I have delt with this woman for 11 years. I have seen it all and herd it all. Name calling, you'll never see your kid again, nasty comments about MY husbands hair cuts or clothing ect...ect.. and just think they were never married. I am his first and only wife, but they had a child together. So in the courts eyes on paper it reads in the matter of the marriage of for all child support documents. I tried to be nice to the ex-girlfriend same as the rest of you and it is really hard to be nice to such a fake person.
I love my SD with all my heart and we have a great relationship. She is now 10 years old and feels guilty about her feelings for me. Why? Because her mom won't allow her to wear clothing bought from our family or have any pictures and she told my SD that she is to never call me mom and that is because I am stupid.
My husband and I have two baby girls ages 2 and 3 years old. We also have my son who is 15 from a previous relationship. Since the birth of the girls I can't find it in my heart to be kind to this woman anymore. She told my SD that the girls are her HALF sisters and stressed that she is to refere to them as HALF sisters. Also she told me in a nasty reply e-mail (where I had kindley asked her to send the medical bills promptly instead of chalking them up for 6 months) that to keep my f****** nose out of it and my children are nothing more than a bi product of their previous relationship. (her and my husband). I have had many fights with my husband an nearly got divorced over his not going to ruffle her feathers attitude. He would meet her for drop offs and they would have lunch together and he was talking to her alot on the phone and told me I was jealous of their friendship. The only thing was I wasn't included in the friendship. I didn't think he cared about my feelings and how I couldn't stand there and watch this woman degrade my husband and my children and my life.
Thank god for myspace. LOL! She has a blog now where she tells everyone all about everything and you bet your sweet cheeks that I am getting a good idea of how she really is. One word Nasty! She tells all. When she has sex, takes a shower, complains about my SD, it's something else. So now that I can view this stuff I call my husband into the room so he can see for himself the things I have had to deal with. She wrote a blog last night about Him. It was hairy and full of lies about him never paying child support and his daughter has to go with out everything and she was his FIRST born and so on just one big pitty party!
Here is the thing. My husband owes $2,000 in back child support from when he lost his job during 9/11. He is paying it back through his check. We recently put our house up for sale and she has a lien on the property. She doesn't want the monthly installments on the back support anymore she wants it all at the closing of our house. This is fine and I wish she would have just told us that instead of posting it on the internet and suggesting that if she wanted to she could put my children in the street and she could force them to live in poverty. My god...all the power she thinks she has just boils me over! I am tired of crying and felling so helpless. This woman has my babies and my husband on her tongue when ever she wants and it hurts me to the core. I won't allow her in my house around my children anymore and I want to ask that my husband meet her somewhere in town for pick ups and drop offs but I don't know if he will do it. I truley hate her and will this ever end?

My husband divorced his wife 3 years ago and she blames me for the demise of her marriage. The truth is, the marriage was over before it began and by the time my husband initiated his intent to divorce, she announced her pregnancy. My husband decided to stay until the baby was born and filed for divorce. That's when I entered the picture....The bottom line is she is a miserable person, mean, introverted and has no friends. Unfortunately their son who is 3 1/2 is now telling me 'mommy doesn't like you.' Now, my husband is recommending counseling with him as he is only concerned about the negative impact on their child and he wants her to hear firsthand, what this can do to a poor innocent child. Are there any books or articles out there that anyone can recommend on how best to deal with one's ex-spouse's spouse and the impacts of feeding children with negative information has on a child? Any help is much appreciated!

I have a story for you all! Gosh where to start isn't that amazing! Ha! I have very similar thoughts as you guys. I am just shocked about all the stories I've read. I have been together with my man for 3 years now and we just got married. He has been communicating with the X for his son since I met him and it has been so dramatic. She is jealous, retalliates, tries to make him lose his only son, and constantly trying to screw him over w/ child support, flips us off when she sees us and plays all sorts of head games and purposely is late on pick ups. Tries to put evil thoughts into my husbands head about me, calls and harasses him constantly, tells the kid bullshit lies all the time, and is into drugs, nocked up 2 other times by previous man. Funny thing is he says he is used to it and has no umph anymore about even fighting with her, he's like emotionally dead about it and almost loses sight and doesn't care after a while to where I feel he would lose his son. She uses him as a pawn, the lifestyle is way outta line, and I feel so bad for my step son he's the one that is gonna hurt the most outta it all. She badgers his son for information just to use against him. Tries to pry into our life constantly. She seems to me that she has nothing better to do but be dramatic in her own little miserable head that is so gone about whatever is that she smoked away and needs to seek serious mental illness help! Catch my drift.. Can someone possibly be so low to the ground like that that they have to try to bring everyone to her level! When it only makes her look like a bug that needs to be squished!! Don't know what my husband ever saw in her but dam makes me really wonder if he's any better...hmmmmm Good point ladies? He seems as though he has learned really bad behaviours and relationship skills from this, trust BIG ONE, self esteem, anger, resentment, no romance, sometimes he just sits like a bump on a log in some dream land off somewhere, I think that he doesn't know how good he has it and I don't know how much I can tolerate this situation people, its wearing on me A LOT , when to call it quits!?? Do I deserve this situation just because I'm with him, I married him , not his past problems, any suggestions on what i've said here cause women i'm sure you know where I'm coming from, I feel sometimes I would be better off with out him just to have PEACE for the sake of me and my kids. There are so many fish in the sea and if you are willing to put up with this bullshit for however long it takes then you can't get upset over it and deal with it, but if you can't GET OUT NOW you don't deserve this drama in your life! Thats what I'm battling, the stay or Go feeling, constantly fed up with this nonsense! Think to yourself is HE really worth the head ache his past brings to you and makes your relationship suffer, until the child/or children in the home is old enough to take care of themselves..?! Advice from anyone.. greatly appreciated.

My boyfriend of 4 years has been divorced for several years. Needless to say his X-wife hates me. We live about 5 miles from his X. He hasn't asked me to marry him yet but we have discussed it over the years. Here's the problem - my boyfriend is terrified to tell her that we will be getting married. His greatest fear is retaliation from his X-wife and using their son as a pawn. Additionally, he is fearful that she will move closer to her brother as a result- which is 50 miles away from us.

