Update on the wedding weirdness

So just to update you guys on what happened :
After the next morning showdown in the carpark I decided the best thing for me was to head back to my parents and get some head space. Everything was very raw and I was very angry and hurt and I wanted to just get the head together before I said anything else to anyone. I read through all of your responses and I want to thank you so much for helping me - you guys are great

We met up yesterday and had a chat about it. Apparently the wedding dragged up all the upset of the divorce for him again and he went into melt down. The couple who got married are together just a little longer than us and they are getting married and he said it made him feel sad to see them start this new chapter. He is also sad that his kids will never have what he had

I explained to him that we have discussed this before; I have no interest in marriage and have never had one to date. It could change but it probably won't. I have already let one man go before him for this exact fact. And if he wants to get married to someone then I would let him go if that was what he required. Because it would be unfair to do anything else. I also pointed out that just because he married someone else it would nt change the life the kids had now. They would still be not the kids of the other person. They would not feel the same way he does about them.

He then stated that he would only want to get married to protect me and any assets we get together. I am much more shrewd than that and everything like that can be done with a will or by keeping things in my name. I certainly do not think marriage would be needed.

He apologised for letting everything get the best of him at the wedding and said he ended up depressed and drunk and took it out on me. I reminded him as many of you suggested that I am committed to him and the way things are now but stood firm on where the line is on everything else.

So guys - I don't know. I really don't. Maybe this was the worlds weirdest attempt at a proposal but anyone who knows me knows that I have no interest in marriage. I don't want to ever get married to the current best of my knowledge. At the moment all I can do is reassure him my commitment and spell out the boundaries. I don't think I can do much beyond that. But I have to say it has brought up some serious questions for me in terms of what he wants and I want... Watch this space I guess

Thanks again to you all for all your help the other day. I was so upset and just being able to vent and know you guys get it is really important

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Thanks. As I said to him, I

Thanks. As I said to him, I have let others go before and don't want to deprive him of marrying someone if that is important to him. But that's what he needs to decide. I certainly won't be changing any time soon to the best of my knowledge

Honestly still reeling a bit from this reveal. Need to take some time to actually think it over in my head and get my head around it

I went to a wedding for an

I went to a wedding for an older woman (our vicar) marrying for the 3rd time (#1 died, #2 divorced her)the week after my ex walked out on me. Was I sad? Sad that my marriage was falling apart on the rocks? Of course. I was 1 week out of being unceremoniously dumped. But did I take it out on my family? Not once. So his excuse for his craptastic behaviour is just wrong.

What his kids don't get? Go back and marry his ex then. You don't want to get married? Hey, maybe make your world so rocking fantastic you are humming wedding songs. But no. It is about him and his 'fweelings'. Not about "I am so glad my friends are giving this another try." Or "I am so lucky to have what they are having without the expense of a wedding." Nothing that remotely lets you get into his life. It was all about him and how depressed he is. So having you still with him after all the crap is not enough?

Thanks one of four, I did

Thanks one of four,
I did find the reasons bizarre. Especially the one about the kids.
Even if he did marry me:
I would still be a step mom not a real mom and would be taking on no real mom responsibilities. So they would still have separated real parents and nothing would change
I dunno - as I have said to the others I am still reeling from all of this- it has come out of left field for me.
It's always a shock when you think things are going well only to find that all this is bubbling away in other person
At the moment I really am still trying to get my head around it.

Hey sugar Jew I would say I

Hey sugar Jew I would say I am the more practical of us overall. But that also means that if I wasn't here for the long haul I would not even entertain some of the stuff that has gone down.
As far as I was aware up to Thursday evening/Friday morning things were going swimmingly. We had gotten to the point where he understood that my word was my word and this had good and bad effects for him - obv the most recent bad being that when he didn't handle his mother that I disengaged from her and refused to go to a party she was throwing as I won't be bullied.

I still can't understand this behaviour he has shown at the wedding. Perhaps he needs more reassurance I don't know. I can endeavour to give him more now that I know about this. But I am honestly still reeling from this event

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