I know you're on the tight budget--I feel for you!

The first thing Chef did was file bankruptcy after the Girhippo sodomized him sideways with a 12-foot broom stick via the divorce (Chef was left with literally nothing, signed away the house just to get rid of her and she left him with all the marital debt).. but anyways the first thing I would do when humanly possible is to get cams in the house.

Now believe me, a guilty daddy wouldn't believe footage of his own kid breaking and entering but at least you'll know.

This makes me sad for your DD.

Where was the money? Was it in plain sight, locked up or what? How do you know SD knew that you had that much cash at your house and where it was located?

Can you borrow the money from a relative or close friend? If you have no other options, how about starting a "Go Fund Me" and explain that the money was saved for the trip and stolen? (If you go this route, don't accuse SD of taking it.) And for heaven's sake, don't ever leave large sums of money at the house unless you have it locked in a safe to which no one but you and your DH knows the location of the key! Also, I agree with the suggestion of cameras in the house if at all possible.

The other possibility could be that your husband never got the money order and either didn’t have the money or spent it on something else. I don’t know your husband to know how likely it is, but it could be the case if he isn’t that great with money or has some things he is keeping secret from you.

I have had times where I “knew” my sd was lying to me and I got obsessed with it and it fueled how I felt about her completely. There was no way for me to prove that she was lying. Some of those occasions I was later proved wrong, some there was never any resolution and I will never know. If at all possible try to let this go. Do not forget that the money order went missing and be sure to be more cautious in the future (don’t leave large amounts of cash around and don’t advertise the fact that it is there). But do try to move on. There is nothing anyone can do now to work this out and holding on to a grudge will just whittle away at any remnants of a good relationship you have with your sd. I know that it is a lot easier said than done.

I agree with BethAnne that you need to let it go and stop saying that SD stole the money until you have proof that she did. The fact that she's stolen before doesn't help, but it's not proof that she stole the money this time. You have no proof that either your SD or DD's friend took the money. Both of them have been accused and both have had their bags/purses/rooms searched and the money has not been found. Since this was a significant amount of money for you, it should have been under lock and key and not located where either your SD or anyone else could have taken it. I feel badly that your daughter will not be able to go on her trip; was her babysitting money part of the money that was stolen? I also hope your DD's ongoing relationships with SD and her friend are not negatively impacted by the accusations that have been made. But mostly I hope that the money turns up, and quickly.

You have no idea who took the money.

With all the tit for tat between you and your husband, it's possible he lied about the money just to hurt your kid.

did you actually see the money? Are you sure your DH didn't spend it?

If I were you I would take my car title to a quick loan place and try to see if I could get the money that way until I could pay it off. I know you are saying you’re already in debt so you might not get approved; however, I’m sure there is something you can pawn to get the money back. It really doesn’t matter who took the money, what matters is finding a way for your kid to go on the trip y’all already promised her. Also lesson learned, which from your accusations about SD history that you should have already learned, is to trust no one but yourself with your valuables.

You can not accuse some one simply because you can, you have no proof SD took the money, you have no proof DH actually had the money.....
thus you should leave this alone now and get over it.

I'm sorry dear your DD, but the wise thing now would be to tell DD, sorry girl you can't go on this trip we can not afford it, please do not go and get a loan, you are already in debt.

Now you know you don't like SD, and you know how DH treats DD, I remember your prior postings..... you simply open a new savings account in your DD's name and you pay monthly into that account, she can put her baby sitting money in there as well, you make sure you never have to ask DH anything again and you make sure there's no cash in the house to go missing.....

Take this as a learning curve and focus on what you are going to do so that this never happens again in the future, regardless who's telling the truth or who took the money.

We have a thief in our house too. I keep my purse locked in my car, or in my bedroom with me at all times. I never leave any cash hidden anywhere in the house. DH forgets his wallet in the kitchen sometimes, but I think that is a mistake, and he agrees when I say something about it. Killjoy has been caught red handed at least a dozen times, and she never takes responsibility, and she can't seem to stop. She lies with ease. She has also tried to say she thought the stuff was hers.

