First a step back...I cannot make this stuff up.

Remember I was having a terrible time making sure the dang screen stayed on the bathtub drain in the SDs bathtub, that someone kept removing it? And I told DH that it was ALL on him at that point - I did end up permanently putting a screen in about a month ago though - that any issues HE'D have to solve on his own?

WELL. The other day...
DH: Um, I need to talk with you about an issue with the SDs bathroom.
Cover: Oh no, what now? (thinking it was the toilet b/c that's got legit issues and we're replacing it soon)
DH: The bathtub won't drain. There's water in it.
Cover: What? For how long?
DH: A couple days.
Cover: DAYS? Let me (...starts to go down there...DH stops Cover)
DH: Don't go check.
Cover: Oh, yeah. This is YOUR problem. You likely need to call a plumber.
(thinking it's probably worse if he really, really doesn't want me to look)
DH: I have to bail it out don't I?
Cover: Yes. You can also try Liquid Plumber, but I think that won't work. You could snake it yourself (then let him know he could go to hardware store).
DH: OK. How'd this happen?
Cover: Are you KIDDING? HAIR AND MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF HAIR CONDITIONER = hard plug.
...remind him he needs it fixed by Friday b/c SD12's birthday party is Saturday.

He also asks SD12 how long has she noticed slow draining...oh, a long time! But you know, SDs never, every say anything.

Today's update: DH is home and should be fixing it, but you know what? I'm not asking or saying a WORD. Basically Cover called it - again.

Then DH says, SDs can use our shower.
Cover: That's fine for now. They need to ask first and make sure it's left EXACTLY how they found it, cleaned up.
DH: Of course they will!
(says this completely w/out irony)
Cover: Hysterically laughing...because DH, they always clean up perfectly and that's how we got to this situation in the first place?

His one good deed:
DH and I sit down to eat dinner, literally. We haven't even picked up our forks yet. SDs have already eaten.
SD14 runs over to the table, sits down and leans across into DH's space...
SD14: Daddy! I need to tell you what I found out about High School I want to go to!
Cover: Silent, looks down at her plate, prepares to pick up plate and walk out of room.
DH: SD14, I JUST sat down to eat my dinner. I also want to talk with Cover. Go do X that I told you to do earlier and I'll talk with you later.
SD14...slinks away.
Cover: Cannot hide smirk and joy.