The truth is, she is still in love with him. Any advice on how to handle this?

I just found this site. For the longest time I had been thinking it was just me. My husband was married for 12 years to a woman he says he was never happy with. They had a son. My husband pays $960 a month support. I think that is allot, but he does it. The mother still calls him a deadbeat. We were decorating for Christmas at my in-laws and she calls to ask for directions to take their son to an Ice Cavern. I was annoyed. Was it wrong of me to get annoyed? It isn't like she doesn't have friends or mapquest, that can tell her where to go. Then she spends an hour on the phone with my father-in-law to tell him how upset she is with my ex because he gave her the news of wanting a divorce the day before Thanksgiving. That was over 3 years ago and it was just this past October that she did that. What do I do. I get so mad that I want to leave....

You are all just seconds.

Grow up send the men back where they belong.

Any woman who dates a man that already has(had) a wife and kids is breaking down society.

Men (while there are some good ones out there) tend to wander and stray. But on the whole they have a harder time than women being faithful.

If women stuck together a little more and refused to sleep with or date men who already have families things would be much better.

You all have good reason to be jealous. We were there first.
We have the right ...And you .....do not.

So move on to someone that doesnt already have a family.

ATTENTION ANONYMOUS
I am sure I have read your spiteful comments here before, as well as many comments afterwards telling you where you can take your thoughts, and stick them up very far!!
My question is WHO THE FUC DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Or perhaps you have been left by your 1st and he is happily married with his second without looking back??? What's wrong you can't handle it??? Find a site for first wives then BITCH! And so that your ass can burn a little more....I happen to be the third "wife" in The first wife was a slut who cheated on her husband more than one time resulting in an abortion because she didn't know who the father could be, and the second wife could was not what most would call "sane" . Thank god for me, x#2 was smart enough to find the help she needed to go on to raise a healthy child to date, and overcome blended family issues to make sure OUR FAMILY succeeds!!!!! Ya that is right, not my most favorite family member but there it is, the x is part of my family now!! And by the way, I am also a bio who gave my husband the children he can raise at home 24-7, a happy marriage and a happy life, without worry of a cheating vindictive bitch taking his child, his money, and his happiness away!

So final question....is there anything good in your life today? I am guessing not!!!

SIDEKICKS UNITE

I have sat and typed many things here in the last couple of weeks and not posted...therapy for myself maybe, but true feelings none the less. What I have finally come to after it all is this....life happens, shit happens, and your life is what you make of it. Should you choose to get married, i truly believe when you say I do, that is I do choose to be loyal to you(the one you marry) should you choose to have a child with someone, you choose to be loyal to your child...with that comes loyality to raising a happy child regardless of the situation that results afterbirth. Should you choose to be with someone other than you child's parent...that person should choose should be willing to be a parent to your child, reality says they will not suffer from more love. I have.... I have chose to marry a man with two children, I have chose to accept my ss's mom'S will be a part of my life for the rest of my life, a part of my family...like it or not. And now even the family member I don't speak to!!! I have chosen this...I have chosen to love these children as my own...amung many others..my best (singlemom's) friends children who think of me as more than "an aunt" my relatives who rely on my for support....WE ARE FAMILY that is it...THAT IS LIFE when you choose to join a family. And let's face it, when you choose to be with someone with kids....we are joining their families....not breaking them, even building a stronger family but none the less we are becoming part of a family. Our children are innocent blessings that in the end will make our world! Shouldn't we be giving them the best we can???????????????? Even if it means we all get along????????????

I need some advice...here's my story...

I am 24, and have been married for over a year and a half to my husband who is 30. When we met he had a daughter who was nearly 3 years old and I had a daughter who was 2 1/2. We now have been together for 3 years and his daughter is nearly 6 and mine is 5 1/2. We have a 9 month old baby girl together who was born last June as well. Anyways, Last July (when our daughter was 1 month old) my husband cheated on me with his daughters mother (his ex fiance). He told me he was going up to his boss's cottage for the weekend and he is a terrible liar and I basically confronted him when he got back to see if that was where he really was. He was actually at his Ex Fiance's house all weekend and they had sex 4 times over the course of the weekend. My husband hadn't even reached our 1 year anniversary yet and our baby was only 4 weeks old...I was completely crushed to say the least.

My husband went back and forth for a week saying he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay with me or get back together with her...etc etc. Then finally decided that he wanted to stay with me (I basically said you choose or you get out NOW).

Anyways...it has now been 8 months since this has happened and the circumstances have changed quite a bit in that time. His ex ran out and met some guy off the net 3 days after she slept with my husband and she just got married to that guy a few weeks ago. So his ex is now married, which you would think is a good thing. She just drives me absolutely crazy...I can't stand it anytime my husband has to talk to her, even if it is just about his daughter. I get angry at myself because I want to trust him, and he has done nothing over the last 8 months except try to prove himself, but I just CANNOT get rid of that feeling.

I don't want to get too hopeful about my marriage in case that he will do something so devestating to me again. My heart was literally crushed and I just cried for weeks every time I saw our new born daughter. I hate his ex and he seems to roll over and do whatever she says. In which most of the time she orders the most ridiculous things, and she is always trying to get rid of her daughter when it is her scheduled parenting time. She is vindictive and just plain cruel. She threatens people, and plays her daughter as a pawn to get what she wants. She uses her to get to my husbands heart and makes him give in. When it seems all she wants is my husbands attention for herself. I can read right through her.

It was hard enough dealing with her BEFORE he slept with her 8 months ago, now I am finding it even MORE difficult and I love my husband very much and want everything to work out! I just don't know how I can handle the next 12 years of this nonsense and her disrupting our marriage!

I need to know what to do about my husband's ex wife. He has three children from her and they live over 13 hours away from us. We only been married going on 11 months. It's like I don't know if I can take this drama with his ex. She want things on her terms and don't want to compromise with my husband. She thinks because he has a wife he should be able to travel, and give money outside of child support when she wants. I haven't met his children yet, because we haven't had the funds to go and get them and it's been hard. I want to meet his children one day soon. His ex would call him and text his phone with nonsense, or calling me out my name. I stated to my husband starting now that he shouldn't answer her calls, or text but allow me to communicate with her so this confusion can stop. Can someone help me understand because I didn't think it would be this hard being with a man who has children outside the marriage before me. I told my husband this can really affect our marriage whether he believe it our not.

