BM's Stepmom called me yesterday...

BM is some kind of special...

Christmas is coming up quick, BM's stepmom (SS's grandma) is a planner. So we had already made arrangements for them to see SS for the Holidays. Gma asked if they could pick him up on Friday morning, she has her family coming in to town that day, he can spend the day with his cousins, and them. Then Christmas Eve morning BM can go there for breakfast and we will pick him up at 10. BM was invited to be there at 8am. Two hours. That's SS's max with her. I asked SS what he wanted to do, he said "a meal, maybe an hour or so MAX". So that is what we planned for.

So... BM calls for her dad yesterday and he wasn't home, so she was forced to talk to her stepmom (there is certainly tension there, for good reason). BM tells her that she can't wait to see SS and she wants to spend ALL day Friday and Saturday with him. Gma tells her "no, you can come Saturday morning and have breakfast with him, like he requested".

The conversation went something like this:
BM- Well, who is the parent here, me or HIM? He will do what I tell him to do
Gma- Ummm, no you aren't the parent. BSgoinon and DH are, and they have left all of this up to SS, and the JUDGE agreed. We do what SS is comfortable with.
BM- I REFUSE to allow a child to dictate this, I will see him when ever I want to.
Gma- Well, this is MY house, and we will go by what is court ordered. You can come Saturday morning for breakfast. If you want to stay and spend time with the family after SS leaves with his parents, that is fine but this is how it is going to be.
BM- I should be able to stay the night with my child, just like I have every other year of his life (which is a lie, she hasn't had an overnight with him in 2 years)
Gma- That's not true BM, last year we took him out to your place on the 21st of December and we went to lunch. That was it. And, I have no room for you to stay the night here. The beds are reserved for the out of town visitors, you can come in the morning.
BM- I will pull my trailer in front of your house and sleep outside
Gma- The HELL you will. You are NOT coming on Friday
BM- We will see about that. That is MY son
Gma- No, BM, you abandon your son, now you have to play by his rules. And... on Saturday when his parents come pick him up, I will be inviting them inside for coffee. This is my house. They are always kind enough to make sure we have time with SS. More so than you ever did, and I will ask them in. If you can't be civil, you will have to go sit in the back room, or leave.
BM- I will talk to my dad about this
Gma- Go for it.

Ugh.... I hate her.

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Go GSM! Is her brain just

Go GSM!

Is her brain just THAT fried that she doesn't understand that this kind of behavior is why her son can only stand short visits with her?

Don't answer that. It's rhetorical.

Funny you say that, because

Funny you say that, because Dh had a conversation with SS last night about all of this and told him "she may be sober, we don't honestly know. But after you have done hard core drugs for as long as she has, your brain just doesn't come back from something like that. She is never going to be like she used to be. That's not saying she doesn't love you and you can't have some sort of "normal" relationship with her in the future. That's just saying, she's just not the same anymore".

Jebus!!! She's a special kind

Jebus!!! She's a special kind of stupid. She must be back on the drugs.

Obviously her new benefactor

Obviously her new benefactor is helping her with all this. Usually when they are just with other drug addicts, they whine and complain, but don't really care. This new money provider must be really putting a bug in her ear to keep her hyped up about her "parental" rights.

Meth Ex could have cared less about her kids, it was her mother (grandhag) who kept on top of her to get visitation and keep dragging DH back to court. I always wished something would happen to the grandhag, because when she wasn't calling the shots meth ex left us all alone.

Oh... and Gma gave me a few

Oh... and Gma gave me a few more tidbits of info yesterday too.

SS told her that when he still had to go to BM's house (so, this is when he was 12, he is now 14) She would smoke pot with him in the car. Windows rolled UP. And that she didn't care at all what he did, ever. She never checked on him when he was outside (alone, because he didn't know anyone in that neighborhood) and encouraged him to "go find some trouble to get in to, I'm not your dad, you don't have to be perfect here".

