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Happy family BM delusions

I love dogs's picture

I know I've been all over the place this past week.. I don't know if I'm pregnant and the madness continues. BM literally texted my H tonight and asked if he'd go with her to pick SD12 up from the Harvest Festival tonight because they're going out of town tomorrow for the weekend (BM's weekend).

DH tells her "no, we (us) have plans tonight (dinner with friends). Have SD call me when you get back." What does her baby daddy think of these texts? Does he approve of BM playing happy family with DH? Why does DH want to pick SD up from a dance if he just has to take her home to BM and not see her all weekend? This crazy broad wants to play happy family after cheating on him 8 years ago?

Comments

Cooooookies's picture

BM2 has offered for years to play happy family with DH after she cheated on him more than a decade ago.

Because they are mentally unbalanced, they still view their ex as their property. They had a child together so they are forever 'family'. This is literally what BM2 has written to DH in plenty of emails and text. In their minds, your DH is their property and he is supposed to forever do what she says and pine after her and never move on.

BM2 loses her marbles because my DH has told her many times this year exactly where she can go poke it.

They don't like losing control of their property.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Yep, our BM tried the same thing, even though she was never married to my DH. In fact, a while back, she actually sent my DH a love letter and a mix tape. DH and I listened to it and laughed. It was entertaining. My DH actually refuses to go around her alone, because she has crossed the line with him, including putting her had in his pocket during a drop off.

I never worry about it because my DH can't stand BM. He shuts her down. You can only hope that BM will get the hint if your DH continues to shut down any attempts to play happy family.

I love dogs's picture

My dumbass husband thinks that because she's on her manic episode that he needs to let her down softly. Heck no, techno! I told him to shut that spit down and tell her "unless I'm picking up SD to spend the night with me, or she's staying with me this weekend, she can call me when you get back on Sunday".

She hasn't proposed a one:one pick up in awhile so it must really be going downhill with babydaddy for her to feel especially lonely/ generous/ desperate with her precious mommy controlling (visitation) time.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Before I knew what really happened in the divorce (DH whitewashed it, claimed they just "grew apart"), I was told that BM had a vision that we could all still hang out together and have dinner with the kids and whatnot. After watching my mom use that excuse to pop into my dad's life and exert control (imagine walking into your boyfriend's house to say hi to his daughter and there's his ex wife in his kitchen, cleaning out the fridge and bleaching the sink mats. You know,"for the kid".), I literally had nightmares about BM. Just from that one little sentence, I understood way more about how BM was going to view any future relationships that DH would have and what she wanted her position to continue to be in my household. I was right, too. BM actually thought she was allowed to withhold the skids when I refused to let her co-run my home. Sure, sure, call about piano lessons or grades or doctor's visits but you can talk a long walk off a short bridge if you ever call my husband to complain about a paint color I am using in my home. I don't think DH needs to even laugh when he's on the phone with her so he definitely won't be hanging out with BM "family style". She had that chance and forfeited it.

NotMySelfishLazyLoudFatKid's picture

Jesus. That's a horrible thought lol. BM has never even tried to come into our house and she'd never be invited. Thanks. Now I'm going to have nightmares about finding BM folding our laundry. Lmao it'd NEVER happen though. She squirms in my presence as is which is just fine. Wink

momjeans's picture

What Cooooookies said.

BM used to pull this “let’s play happy family” around the holidays, in the beginning. Sadly, DH used to play along until we started dating. He abruptly stopped and BM had a REALLY hard time adjusting to him telling her no.

I’ll never forget the romantic Christmas Eve DH and I were enjoying around the tree in our first apartment together. BM showed-up with skid, very young at the time, and had her knock on the door. When DH answered and refused to let them both in - because BM wanted to crash our evening, even though it was her night to have skid, she tried to bum rush him. Yelling “Look at your daddy! He doesn’t love mommy! He doesn’t love US anymore!”

This. Coming from a habitual cheating BM. Ahhhhh. Good times.

I love dogs's picture

:jawdrop: A true nightmare! Wth is wrong with that woman??

Our BM did that same thing but it was just a normal Sunday afternoon when she showed up with SD, 5 at the time, wanting to "say hi" or drop her off on her time or some BS. She was/ is high conflict so DH just didn't answer the door because she was really trying to meet me whom she had to "approve" of to be around HER daughter. Yes, it's HER daughter, never THEIR daughter until she gets the crazy idea in her tiny, narcissistic brain that they should be a happy family. For SD of course.

momjeans's picture

Total nightmare. She was extremely high conflict in the beginning. Years later, she still has her moments, but very few and far between since we’ve moved away from her town.

DH and I believe she was trying to claim her territory, what she felt was hers, and engage in a physical altercation with me. It didn’t matter to her that skid was there, witnessing all of it. DH was LIVID.

It was the first of many altercations BM tried to pull with me (and DH). DH kept extensive notes, and brought it up in court, but family court wasn’t too concerned with BM’s behavior, shockingly. :O

I love dogs's picture

I re-read your original response and our BM used the "daddy doesn't love US" line too. Many times. Then forced SD to call baby daddy "dad" so their baby wouldn't call him by his first name. Anything to justify their behavior, right?

DH also had no luck in exposing BM's crazy in court. It is literally in black and white but she's mom so give her everything she wants! Mediation was a joke. They tried 2 or 3 times and for what? Too bad those can't be documented because BM said she'd be ok with DH signing his rights away so she could have "peace raising her child". The one she created all on her own. I think she was just trying to bully him into giving her what she wanted which was everything. Thank goodness they never got married! He left with nothing anyway but at least he was spared paying alimony. However, it did screw him on equal visitation because apparently unmarried dads are the scum of the Earth in my state for leaving poor, cheating BM and their kid when he refuses to be abused anymore. Sigh.

Oh and they tried to make it work out of court before WW3 happened and she saw it fit to withhold SD when she didn't want to "deal" with DH and stick to their agreed upon verbal visitation schedule. What a joke.