I find this so amusing, that nearly each one of these posts paints the EX to be crazy and evil all the while the poster is normal, sane, and innocent. HA.
I am the "crazy ex" and my husband has a "crazy ex". Come on ladies...get out of denial...it comes down to jealousy and insecurity and loss of power. The ex still has some pull over your man and we can't stand that! We don't like the ex getting snappy or demanding of OUR men and how it imposes on our happy life and finances. The way the ex's seem to think THEIR kids should take PRIORITY over ours and how OUR man should bend over backwards just ticks us off, but it's all about being jealous and selfcentered. Something women are great at. The evil ex RAISES the child and sees that child as THEIR child and just who are we or the husband to THINK we know best for that womans child cause all we do is give money and have the kids on a visitation basis. We are on the other end of the spectrum behaving the same way about our own kids. It's easy to pick apart the EX, but because our lives get interupted by them wanting their way(our selfcentered behavior) we get on the " crazy ex wife soap box". It's like oil and water....new woman is insecure about the old woman..." Ex woman is picking apart the new woman...sizing her up laughing at the "loser" the new man has.It's all INSECURITY. No one wants to see the GOOD that was what attracted the exes together in the first place, because the good makes us scared that if we acknowledge it MAYBE our man secretly feels the same way and what if we are not as good as the ex...blahblah blah,so it's easy to paint her as a psycho and remind your man all the time of what trouble she is and how crazy she is....it's the thing little girls in school do when they are jealous of the other good friend that your best friend has...they SABATOGE....some/ most never seem to grow up out of that. Nearly everyone has attractive qualities whether they are physical or personality....get over it!! She's a person...your a person and your resentment only hinders your relationship with the step kids and your husband and yourself. You can't be happy if your hating someone.
The best thing you can do for your own happiness is GET OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF IT...let the husband deal with the EX WIFE...it's their kids...HIS responsibility, and stop trying to control your man...he's in the bad position because he has 2 ticked off women coming at him...he's afraid to move....Let him deal with it and if it's UNREASONABLE then discuss it with him. He laid down and got her pregnant.....we didn't. We all need to learn to take our place...only then can we stop being in bondage to this hate that destroys our happiness and family!

I do hate the ex-wife - she's a waste of oxygen who should never have had a child!

Here are a few reasons why...she takes her vacations WITHOUT her daughter 'cuz "she needs a break", the whole reason why you go down South (to vacation) "is to get laid and you have to have a different bathing suit for every day you are there", she bribes my boyfriend with money if she has something to do and wants him to look after their daughter, she has been heard to say she can understand why some people want to kill their kids, need I go on?

She is manipulative, very ignorant, self-centered and the sad thing is...her daughter is picking up these traits - and she's only 6!

When i first came to town, my now husband was divorced to the ex, and separated for over 2 years. The ex ranted around the whole church that i was the woman he had had an affair with, i didn't even know hubby then as i lived on the other side of the USA!, this was her 1st plea for sympathy and attention.

From day one she has tried her ploys and her tricks to make me and my hubby break up, 3 years ago we did break up and within 2 weeks she tried her hardest to win him back to no avail.

We share custody of our little boy of 8 years, he is the only reason we deal with her and her plots to make me miserable.
The weekends are when the real fun starts (to her anyway). When we pick up our son she once didn't wear a bra in her van and when hubby tried to help our our little boy from the van she bent over purposely to make sure my hubby got a good view of her boobs, i nearly threw up.

She loves to give us intimidating looks so we started pulling up the car at least 5 feet behind her car when pulling up but she caught on quick and ensured she had her hand on the driving stick to do a swift reverse or a desperate 360%degree turn.

I wish she would move away and leave us alone, she has told more lies than in a dictionary, even her own Pastor said in a public church address "If we sent ****** to the Iraqi war she would probably win it", this sent off some snickers in the audience including me because he was right........he knows......in a strange but true way he knows........

I am reading this form and realizing "hey i am not alone",

Its good to vent to people that you can trust, here i can trust all i want, my name is anonymous, my call isn't on anyones caller id, my conversation isn't at the local coffee house to go back to their sister in law and then back to the ex which is the norm for us. Any type of venting on our parts has always got back to us somehow.

Like people keep telling me "hang in there", your hubbby's ex is just a miserable soul, she has no one, no one wants her, every relationship she has had in 4 years has lasted no more than 2 months or a week, guys just can't handle being yelled at like they are being yelled at from a woman that sounds and looks like a lory driver from the louisianan swamps that walks and talks like a lory driver.

I hope our boy grows up ok, he is only 8 and sadly i already see him talking loud and obnoxious like his mama, i hope he stays the gentle way he is and has the courage and the ambition to leave this miserable wench some day.

My husband and I have been together for 16 yrs. It has been a long and strenuous struggle most of those years after I learned thru a hang up call that he was cheating and she was pregnant while I was pregnant too. This happened after 4 years of dating and eventually moving in together and buying a house. I was 8 months and she was nearly 7 months pregnant. This other woman was a friend on his sister, only 21 and repeatedly came to my home while I worked at night. I have two other children from a previous marriage and they , thank god, did not interact with her because they were very late visits. Apparently, this woman and my then boyfriend continued on every then and again (I never did get the whole story because it kept changing) and I was played a fool of by everyone. Everyone knew but me towards the end. I ended the relationship for a short time, but he begged and begged for forgiveness. We continued to work on the relationship and after the birth of his other child things became even tougher. She sued him for support which she totally had the right to do, I would have done the same. He pays 650 monthly, always has, still does, and provides medical coverage. He is court ordered to do so. So after the years of no contact with her or the child, which he never wanted to begin with, I contacted her to try to set up a meeting. I thought it was the right thing to do. Her and I talked on and off. You know that saying keep your friends close and enemies closer? She eventually wanted more child support, demanded it, at first we agreed and then found out his rights; she is now fully employed, has a second side job, married, etc. We told her no. She now seems to think he has to fully support the kid, etc. She is a homewrecker, money grubber and always wanted to be a part of his family. Everytime we hear from her I get sick because its always about money. She even reported a false report against me and that was the last straw. Women like her are wannabe's. These women want what they see, they set out to get it (anyway). They act as if they are some one they are not. I feel deeply sorry for the kid who is basically the black sheep of the family. I have always been even minded but when it comes to her, I try to stay a step ahead. You have too! If you are a woman, who has been cheated on and stayed with your man, who has to deal with a homewrecker; I wont even call her an ex, she is not, just used for sex..toughen up, get smart, always think ahead and for god's sake put your own money away! By the way, she is a total slut. Not only did she sleep with my husband, but with my husband's cousin, her current husband and his brother, my husband's friend and some dude immediately after she gave birth. Total LOSER and HOMEWRECKER!!!!

