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The ASS Chronicles - T minus 2 days!!!!

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 12:31pm

Scene - master bath, 7:00 am. DH is standing at his sink while Sheba drinks from the faucet. I am at my sink, asking Sheba why she always uses DH's sink and never mine. She doesn't answer.

Me - I see on the calendar that your car will be going to the dealer on Sunday night? (DH got sideswiped in a parking garage)

DH - yeah, gonna be a long day.

Me - Yeah, I should say so. Graduation, packing up my Jeep, driving to MedusaTown and back, then dropping the car off???

DH - yeah, maybe you and DD25 can handle that while I am driving to and from MedusaTown?

Me - sure, I will ask her to pick me up there and bring me home. How's the packing going?

DH - who the eff knows? You know how ASS is, if I tell him to do something, he won't. I DID tell him that he should choose wisely, because he could be certain that he will never see anything he leaves behind.

Me - oh yeah, that is true. I will probably have it repainted by the time you get home - lol!

DH - I know I should be sad about him leaving, but I'm not. It needs to happen.

Me - don't worry about how you feel - I am feeling enough for both of us

DH - it's gonna be so much better around here when he's gone, you know

Me - yeah, I am aware

So, that's it. Nothing exciting to report...tomorrow will be the last night that ASS sleeps in my house. Ever. There is no way that kid will ever "stoop" to returning home. Thank Dog!!!

Comments

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Submitted by CompletelyPuzzled on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 12:43pm

Its kind of sad that ASS is such a pain that no one is sad that he is leaving the nest. If he was leaving in protest and hoping to be missed, he is going to be very disappointed. How exciting that you are so close. At least your DH sees the light.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 12:57pm

it is sad, puzzled, it really is. He brought it on himself, though. When you treat everyone in the house like they are shit on your shoe, this is what happens.

He is back to his online journal (which DH can see thanks to spyware). He actually wrote about how KarateKid treats him like shit now. Uh, what? How about you treated him like shit first, ASS? How about he is only treating you like you treat him.

See? I get worked up over the tiniest little things when it comes to that kid. Let the world give him the ASS kicking that he deserves.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 12:45pm

What is your celebratory dinner Sunday evening. I'm assuming a small piece of salmon for Sheba, but what about you?

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 1:15pm

Sheba prefers chicken, actually. And turkey.

Since DH will not be home until late Sunday night, I will have a tiny celebration for just me consisting of sushi and a nice pinot grigio.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 3:09pm

she used to LURVE her some fish, but in her old age, not so much.

Cats - go figure.....

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 12:50pm

yay, i guessed correctly!!!! the "new" mr. wob is feeling a weight being lifted.

have you decided on a color yet?

purpleflipflops's picture

Submitted by purpleflipflops on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 1:06pm

So ASS is coming here?! Ack. Darn it all!!!!! You better tell me which city.... so I can avoid it as much as possible. Ha ha!

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 1:12pm

Yep - he is headed your way. I can give you the address, if you like, but you already know the town Smile

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 2:05pm

I'm ridiculously jealous of you. I plan on living vicariously through your tales of the new, ASS-free home you'll be enjoying come Sunday! }:)

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 06/03/2016 - 2:13pm

well, it will be ASS-free, but don't forget, BabyVoice will still be around. And also her ukulele.