Not too much exiting these days.
I think everyone has the winter doldrums.

Disengagement continues WELL.
It's GREAT. I love it. The more I DON'T do stuff and DON'T react the better I am.

SD10(stb11) is doing great. I am more engaged with her for the most part because she accepts the situation, is responsible and helps out a lot around the house now. She likes things clean. She's starting to notice that her sister is a slob and doesn't do anything. I think she's getting tired of the bathroom being a filthy mess but doesn't know how to speak up (I'm working with her on how to make sure an adult is told there's an issue). I also mentioned to DH recently that he needs to consider giving SD10 an allowance. ONLY SD10, not SD13...he said, "Yeah, SD13 just comes back with smart remarks and whining when asked to do something. And you always have to ASK her." And that's the last I say about allowances.

SD13 has cleaned her room, at least in some sense (I don't check by going in, just walking by when her door is open), twice since the holidays on her own. She's still collecting dishware in there, and I've noticed DH looking for glasses lately - he's refusing to go to the thrift store to get more. She's making the girls bathroom a total disgusting disaster, so DH continues to clean it. He said that next time SD13 is going to clean it with him. I'll give him $10 if that happens I swear. I need to teach him that cleaning the bath also means putting out clean towels (barf), cleaning out the trash SD13 stashes in her cupboard and cleaning SD10's toothpaste area.

I suspect SD13 may be getting an infection in her jaw. She was complaining last night that her "cheek hurt." She doesn't brush, floss or do anything so it's just a matter of time. She said this at dinner but DH didn't respond at all. I just told her to tell someone if it gets worse.

My latest disengagement thing is removing myself from doing any of SD10's laundry.
She's good about collecting it but terrible about letting anyone know she needs clean clothes even though she likes clean clothes (she has problems asking for help). I had a chat with her last weekend that a) I don't go into her room any longer to check her laundry b) if she needs laundry done she must ask first DH then me if nothing happens - and DH will help her ultimately c) when we get new washing machine I will teach her how to use it and then it's all on her. She understood so I'm sticking by it.

Last night I practiced keeping my mouth shut. DH was complaining that he didn't get to do X and Z yesterday. I said, "Well, you had the SDs today." He basically agreed and that it took ALL his time to take care of them. I was about to say, "Well, they are old enough to take care of themselves so cut back the babying." But instead I nodded and went back to my book.