My husband has the ex-wife from hell! She is fat, lazy, and ugly. They had three kids together and the kids are the same. She has no morals and uses her kids as pawns to hurt my husband. She tells the kids I'm nothing but the babysitter after I bathe, feed, and clean their clothes. The day of our wedding we went to pick the kids up and they had rub on tattoos all over their arms, neck, and face. She has her own business, so she lies about her income and we have to pay more child support. She makes the three kids sleep on the floor next to her bed because she says she can only afford a one bedroom apartment because "daddy" doesn't pay enough child support. We have gone to court three times to try to get full custody but the courts are biased towards the mother, even a bad one. The oldest daughter is now 17 and "good-time" mom buys her cigarettes, beer, and has let her drop out of high school. There seems to be no justice in this world. I have suffered much these last seven years. Oh, I forgot, she knows I hate the smell of smoke, so naturally when we pick the kids up for visitation they reek of smoke. So bably, she would have had to blow it all over them for hours. What kind of mom is that? We wanted the youngest to go to a private school. She said okay as long as we buy everything. She won't even buy him a pencil. I have never known hate until I met her, and I had never known evil until I met her. Anyway, thanks for the vent. No one really understands until they go through it. My Christian friends tell me I need to love my enemies. I tell them....try it! Have YOU ever really had an enemy?

I HAVE BEEN WRITING NOW FOR OVER 1 HOUR TO ALL OF YOU AND TOLD YOU MY STORY BUT SOMEHOW I CLOSED THE BROWSER. I GUESS IT WAS MEANT TO BE. I EXPERIENCED LESS AND MORE WHAT ALL OF YOU GO THROUGH. BUT AS JUST MY BROWSER CLOSED I GUESS IT IS NOT WORTH HER... REALLY IT IS NOT. TAKE A REAL CLOSE LOOK AND HER AND YOUR LIFE. COMPARE. MEN REACT DIFFERENTLY TO US AND I BELIEVE THAT THEY SUFFER AS MUCH AS WE DO AND MORE. THEY DON'T WANT THEIR HOME TO BE ATTACKED. THEY WANT TO SEE HAPPINESS AND TRANQUILITY. I WAS SO TERRIBLY UPSET YESTERDAY BUT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT ALL OF THIS SHE IS TO BE PITTIED WHICH IS THE WORST FEELING YOU CAN HAVE TOWARDS ANYONE BECAUSE THERE IS NO HOPE IT'S LIKE A TERMINAL DISEASE. VERY SAD THAT WE CANNOT GET ALONG. BUT THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HONESTY AND TRUST IN THIS SITE. IT REALLY HELPED ME THIS MORNING AND I DON'T FEEL ALONE ANYMORE. AND MY STORY WAS GOOD MAYBE TOO GOOD?

My husbands ex just took us back to court for more support. But not before we did a DNA test. SS is not my husbands, but since hes been his father this long(10 yrs) he still has to pay. Welcome to North Carolina!!!
She calls constantly wanting my hubby to get off of work and come to her aide when shes having problems with SS. I not so politely told him no!!! When SS asked who his real father is she told him she was drunk and don't remember. What kind of a mother is that????????
To top it all off, she grills him every weekend (SS) on where we went, how much money we spent, etc.
I just read one womans post and if I understood her correctly, she said she was sleeping with her ex- husband that was about to be married. What kind of a monster are you?? How would you feel if it was done to you?? Regardless of you having his child, you have no ties to him whatsoever. Furthermore, if I was the fiancee, you probably would be completely out of the picture until you learned that that type of behavoir is unacceptable. All I can say is that the ex in my world knows that there is a new @#$%^ in town and its not her!!!

my husband and i have been married 2 times , the first marriage his son and his ex caused me so much pain, ex always showing up at family's house, she didn't want to be in the family, slept with his brother and his friends, didn't let him see his kids for 8 years and the when she found out we were getting married she dumped the kids in our yard, we ended up divorced for 4 years and now have been remarried for 12, you better believe she better know better than to ever show up where iam , i will never be disrespected again, i will never let my oldest step son cause me trouble again either, i will never go to his house and i don't have to

I dislike my husband's ex too. When my now husband moved in with me, I invited his ex to my home so that she could see where her son stayed every other week-end and meet me, the person who often cared for her toddler so that his dad could study. She called me every name in the book. Then her three-year-old called me a skanky c#nt. I could not believe it. It has only gotten worse. This past summer, my step-son refused to touch me because, according to his mom, I have "germs." She has taught him that I am "a sinner" because I am not Christian, and that Hitler should be admired. This is after I though I was beginning to break down the wall of lies she has spun to prevent her son from liking me. She has done at least 75% of the things other spouses who married a divorce have stated above (lied about child support, denied visitation, travels without her kids & without telling anyone where she is in case of an emergency, denies phone visitation, etc.) I dislike this woman because she is mean--to me, my husband, and unwittingly, to her son. Because of her, the son has been unable to meet his great-grandparents or any of my husband's family besides my husband's parents. If she would just act rationally--in the child's best interest--I would respect her. I don't want her to like me, that is asking too much. Similarly, I don't think I will ever like her. But, if she promoted a relation between her son and his father and to stopped trying to poison my husband's son against me, him, and my extended family, I would respect her. She had a hard childhood and her life is not easy. i know that. I just can't stand the hatred. It poisons everything!