And... about a year and a half ago, when BM was living in a tent... she was at a campground in the town her dad and stepmom live in. She knew they were going out of town, so she broke in to their house and stayed there while they were gone. She tried to cover it up, but BROKE several things in the house while she was there, including their vacuum because she tried to clean up after her two large hairy dogs that she allowed in their house as well. She left all the dog hair in it, and left it broken. She also ransacked their drawers looking for money or anything of value. She still isn't sure if BM stole anything. More than likely YES. She just hasn't been able to figure out what, other than the cash that was missing.

She's a real winner.

I wouldn't even let her in my

I wouldn't even let her in my house after that!

Yeah, that argument nearly

Yeah, that argument nearly got her dad and stepmom divorced last month. I think she is a helluva woman for even allowing her to be there for breakfast. She does it for SS. But even then, I'd be hard-pressed not to tell them to have breakfast somewhere else, she's not allowed in my house.

Right. I would meet

Right. I would meet somewhere. That might be tough because of the family in town, though.

“ I will pull my trailer in

“ I will pull my trailer in front of your house.”

Oh my gosh, the BM in my life and the BM in your life have to be sisters. She too was have a trailer that she bought. However, She was so special she got kicked out of the trailer park and then someone stole the trailer. Classic act these two ladies.

Your SM-in-law is a rock star!

It's funny because she is

It's funny because she is always apologizing for "gossiping about her stepdaughter" and saying she feels bad because there was a time that she loved BM as her own daughter (she and BM's dad raised BM after she was getting in too much trouble at her moms and landed herself in rehab at age 14... That's SS's age!). I just tell her "don't apologize, she has disrespected you and your house for YEARS, I get it".

I probably would have just

I probably would have just let her do it and then called the police when she did... But I'm also grumpy.

If not for being unsure what

If not for being unsure what kind of damage that would do to SS, we would take that avenue. He's been through enough. He gets REALLY upset when BM threatens to call the cops on us, and he KNOWS that she has no leg to stand on. It still upsets him.

I would love to have a small

I would love to have a small trailer to have a "me" space. I'd put my favorite books in it and a mini fridge for wine and snacks and my sewing stuff so I could sit in an easy chair and embroider while I watched the rain outside. I'd sew all the pillows and curtains for the inside and get lavender sachets to make it smell nice.

SS is more your son than he

SS is more your son than he will ever be hers. What a winner :sick:

^^^I agree with this.^^^

Thanks ladies. I feel the

Thanks ladies. I feel the same way. Gosh he's cute

Grandma rocks! I hope gramps

Grandma rocks! I hope gramps backs her up.

Gramps wants to hear it from

Gramps wants to hear it from SS's mouth that he only wants to spend a meal with her. He kinda pisses me off. We have never denied SS the chance to see BM when he wants to. Even when she was straight up LOADED, as long as her dad was with her. Why would we start now? WE are the ones that suggested leaving it to SS's comfort level to begin with to the JUDGE. He is so deep in denial about how bad his daughter actually is. I don't know it that will ever go away. It's fine though. SS knows he just has to say "I'd like to keep my visit to breakfast" and they will comply. BOTH of them.

He doesn't want to face what

He doesn't want to face what his daughter is. But when push comes to shove at the breakfast I'm sure he'll side with SS.

He will. You are right. He

He will. You are right.

He did say that he realizes that when she says "SS says he really misses me and really wants to spend time with me" that it was more like she asked him if he missed her and he said "sure". Which is exactly how it happens. She takes any little thing and makes it sound like OHHHH he wants to LIVE with me. **eyeroll** no, he's just a good kid and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

Not surprised by any of this.

Not surprised by any of this. The people who do the least always demand the most, and are the most nervy. I love Step grandma!

#truth

This is so TRUE!!!!!!!!! Well

This is so TRUE!!!!!!!!! Well said.

“ I will pull my trailer in

“ I will pull my trailer in front of your house.”

http://i47.tinypic.com/348sryr.jpg

Oh, you can make light of it.

Oh, you can make light of it. What other option do we have here? Get angry? Nah, she's not worth it.

I used to get REALLY angry. I

I used to get REALLY angry. I mean, my blood would BOIL. But I felt like I was the only one that could see how bad she was. She fixed that one for me. She can't hide her crazy now. In a way, I feel like I maybe should thank her for making it so much easier for me LOL.