SORRY FOR THE LONG STORY..GOTTA VENT!!! Yesterday was my SD21 Grad from JC with her associates Degree. I was not going to be able to go since 2 of my bio boys had a campout I had to get them off on. I messaged SD how proud I was of her and that i was not going to be able to be there....she did not respond...SHE NEVER RESPONDS./...The campout ended up being cancelled and we were able to go after all...sooo....My husband and I with SS18, our 3 bio sons, SD24, grand kids 4 and 2 and their bio mom all went. I actually went early...to save seats for everyone. It was an hour drive away and we got there 1 1/2 hrs early to get seats. I have learned with my SD21 that I need to close my heart off since she has ..soo many times, showed me that she really doesnt care for me..and that is hard for me. I have learned, that, to protect my heart, I need to have NO expectations and just relax and go with the flow. That was a long, hard road to get to that point. I love her and would do anything for her..if she asked me to, but she is at a point where friends are way more important than family...at this point. I raised her since she was 8....until she moved out at 17 to live with here aunt. My husband had her move because he did not want to step up and be the disciplinarian////and I had taken that role....because someone had to. He is a softie..and would rather be a "friend" than call her out on her behavior. Since then, the relationship has been strained. A year ago, our family planned a birthday party for her, which she knew about. People were invited, I made hand-made gifts for her, her 3 brothers (11, 10, and made her gifts and cards... and all was well. I confirmed the morning of..and it was all set. UNTIL an hour before, she called and said that she could not come because she was too busy. Instead of cancelling everything, we enjoyed a dinner together as a family and saved her gifts for later. When we dropped off the gifts at her apt, she cussed at me and shared with me how angry she was and how she was tired of me treating her like "shit" My husband was there SS17 and our 3 bio kids....HE SAID NOTHING TO HER!! I just went and sat in the car...of coarse i could not let her see how much that hurt. She texted HIM an apology text for the cussing..but nothing to me. We have not talked since then. She even opted out of our annual family pictures. All I had asked was for her to wear a short sleeved short...instead of a sleeveless....In Short..to her..i am the BAD guy..and I have to just deal with that!! We took the pictures anyways..as we are a family...regardless of whether she wants to join us or not. MOVING ON....So we drove and saved the seats for teh Graduation, sat there for the 3 hour ceremony, cheered for her...and took pictures..and videos. Afterward, we went outside with the other masses of people to try to find her for pictures and congrats, etc...thats what usually happens after Graduations. WE COULD NOT FIND HER. My husband was having a panic attack with claustrophobia and SD was not responding to texts. Their Bio mom was having a hard time walking..and standing for the long time...but we had to find her. It was windy and cold..the Grandbabies were freezing. SD24 finally got ahold of her and she said she was in a building across campus where they were having refreshments. Soooo.....we walked all the way over there...and went inside to look for her. Still could not find her....walked all around in teh masses of people. Sd24 finally found her. She was sitting down in between two of her friend in a group of 5 of eher friends just chilling and drinking a coffee. It was as if she was "hiding out and did not even care that we had come to support her and cheer for her. Her bio mom had long since had to find a chair to sit down, as she has knee and leg issues and asthma....After we found her, she eventually got up, and gave her bio mom a hug..and her dad a hug..again..NO EXPECTATIONS....just maybe hopes...I wasy there, RIGHT???? Not even a nod in my direction or a smile....or thanks for coming!!! She took a pic with her mom and her dad and SD24...we did not get a group photo. I tried to just go with the flow and hold back any emotions....which I was successful at. She acted as if we were intruding on her celebration!! She also did not acknowldege her 3 brothers...13, 12 and 10. SD24 and their bio mom went to have dinner after with th Grandkids....most families do things together after graduations....NORMALLY...SD just stayed there with her friends. My husband and I and the three boys headed to ur car. After I left the building....I lost it..Tears were just there....the hurt, the frustration, the rejection, the sadness,..just came bubbling up to the surface. As much as I try top have no expecttaions...and close myself off....it hurts....because I love here and that wont change, regardless of whether she cares about me. Is that wrong??/