Things with my husband got so bad that I bought my own house!!! I now live separately with my girls----away from his children (4) and his demonic ex's continual influence and interference. She continues to manipulate him and he willingly takes it all. It is hard to respect a man that is so spineless. He is so worried that he will lose his kids. Yet he has truly lost their respect and I could not stomach watching them disrespect him on a continual basis (with her thoroughly egging the kids on). Moving on to my own home was the best solution. Now he is at my house sans children when they are away and I can focus on my girls, who I want no where near the influence of such immorality. It is clear to me that he is simply biding time until they are raised and he can move on. very, very sad.

I am both an ex-wife and a step-mom. As for my ex-hubby, we get along okay and keep the hatred and bad memories to ourselves. I get along with his new woman, and I assure her that I NEVER want my ex back and this boosts her confidence in their relationship and with our children.
As for my new husband (DH) and my wife-in-law (BM), they were okay for awhile. I would set up most visits, scheduling, appts, etc... for their daughter (my SD). While we were dating, they did fool around once and he even moved back in with her for the summer! I didn't have any insecurities about her until that happened, but the cheating and brief break-up served a greater purpose. It made me appreciate my new husband, and respect him and his prior relationship for the sake of my SD. I even tried to make amends with the BM and become "friends", just to make things easier on everyone. She assured me that her feelings for DH had ended and that there was absolutely NO attraction to him whatsoever. Hmmmmm...
A mere day passed after we had announced our engagement, and I was being threatened, demonized, and verbally assaulted by the ex-wife. She said I had better be prepared for an ass kicking! She demanded that I stay away from her and their daughter unless I wanted to have my face rearranged! Further, it was only a month after our wedding that she filed for sole custody and claimed DH was a drunk driver, a drug addict, physically abusive, a convicted felon, etc... and that I was psychotic and abusive toward SD! (none, of which is true) Without an attorney and no money to retain one, my husband stammered through each hearing and motion review, trying to counter all of her lies and deceit to a judge who wasn't interested in listening to a pro se litigant. Needless to say, she won full custody and has terminated all contact between SD, my DH, and me. No visits, no phone contact, not even pictures!
Although we continue to file motions and request new hearings, it has been to no avail. We've tried to request help from court services, CASA, and social workers, but they all side with the ex. Kudos to my wife-in-law for putting on one hell of a show! My DH says he will wait until SD is 18 and then he will resume contact. In the meantime, SD thinks that DH hates her and BM doesn't hesitate to feed into that.
I am scared for how my SD will be as a teen and adult! She's only 8 now, but given the separation from her father, the BM's permissive parenting style, the "alternative lifestyle" BM now claims to have and BM's renewed interest in drugs, alcohol, and the bar scene, I can only imagine what sort of young lady SD will grow up to be. IF anyone has older step-kids who have been through this already, is there any reassurance out there for this worried step-mother?

I loved my ex-wife. But we did so much damage to our relationship, it became irreparable. She and I are angry with each other, because the breaking point came to past and we did nothing to save it. We have 2 children together. I plans were to spend to the rest of our lives together. But because of pride and immaturity, we both left voids in our hearts.
I since remarried and has move forward with my life. The marriage caused me problems with my children, of course. They have taken the road to not speak to me anymore. And a part of me is ok with that, for I believe that God will intervene with this present situation and reopen the door on the kids and I communicable relationship. Although, the other part that I shield from my new wife, I'm saddened that I can't hold on to the closeness that my kids and I had when I was still married to there mother. But as the saying goes, " Time moves on".
I have chosen not to talk to my ex-wife. She has not been a friend of mine. She hasn't made the transition easy. And maybe it isn't suppose to be easy for either one of us. But since this life is temporary and that each second of a day is questionable, I'm choosing to live for a pursuit of happiness. My new wife has shown me how to do just that. The saying, "You only live once and you're not coming back", is a living testament of my decision making in this life. And as much as I hate to admit it, but leaving my ex-wife was not due not loving her. That is the reason I chose to stay in the marriage for as long as I did (14 years), when after 7 years, I saw that the marriage was doomed. My reason for leaving was, we stop growing together. Sex became ultimately important to sustain. We stop talking. We were strangers in our own bed. And as hard as it was for me to vacate this life I had became so comfortable with, leaving caused an I immediate sign of growth. I receive a promotion from my employer, my parents and I reestablished a wholesome relationship and I found a true love in my life. So as much as I can say, "I hate my ex-wife for not fighting for our marriage", I can also say, "I love her for choosing not to fight, for the betterment of our lives and allowing us to grow".
I thank you all for listening.

I've been dealing with the same kind of crap everyone in this site is dealing with. It is really sad to say that these exes doesn't know the meaning of the word "moving on" or even have the slightest idea that their marriage had ended for a reason. Whether it was their fault or their partners fault; the fact that they got divorced simply mean one thing; the relationship wasn't meant to be. They can't accept the fact that their ex will somehow, sometime find a replacement for the love that had lost in their lives. Why they can't just be happy and find their own happiness too. I can't believe there's a lot of people who experienced this kind of problem. I've been an ex too but I've never been a problem to my ex-husband. Before he remarried, he even asked me how's that going to affect me and I told him I'm happy for you. We got divorced because it didn't work out and I had moved on and have no reason to hold on to him because I already have a new life and new freedom. I don't understand why these exes are so vindictive? What do they think they can gain out of this? I know it's not going to make them happy in the end but are they aware of this? I have been reading a lot of articles and have read that there's a lot of women have been dealing with evil exes for years! That's outrageous and at the same I feel for them! Good luck to all and just pray for evil exes because they are nothing but a living being with a dying soul.

I too live with a man that has an ex wife. She is actually very nice to me and him but I still have the occasional burst of jealousy. She is doing well on her own and has a good paying job. What upsets me is that her son comes to our house with new toys all the time while my 5 year old son gets a new toy on xmas and birthdays only and her son will NOT allow my son to play with them and his father doesn't see a problem with that since they are not his. I want to tell him to leave his toys at his moms if he cannot share. My son has to share his toys with his brother. I expect him to. I realize that children do not need lots of toys to feel special but it hurts me to see my son get nothing compared to his brother. And of course, her son wears nothing but name brand clothing. I know these things shouldn't bother me but they do. Any advice out there? I do talk to my partner about this but he acts like I am just being a jealous bitch. Am I?