Given the acrimony in DH's relationship with BM, it wouldn't be the least surprising that SD would steal from someone in your household. Especially considering her prior theft.

Per an article I found online when I had the last straw with Killjoy:

"Stealing is a hostile act, so victims are hurt and experience angry feelings from being robbed. There is general distrust of the person who was thieving. There is anxiety over the possibility of more stealing going on. And there is loss of safety because now everyone feels less secure.
Consider a few common examples of what stealing can be about, and what can prompt it. Stealing from family can be an outcome of envy—jealousy of a more favored sibling who seems to be given more. It can be a lack of impulse control driven by unbridled want. It can be a call for attention, the money or object taken emblematic of desired love. It can be an act of desperation to pay off threatening debts. It can be an expression of grievance, taking what one feels one is owed for some adverse family experience or circumstance. It can be an act of entitlement driven by the belief that family rules don't apply and one deserves to get whatever one takes. It can be an act of aggression, to get back at someone by taking something they value."

Other than being on the lookout for unusual spending, there isn't much you can do about it now. Be more cautious in the future. I go so far as to hide our CC statements and tax returns in a locked room, but you can get a locking file cabinet to hide valuables in. Our BM is a criminal and stole her parents' CCs at this age. She plays MOTY, yet she uses Killjoy as a screen when she goes shoplifting. BM also pulls the "sick" histrionics to get out of accountability for the evil things she does. Your SD's sudden sickness drama is a highly convenient coincidence under the circumstances.

You looked everywhere? Ok, so where was the cash kept to begin with? Money doesn't get up and move itself around. Who knew you were even saving cash and who knew where you were keeping it? I'm going to assume the only answer to this question was yourself and your husband.

However, on a Sunday morning with at least three teen girls in the home your husband announces to the household he is going to the bank to get a money order after announcing to his SD on Friday you guys did indeed manage to save $750 and his SD was going to get to go.

The way you and your husband play 'gotcha' on whose kid is the worst kid and always demand the other's child gets punished (to the delight of the opposite's kid), I'm going to ask as to why it was your husband doing the grand announcement? Why would your husband, the kid's SF who goes out of his way to try and prove your kid is worse than his, desire to save what little cash you two have and just hand it to his skid for some band trip to Disney? Why would he take joy in being the one to tell the girl 'yes, indeed, honey, you do get to go'?

None of it makes much sense to me. I sincerely hope it doesn't turn out to be your husband who either never saved the cash in the first place, or who helped himself to the cash as it would have been only you and husband who knew where you were tucking $750. As you state, the one girl has stolen before, so nobody would be silly enough to just leave cash out and around nor in an easy to hid stash spot, not with a known thief in the home, right?

There's no thief in my home, but my ex used to "forget" things and accuse my eldest of taking things. Finally I'd had enough... bought trail cams (as opposed to nanny cams, because I can use them outdoors, hunting, camping, whatever... ), didn't tell anyone... put them out... my ex shut his mouth real quick next time he came down hard on my son over something that HE HIMSELF took.

I am sorry you are struggling financially. It must be devastating that SD can not go on the trip.

With that said, you have NO idea who took the money. The only thing you can know is if you took it or not. SD could have stolen a million times - it does not prove she stole it this time even though you have every right to suspect her.

I hate to say this, but if you know you have a thief why on earth were you so careless about where you kept the money? This is not victim blaming as I am sure someone will jump on, but why wasnt the money kept somewhere safe in the first place? (Does it actually matter ..? No it wont bring the money back, but please be careful next time with such a valuable resources.)

Have a phone conversation with someone (or with a dead phone! ) with SD within earshot, about how you had really meant that money as a suprise for the kids... like a new puppy or something... and that you're SOOOOO sad it's gone because it means no puppy.... or whatever else they want... surprise trip to Disney world... whatever.

somewhere dh can't hear you

somewhere you can say that you just wish the money was magically back where it was so you can give the puppy to the girls...

see if the money comes back....

deny everything to dh