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6-year-old skid bit himself. Alert the media!

nengooseus's picture

Infuriating BM is at it again...

So last Friday, Skid 11 got the news that she's getting an award for Safety Patrol. OK. Cool. There's a banquet and it's a biggish deal. When DH told me about it, I warned him that there would be some kind of issue with Skid 6, because Skid 11 isn't allowed to be the center of attention.

So the next day--literally less than 12 hours later--we get an emergency voicemail from BM that she's on the way to the hospital with Skid 6.5 because he has a 101 degree fever. Oooooh Kaaaaay. Strep sucks, but it's not ER worthy in my book. But we were out of town, so it made no difference to us anyway.

Apparently we didn't pay enough attention to golden skid 6.5... Yesterday morning, she e-mailed DH to explain that he needed to immediately agree to test Skid 6.5 for anxiety and depression because on Tuesday night, he bit himself. That's clearly self-harming behavior, and it needs to be addressed immediately.

DH asked for more information. Context, reactions, severity of the bite, etc. 4 emails later, we had enough information to piece the story together. He bit himself well enough to leave a mark for an hour--no blood drawn-- and when asked why he did it, he told her that he felt like it. Keep in mind that this is a child who has a HUGE, long-term oral fixation (literally hands in his mouth all the time, so much so that he got warts on his face from licking his hands).

DH told her that he's sure the child is stressed--the constant conflict between the kid's parents is a good reason for him to feel that way--but since there's been no dip in grades or change in behavior, it's difficult to say that this is truly self-harming behavior, but that he would talk to the therapist about testing and/or treatment. That response was clearly not what she was looking for. So here come the constant e-mails. It's 3 today so far...

This woman is absolutely ridiculous. I try to stay out of the fray, but it's really hard to watch DH try to manage all her BS. And keep in mind, this is the Skid that she's had PASd out for nearly a year who I would frankly prefer to stay PASd out.

Blah.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

(literally hands in his mouth all the time, so much so that he got warts on his face from licking his hands).

WTH?? I have never heard of such a thing?! This does NOT sound like anxiety/depression... it sounds like craziness! Is it some type of disorder ya know like eating mattress foam or dirt???

nengooseus's picture

To be honest, I've wondered since he was an infant if there were issues with this kid (I seriously wonder if he's on the spectrum). Major speech and fine motor delays that BM left unaddressed for much too long, and other weird behavior. But who can delineate which kind of crazy we're dealing with at this point?

BM is convinced the kid is ADHD, but that was ruled out, so I guess we're now on to depression and anxiety. She did something similar when Skid 11 was around that age. She *really* wants there to be something wrong with these kids, but she surely doesn't want to deal with it if there is something.

It's thoroughly disgusting.

Teas83's picture

^This.

My BM is the same way. Something is always wrong with SD8: she's always being traumatized by something, she's always allergic to something, she's always stressed out and anxious, etc.

hereiam's picture

And what traumatizes some of them the most, is living with these BMs. My SD is 24 and BM still messes with her head.

DaizyDuke's picture

Yep! I run the alternative learning center in my school district and 95% of the time that I have a student who needs tutoring because they have anxiety it's because the parent in a loon and has planted all kinds of ridiculous crap in the kid's head... the parent Dr. shops, drags the kid around to different doctors for all these things that are "wrong" with kid, looking for that one Doctor who will entertain their ridiculousness. After seeing 15 Dr.'s and Dr.'s running 40 different tests,...there is still no diagnosis because there is NOTHING wrong with the kid.. so the best they can come up with anxiety. Well I'd be anxious too if I had a nutter BM like that!!!

hereiam's picture

I feel bad for these kids, too.

The adults just go around doing whatever it is that they want to do with absolutely no regard to how it affects their children.

Peridwen's picture

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Maxwell09's picture

When I went to Child education classes, we were taught that biting was a sign for frustration. In the context it was taught to me, a two year old will bite another two year old or herself when they cannot express themselves. Is the BM one of those types that lives through her kids or makes them do things that suits them as parents? Maybe the kid is tired of being BM's favorite and is coping with his frustration by biting himself since as you posted he had this oral fixation before. He might just be reverting back to that instead of lashing out.

nengooseus's picture

I do think that skid is stressed. In fact, I have no doubt that he's stressed.

I don't think he's tired of being BM's golden child, but I would imagine that it's very hard to work as hard as he does to please her. And if she's not pleased, I know there are consequences, so it could easily be associated with that.

Honestly, I'm good taking him at his word that he just felt like biting himself... It wasn't hard enough to draw blood or leave a mark that lasted more than an hour on pale skin, so apparently he stopped before it hurt.

nengooseus's picture

LOL, Sally! You're right. Poor, poor, piteous Skid.

I think those are exactly the reasons skid is stressed. And I think it's stressful to have to deal with a BM who's more interested in destroying your father than taking care of you. And filling your brain full of evil venomous crap that on some level you know isn't true, but that you can't won't argue with has to be stressful, too.

So basically, it's stressful to have a horrible mother who treats you like a pawn.