I have been with my finance for 2 yrs. He has a 9 yr old daughter and will not stand up to the ex. The ex treats him like a child and doesn't think he knows how to raise their daughter at all. I can't believe any man could not stand up to an ex. This was all so new to me. She has not allowed his daughter to come see him in the past. This is because she thinks I am mean to the daughter and I'm sure she brainwashes the poor daughter into believing it. A month ago I was feeling really insecure and excluded from my fiance and the sd. He had his daughter all weekend and I was not asked to participate in their fun. I asked them to go to church with me on Sunday and He looked at the daughter and she said no. I asked him if he wanted to go and he said not if she doesn't want to. When I got home they were watching tv and I set down and mentioned that we as a family need to start doing more things together....all of us. My finance says we will talk about it later (which he says when the daughter is present). I wanted to discuss it with all of us in the room. I wanted to see how his daughter felt about the idea. They would not talk to me. He said he was taking his daughter home now because she had a birthday party. I asked if I could ride along with them. He said no I don't want you around. This hurt me and unfortunately made me furious. Anyway he rushed his daughter to the car. I grabbed him a bag and threw it outside saying why don't you just stay somewhere for a few days. He didn't call for a few days. I called him and said I'm sorry, I was just so upset and hurt. I said please come home and let's work this out. I said I would apologize to his daughter and let her know I'm human and I made a mistake. He says he doesn't love me anymore and he is not coming back. We just bought a new house which he knows I can not afford. I have two children of my own who live here as well. I think he could not stand being in the middle of the ex-wife, his daughter and me. He did not choose me. I love him so much and begged for him to come back home and let's get some counseling. He refuses. I'm so hurt! Do you think he will ever come home and stand up to his responsibilities here?

I have 3 wonderful SD....I've known them for 1 1/2yrs now. I originally met my now husband while he was going through a divorce. And although he made the decision of divorcing her before he met me....she calls me a homewrecker in front of everyone to hide behind her failure of the marriage. What broke the camels back was that she abandon him when he got accepted to med school at another state and she decided not to go. She rather stay in her million dollar house and see him once a month with the girls. She is a self centered, uneducated, unconsiderate gold digger. She promised him that if he went through the divorce she was going to find someone else that had more money then him to take care of her and his daughter. And she has, poor guy. What is sad is that she got pregnant to trap him and told his mother that she was going to be well off being a doctors wife. His parents never got along with her. She almost drove him to bankruptcy because of the extravagant lifestyle. Everything she buys has to be name brand. She's teaching her daughters to be that way too. I...who come from a well off family and a doctor don't need to buy Brand names to make me feel important. I purposely didn't buy them name brand clothes for Christmas. I take that back. I bought one item for each girl(shirt from Limit two and Hollister). When we picked them up for christmas they were so excited to open up more gift at our house. They bragged of how they mom got them a wii (which was hard to get and over $400), an Itouch (which cost $300), Ughs boots (which rarely anyone has because they are so expensive and cost over $200), and name brand clothing. I almost felt bad that I didn't buy more....but I decided want to join in what their mother is doing. I realized that the kids were excited about what they got and wanted to express their excitement but putting price tag on what they got....that's their mom's doing. I laughed when one daughter told us Santa Claus must of spent a million dollars.....I muffled yup....your dad spent a lot on you guys:) I only said that because all three knows Santa is dad. Although we had alot more christmas gift under our tree than their mom per one of the girls....they seemed to expect more expecially from Santa. I guess more name brands or electronic gadgets....they made fun of my Jcpenny/Sears boxes:) Although some items were from Dillards or other stores. Any suggestions on battling the name brands?

Wow.... at first when I read The Ex's post, I wanted to throw up. It hit so close to home. I found this page because of my fiance's ex and the emotions I am dealing with because of her. I thought I might be able to find someone who could help me deal. Then I see that post, and it was like it came straight from HER. The BM from hell. That is EXACTLY her stance and how she acts/talks, except for the "I will sleep with him again" part. She is completely off her rocker. They have a 9 year old daugther together and admittedly had many one night stands, but outside of the bedroom all they did/do is fight violently and consistently. She dated as did he, but they always got back together because of convenience and availability. Now that fiance and I have settled down, he proposed and cut off his ties with her, she is spewing the same garbage. "I knew he didnt want to settle, and its fine that he's ready now and going to do it with you, but he will always belong to me, i have his blood daugther and have known him for 10 years" she txts him all the time telling him how he is a shitty father for living with me and my kids and how he needs to spend more time with his "REAL" family... even though before he met me, she refused to allow him to see his daughter unless she was going to get a lil action at the same time. So... in closing... "The EX" ... you are freaking ridiculous. He is not yours. Your child is his family. YOU are not. You do not have his name, sleep in his bed.. he does not wake up next to you in the morning, run his hand across your cheek and tell you he loves you... he did not get on his knee, profess his love and ask you to marry him. Did he? No? Didnt think so. You need to wake up and smell reality. Am I harsh? Damn straight I am. You are so quick to inflict pain on your ex's fiance to make yourself feel better... so if you can't take the heat sweetheart, get out of the kitchen. Your CHILDS FATHER does not want you for anything more than sex. You created the one person that he will love unconditionally forevermore, that is where the line is drawn. Get a life of your own. And to all of you that responded, thank you, because I was about to go screaming into traffic after reading that crap. Glad I'm not the only one who can smell a psycho thru a computer post.

So I have read through numerous posts about hating the ex's. Let me tell you a story. My husband of 19 years goes off with an 18 year old girl (who was also trying to be with our 18 year old son). We have three children together the youngest being 9. The husband and I divorce and he married the girl. None of the kids want to see him (1. because he is verbally abusive) (2. because he is with this girl). Was I angry yes I was. Two years later they divorce because she cheated on him. He comes back into my picture (yes like an idiot, I forgave him, but my children are still guarded and don't trust him) with good reason, seems like he has been talking to both me and the girl. Three months after thier divorce, he is up here with me and the kids "spending time as a family", but then I discover (by accident, a few days after he left that he remarried her. I know she hates me (because I'm the ex) and I can't say I like her much. But if this woman knew all the mean and hateful things he said about her (I'm sure he has said it about me to) she would be furious with him. Some men (husbands) are just evil. My point, not all ex's are bad - some of them may have reasons.

