Good day everybody!
Iam new here so forgive my possible mess ups. I thought as an intro I would start off with my whole situation from my relationship to the stepkids and some things in between. Iam hoping maybe someone out there can give me good pointers as well as just relate with. This could get really long but there is a lot. my apologies beforehand.

Here goes.....

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 7 years now, he has 2 kids from an ex wife, and I have no kids, just my furbaby. Their are some major differences between us that sometimes hinder us and even cause arguments when it comes to his kids. We are about 9 years apart, Him being older than I. We are culturally very different and were raised completely opposite of one another. His ex who is MIA hasn't been around for about close to 3 years, shes Canadian which makes the kids as well. After what felt like decades of crossing into Canada for court issues and visitation/pickups it has all come to an end for now.

When I first met him, he had shared custody he had them in the summer and she had them in the winter. We would drive up to Canada every year, and boy was it exhausting! When I first met his kids they were 6 and 8. Initially it never bothered me because I assumed they both could co-parent and everything would flow from there, WRONG! In fact it was the exact opposite his ex was a disaster in a thousand ways, his kids really disrespectful and I started to feel early on like I was less then. That I could never be anyone special or of value to them because, I was not at all important in their lives.

Of course I understood I wasn't their mom nor did I want that name or role at all. I was just trying to be there and honestly really cared for their father. He and I became best friends literally it felt as though everything came crushing down and it wasn't even because of the man I adored! At times I felt guilty for putting that blame on his kids, after all they are just kids right? I also will say that iam not at all a mom hater, but I have to bring his ex up so many times because it had a direct effect in his kids and their behavior and many issues iam currently dealing with.

Fast forward now a little from the time I met the kids, now we moved in together and his BM was calling to talk to them asking for money (yes even without the kids),even asking to be with her ex, my bf. Going as far as to have her kids say I touched them inappropriately, which is insane and probably got me madder than I had ever been in my life. It was never ending I felt attacked for wanting to be happy, it made no sense. One day his BM decided to come visit the kids from Canada which was fine as long as their was no drama.

The first day she came over she asked to take them out for the day my bf said yes but of course they had to be back before dinner. She claimed she was only going to take them to the park, so they left. Around 7pm they still had not arrived by now my bf and I were panicking we even drove the neighborhoods looking for them, but nothing. By early morning we were calling hospitals and searching anywhere we could go until we made a phone call and found out she took the children to a homeless shelter. So him and I went to see if we could get them out ASAP! The shelter informed us we couldn't take them, despite their father had a place for them, there was no reason for them to be there. So we had no choice but to go home, worried stressed, angry and totally helpless.

A day passed and my bf and I were at home talking to lawyers on the phone when somebody slammed on the door, it was frantic and then we heard screaming and crying. I ran to the door and his son came running in, she had been chasing him partly to our place while bfs daughter got dragged along. She stood at the door and yelled that he go back outside making a scene. Meanwhile the bf stood between her and coming inside, as he was terrified of her. His daughter was being held by her arm and when we called her in his BM said no. The cops were called by her, but this was a Canadian court case it has no validation in the U.S. The cops could only try to settle things but they could not enforce any laws. As being that BM was yelling ect the cops asked her to leave.

Eventually, she went back to Canada with their daughter. About 4 or 5 months passed and we had to go to court again. Canadian courts ordered the kids be returned to her even with cps conducting and investigation of her drug use, after tears and much fight from his son we had no choice. Two months later and we got a call from BM saying she was hallucinating and thinking her cat was Jesus. We were asked to pick the kids up. We have had them ever since. She finally came back to the U.S. said she wanted to be close to them but only saw them 2-3 times in 2 years. My bf and I have only limited info of her currently. The kids are now 12 and 14. They are both coming into their own and really really emotional about everything not relating to their past. Sometimes I feel as tho I'm 60 instead of in my late 20's. This stepmom thing ages you and this is my life!