Always something
I swear my ex has never read our decree after almost 4 freaking years. He agreed to pretty minimal visitation and then bitches he wants more and threatens me with court. In the spirit of trying to work with him which is pretty freaken hard I offered more time at the holidays spelled it out in an email to him and his wife he accepted.
Last week he emails, I bring it up and he has forgotten he agreed to it and said he would try and work from home. I said just let me know I can figure something out otherwise. BS has not spent the entire day at home alone and is not ready at 10 for that yet.
Today he emails he can work from home but would I be willing to drive the 45 minutes he moved away to the night before to h rop BS off. I said I could do so but would he be willing to bring him back Sunday night since we are each supposed to drive 1 way ( he moved not me).
He sends me this : No, I can't drop him off Sunday night, but I will drop him off Monday night. It's a holiday. yes it is, my holiday.
I sent him this back and no response: I know, it is my holiday, Per our decree I could get him at 9am on Sunday but in my email that I sent you when we initially the email discussing Thanksgiving and upcoming holidays as shown below I offered for you to keep him till 5pm as to not cut short your weekend.
Will you be able to drop him off at 5pm or do I need to drive down and get him, just let me know.
Every holiday he tries to pull something... that or he gives up his holiday. So far he tried to convince me that Black Friday was a holiday in our decree...no Thanks giving is just the day, not a whole weekend and the words black friday are no where in the decree.
My favorite was the time he threatened me with an excerpt that was not even in our decree.
I am thinking of putting together a calendar with the next7 years of holidays on it that corresponds with the decree and sending it to him and his wife... I gotta believe she is the brains in the bunch.
I said to my husband either:
A. He doesn't have a copy of the decree
B. Has copy and never read it
C. Thinks I am stupid and he can screw me one more time
D. Is such a narc that because he thinks it, it is so
E. All of the above
This weekend he had me keep BS so basically he didn't have to drive in snowy rush hour to get BS and then drive back this way the next day because he had to work on Saturday. Told me he would be here a little after 8am. I said ok text me when you are on your way. 10:30 no text no ex... I tell Bs why not call him and see if he is on his way ( obviously whatever he was doing didn't go right... it rarely does, he had texted BS that he was running behind... the kid is 10 and didn't have his phone on him. I ended up finally driving to where he was because I had a ton of things to do and dropped BS off at noon verses the little after 8am that his dad had told us.
Way to much contact for the week for me
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BM over here CLEARLY reads
BM over here CLEARLY reads the decree but magically forgets anything she doesn't like. Odd right?
One thing I've noticed that really helps us is that SO is responsible for the pick up at the start of "visitation". BM is responsible for the return.
We've spoken with the lawyer too and anything negative that happens because BM doesn't fulfill her part of the transportation reflects on her not us. So if the kids miss school Monday morning because she didn't get them Sunday night that's on her.
I think you should do this with your guy because you shouldn't be required to do both ends and in this case it feels like your going to get suckered into doing it.
If your decree allows make him pick up the kids at the start. It's his time he needs to put forth the effort. It's not your job to cater to him. Now he wants to hand 20 bucks your way to pay for your gas then maybe look at something different.
ok, so first, it has already
ok, so first, it has already been 4 years since you are divorced? Wow internet time sure goes fast.
My ex used to play the same games with holidays until I told him we would just follow the court order. That shut him up quickly as I was giving him a full week when he was "entitled" to one day and he was arguing for one additional day (the 23rd which was going to be "my christmas" with my kids that year since they would be with him from the 24th until Jan 2).
They are all the same and the holidays brings the drama.
I usually stick to the decree
I usually stick to the decree to a t. I have been trying to give more time since bs is a little older and quite honestly to avoid court again...We split 4 yrs in march.
Once an asshole always one...I am stupid to expect less.
not stupid, just a good mom
not stupid, just a good mom who tries to do right by her child. Don't worry about court with your ex- he hangs himself over and over with any rope given to him.
My dh has to do all the
My dh has to do all the driving in his CO, its been three years and BM STILL can't get the holiday schedule straight. She either throws a fit about the change in pick-up time or throws a fit about change in drop-off time and deliberately isn't home if it's earlier than she wants. My personal FAVORITE..she forgets all-together and calls DH the day before EVERY holiday asking "who has him?" Drives me up the freaking wall. It alternates every year with maybe one hour difference in drop off/pick up time and she just can't seem to wrap her head around any of it. Sorry you are going through this. And as far as your calendar idea, every.damn.year. I have to buy a calendar and write "V" on DH visitation days and the holiday pick-up and drop-off times for each parent or he can't even keep it straight. I don't understand how grown adults can manage to have a job but something as simple as a visitation schedule is "too hard"... I hope things get better for you!
I write on our calendar from
I write on our calendar from school the weekends and hang it on the fridge. That way BS10 knows what is what and I have weekends and the days bs calls his dad on my Microsoft calender on my phone.
I do try really hard to do what is right for my son, although ex is not exactly the adult male role model i thought he would be when I married him:(.
I am going to do the calender, just not give it to him now when he is pissy.
I hate when he doesn't get his way he just doesn't finish the communication and leaves things in the air.
They are just narcissists and
They are just narcissists and think the world revolves around them.
I once made a calendar on word or something (it was a long time ago) and BM sent DH a pic of it in the trash. She then hand wrote the SAME DAMN CALENDAR and sent it with the kids.
Seriously, if it's not their way, they don't like it.
She sent a pic of it in the
:jawdrop: She sent a pic of it in the trash?! Classy... She sounds like a very mature individual. NOT.
Right. She barely knows how
Right. She barely knows how to use technology either. I swear she doesn't know how to write an email. She can reply but numerous times the skids would tell DH, "Mom is going to email you," and never once has she. Now if DH send one, she can reply.
She's a total idiot.
It is impossible to apparent
It is impossible to apparent with him. Another favorite of mine is when he starts his emails with, I love bs more than anything or he is the most important thing in my life, or there is nothing I wouldn't do for him, But....
I live my being a parent not just when it is convenient. Yesterday I had a migraine, I worked all day, went home forced bs to practice trumpet record his test to upload for the bitchy band teacher, went over homework, made dinner did laundry and made last night an electronic free evening so son hung out with us...got over being a pita thankfully. My ex would never do that...We were lucky he worked and did nothing when he got home. I raised our son when we were married and I do now.
It is not all about having fun and letting them play videogames.
I really like his new wife
I really like his new wife and so does my son. If he ever was like some of these monsters I would bed all over him. He saw how his brothers were and are with me even after I divorced their dad so he knows how to behave.