I am going thru alot right now. I am engaged to a man that I love. Everything is good except his cousin tries to start trouble with me and my fiances ex. She tells me all the time that she wants him back. His cousin backs stabs me all the time with his ex. My fiance did try to get back with his ex when we first statred dating. He realized she wasnt for him.What can I do. Im sick of the drama!!!!

It's so nice to know that other people understand where I am coming from. This ex is so "out of it" that I wasn't allowed to even be around the children , without her present (even though my husband was there) for six months after we married. She stopped his visitation when she found out he and I were expecting a son because she only has girls with him. She has a son from a one night stand and for a little while during his and her marriage he talked of adopting him, but the kids real dad showed up. So she was so jealous that my husband has a true biological son.
She says she is calling to simply talk about the girls but then she rants and raves about how she doesn't have a social life, not our fault. She makes promises that she won't dump her problems on my husband and she does. She pitched a fit when I wouldn't let her in my hospital room after my csection. She became angry when I told her that my son is not her family, because she kept telling the girls that she was kind of his mom too!!!! I don't know what else to do with the crazy woman and because my husband doesn't deal with her harshly enough, she continues to call him at work or get angry when I answer the phone at my house.
There have been times that I was ready to leave my husband because I felt that he was allowing her to manipulate him so much and I was tired of it.
I honestly dread the weekends when the girls come because they want to make comments about how much fun it was when they (the ex and my husband) would go here or there. Sorry, but I'm putting myself through college and raising my son and working full time, so we don't have a lot of time to take trips. My husband has spoken with the girls about respecting me, and it's getting better but I feel like a maid when they are there.
Okay, I better quit venting or you people will think I'm the evil stepmom but I'm not.
Just any suggestions how to deal with this crazy ex? What do I do?
my email is [email protected] and please email with any suggestions.

I met my ex-husband when he was in the navy in 1961, we got married had 4 children (the very best thing that came of this marriage was the children). We were married for 32 yrs. some of the time was good, and some of it was unbearable, but my children made it livable. He was pretty much of a womanizer, but never open with it. Then around year 31 he went "stupid" The children were all on their own and out of the home. We were traveling alot and showing Quarter Horses, and for the first time in years, what I thought was a really good time. Out of the "blue" and hit me right between the eyes, was a 23 yr old truckstop waitress. younger than me youngst son. She had a child and was pregnant.....not his. But they were having an open affair, yes I got a divorse. and for the past 6 years he is still acting like this has been my fault. I will not ever take the blame for his actions. For awhile I was so bitter, and constantly tried to figure out why he did such a thing. Now my life is so good. I have remarried, and live life the way it should be done. But because of the children this ex is always there in the background of my life. He is a total slug. My youngst son resented his Dad for years, and I did everything I could do to help him through his feelings, telling him, he didn't get to pick his Mom and Dad, and we were the only ones he would have, so try to repair his damaged feelings while he had a chance. Believe me that was hard to do, because I could care less. Even though I have a wonderful life now, I still can't get passed my resentment for all the years I "wasted" with my "ex"

I hate her because she makes the kids sleep with her boyfriends kids on a mattress on the floor
I hate her because she hit her 3 year old son
I hate her because she tried to have my husband's life ruined
I hate her for hurting 5 young children, 2 families, in-laws & subsequent children
I hate her for giving birth (I don't hate the kids, just her for having children with someone she was using the entire time, when she could have had the kids with his best friend, who's she with now anyway)
I hate her for coming to my door acting like she's something special when really she's not
I hate her for living, her own mother doesn't even like her
I hate her for trying to take the kids to dangerous countries, not realizing she has no chance
I hate her for looking like trash, not cleaning her house, and that nose (*ugh)
I hate her for having been married to my wonderful husband, because she didn't deserve him
I hate her for cheating
I hate her for breathing in our planet's oxygen

I love the story about 'douche'. Now THAT's a real wack-job ex....but that story is so funny to read. Good thing that stepmum is able to have a sense of humour about such a crazy psycho! It totally comes close to my situation so I believe every word.

I personally do not care if MY husband's ex hates me. She's an ex, and he divorced her for being a cheating, lying, horrible insult to the human race. I don't care if she hates me. In fact, I welcome it. Bring it on! We are both bio-moms and stepmoms but she's not good at either job. The difference is that she's a 'biowhore' (in all areas) and I'm not. Nuff said.

Just read the last comment....

Just to point out - "Biowhore" is actually a word, according to Urban Dictionary (slang)...scroll down for the bottom defintion. I think this will enlighten many members

Here is the link: Just so you know - now THAT is even funnier! Found it soo long ago and sent it to a friend but I was waiting for a really good chance to use it! Thanks!

Remaining anonymous for this one

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=biowhore

Between my wife's exes, her insecurities, my insecurities, and the kids, I'm in a constant state of frustration. Here's the quick low down.

1 exes- from the begining her exes and her poor boundaries have lead to headaches. Continuing email and calls (He even called on our wedding night!) This plus a Springer-esque past has left me feeling very insecure.

2 her insecurities- She focuses on things I'd consider trivial. And is very controlling

3 Her kids hate me because I have had run ins with their dad when he's drunk/high. And they have so many issues (psychological) that I don't even want to be around when they are home (70% of the time)

I want this marriage to work but in the past few months it is so overwhelming. Doubt there is any advice out there. probably just wanted to vent

Its ssoooo great to find such a support group!!THank you so much everyone for sharing all your stories...it really helps me feel less isolated...
Ive been with my husband 3years, we have a 10month BD and a 10yr SS. I love my husband and my step son ALOT- its just 'her (the ex)' that i cant stand!!! She doesnt know how to communicate anything and her only way of talking is yelling!!!!she looks down on me and I really really cant stand the thought that she's going to be in the picture for the rest of my life/marriage...!!!!
We are struggling sssooo much financially because my husband is self employed but the greedy woman wont stop nagging for more child support!!Her new man and her drive a four wheel drive and live in a nice suburb but she still wants to squeeze every cent off us to a point we cant even afford basics after paying rent!!!
I HATE HER!!I HATE HER!!I HATE HER!!!! she has said the most hurtful things to me that i cant even write them down!!she moved SS an hour away and the deal was we'll meet halfway for our weekend visits- now she's changed everything and the story is- if hubby wants to see his son, he has to pick him from home and drop him back!!! its RIDICULOUS!!!!the horror stories are endless...i just wish he had never met her and i was there first!!

anyway it felt really good to vent !!!

