depends on their ability to swim.
If they are of the reasonably responsible variety and decent swimmers, I would allow use only if both of them were there. No swimming alone.
BUT, no guests without advance permission and an adult/parent present