OT - The Twelve Days of Skidmas

The Twelve Days of Skidmas

On the First day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
An F in American His’try.

On the Second day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Third day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Fourth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Fifth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Five poop-stained skivvies
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Sixth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Six hours of bickering
Five poop-stained skivvies
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Seventh day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Five poop-stained skivvies
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Eighth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Eight chocolate couch stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Five poop-stained skivvies
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Ninth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Nine empty chip bags
Eight chocolate couch stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Five poop-stained skivvies
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Tenth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Ten “Do I have to’s”
Nine empty chip bags
Eight chocolate couch stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Five poop-stained skivvies
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Eleventh day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Eleven empty pop cans
Ten “Do I have to’s”
Nine empty chip bags
Eight chocolate couch stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Five poop-stained skivvies
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

On the Twelfth day of Skidmas,
My skids gave to me:
Twelve broken ornaments
Eleven empty pop cans
Ten “Do I have to’s”
Nine empty chip bags
Eight chocolate couch stains
Seven socks a-smelling
Six hours of bickering
Five poop-stained skivvies
Four dirty bowls
Three burnt toast
Two pissy sheets
And an F in American His’try.

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Anika, I have a retirement

Anika, I have a retirement project for you.

I want you to write a series of books for stepparents with anonymous accounts from here or your life, and I want you to tie fun carols and recipes (alcoholic and otherwise) to each story. Add in some decorating tips, too. Each book would be a different theme, from Christmas shenanigans to food porn (that one could include stories of parents letting their teens have romps in their homes, or finding used condoms stuck to the carpet; it'll need a lot of cocktail recipes).

I've got tons of ideas, and I'm only looking for 5-10% royalties on sales.

Lieutenant, it's veeeeeery

Lieutenant, it's veeeeeery tempting. And seeing as I'll likely be working until 15 minutes before my funeral, why wait 'til retirement?

Stepparents are in serious need of a book with realistic expectations for Step Hell. All of that Disney crap portraying minimal aggravation with the ultimate ecstatic happy ending... you'd think you were reading a damn Harlequin romance. :sick:

While I'm not much on decorating a house (I have my own style that we love), I AM handy at doing temporary decorations/setups for various holidays/themes.

And sweetie, I'd gladly give you 10%.