Her current husband divorced her, citing his complaints about her grossly co-dependent relationship with her daughter (my husband's daughter). So she kicked the daughter out of the house as a last ditch effort to try to get her hubby to take her back. Stepdaughter is 17 years old and had only 3 weeks left in her Junior year. So we got custody of her and now she has to go to summer school to make up all the classes (that she was getting As in) that she didn't get to finish because the mother has this crap drama with the hubby that she created. The poor girl is so brainwashed, she makes up all these excuses for her mother, even though the problems with the hubby are entirely the mother's fault (lying to him, cheating, manipulating him, etc. etc.). But the mother's fine with the daughter believing it's all her fault. sick, sick, sick, sick. I could go on, but man I HATE that EVIL vile sick woman. I HATE her for what she's done to her kid. Her kid is SO screwed up in the head and now we have to try to help her and deal with her, pay for counseling, etc. etc. etc. I am happy to do that, but I just HATE the woman for what she's done to this poor kid's life. This isn't the only issue, just the latest. And on top of it, she LIED to her daughter and told her she was only going here for a week, so all she had with her was a week of summer clothes and a swimsuit - nothing appropriate for school. And the mother absolutely refuses to mail any of her clothing, shoes, toys, games, CDs, etc. NOTHING. So my husband supported this child fully financially for 17 years (because the mother worked under the table and claimed she had no income even though she was making more money in cash than my husband was clearing)... and she won't do ANYTHING to support this kid by just sending her things she ALREADY owns. Sick, evil, vile hateful woman. ARGH! This is just the latest in years and years of emotional neglect and abuse she's created with this kid.

OK, I'm done.

I hate my husband's ex wife. I tried so hard in the beginning to be nice and make this work and she just wouldn't let me. She is mean, overweight, and 10 years older than me. She is also a crappy mother in my opinion. Not bad enough to lose her son, but bad enough that it makes me wonder if she's crazy.

She never cooks, she has no idea how. They only eat fast food all of the time. This is one reason why she's so fat. This makes it impossible on me to get my stepson to eat anything remotely healthy. I am of average weight, but have to work really hard to maintain it. I run almost every day and eat healthy and it kills me to see people not even trying. She's fake and is always at church. When she leaves church she takes the fake off and becomes the real evil witch she is. I hate two-faced people.

I never see her anymore, but when I did she would try to copy me. She tried to get her hair cut like mine and tried to dress younger, she just ended up looking like an old fool. Every time we have my stepson she makes it hard on us. She loves to not be home when it's time to take him back.

How are you supposed to not hold a grudge on a child when his mother makes your life hell? When your nice life is interrupted by a child that wasnt raised ANYTHING like you would raise one? He has no interest in anything but video games. I try to get him interested in other things, but it never works. I have just given up. Sometimes I wonder how my husband married such a piece of trash and then married the total opposite years later. I just don't get it but every other weekend I end up miserable.

Let me tell you, I can so relate to much of what I am reading. I have been with my fiance for a year and throughout our relationship his ex has been guilting him thru their 12 year old son. She says I am the reason they did not get back together. He had no intention of going back with her. She shows up to pick up their son wearing revealing clothing and flirting. She constantly tries to make small talk. I have been very good to my stepson and love him as my own. It is hard to build our relationship when she keeps making me the villian. Now she has new tactics trying to keep her son from my fiance. In turn he feels guilty and will do almost anything to appease her in order to see his son. I am finding it extremely taxing and I think she is a wing ding and I wish she would find a man. I am at my wits end now trying to deal with my stepsons resentment towards me. When he visits he causes nothing but trouble. I believe she talks to him about adult issues regarding her relationship with my fiance. I am curious to know if anyone out there can relate to my circumstances.

I never knew until now I wasnt alone.. Ive got great friends, they are simply blessed to not know nor understand the situation I currently find myself....

My husband && I knew eachother along time ago.. Oh, what a time that was... But with life, we went our seperate ways.. && I truly believe we fulfilled a destiny, we were meant to live.. It was at a time we both so desperatly needed eachother that we came back into our lives.. Almost 6 months to the day of our chance meeting, we were married... I have one son, and he has two children, with a woman he spent over 10 years with.. I dont like to dislike.. but gosh, i have tried, for far tooooooo long! Ive done everything I can to dodge her self righteous, selfish, pathetic attempts, at splitting us up.. and doing everything she can to hurt me.. starting with the kids && ending with him.. I simply do not know what to do anymore!

More than life, I love him... I know that we were meant to be.. I dont know how to handle all the drama, the hate, the selfish ways of a woman, who gave us his children after hacking his emails to find out we sometimes argued about their wild ways.. I love them as they are my own.. Ive never favored any of the kids over another, and have always gone out of my way to make them feel at home when they were only coming half the week... Now they are here full time, with only a three or four window of visitation she chooses each week...

Totally honest: I honestly believe she only visits the kids because it is her way of keeping in touch with him.. I tried everything to be nice to her.. invited her into my home, ignored her insults and sarcasm... yet with her its never ending... I know he loves me.. but when will I actually be able to enjoy my hubbie && kids when she does everything she can on a daily basis to intrude? Am I being totally selfish in wishing her away? I want her to see the kids, I do.. I spend the majority of my time with the kids, as I was asked to quit work to stay with them.. && make sure to do whatever I can to let them know their mom loves them && does miss them, although I often question it myself? What good mother would totally give custody of her kids up? But know this.. Through it all.. the good ole state revenue office is still deducting a ridiculous amount of child support to assure the kids are cared for?!??! How is this when we have them?

I simply want to feel as if I am part of this marriage too! Instead of a stranger formely known as me.