New hear and thankful I found it when I did....
Im new to this site and I am soo thankful that I found someone who is dealing with a similar situation as mine. I started dating my now husband while his ex was preggers, but everyone that knew them said the baby couldnt be his. From the time the baby was born it was one headache after another. A DNA test was done and guess what the baby is his. So one month after SD was born we were married. By this time BM is living with my in-laws. Then a few months go by she gets pissed and moves out and when were told that we dont need to worry about SD anymore cuz now we have one of our own on the way. (YEAH Shes a nice one!) That gets worked out cuz she needs a babysitter to watch SD. Then the CS is settled he pays. Since they were never married they dont have a visitation agreement so everytime she gets mad she tells us that we cant see SD anymore. Then after a few months comes back around. Well then she talks us (i know we were way stupid) into paying her the child support instead of the payment center and we did well after about 2 years of us doing that she calls whoever it is DHR I think and they issue a warrent for husband. He sits in jail until we get the attorny to look over everything and he talked to the judge and husband is home. Well this didnt sit to well with BM she keeps SD away from everyone on this side of the family for 2 years. Then finally calls husband and wants to know if he wants to see SD and of course he is going to jump at that. Well she has since decided 3 more times that we dont need to be a part of SD life and then this past new years decides that she cant handle SD anymore and that she should come and live with us (we now have 3 other children together) and that she is gonna give up custody. SD is a handful. And she thinks that she will be much happier with us. But the catch was that we would be taking care of SD and still paying BM child support every month, and because she doesnt work it would do us no good to try and get CS from her. It took her less than 24 hours to make this choice and already have all of SD things packed up and moved over here. She already turned SD bedroom into an office or a playroom for her son not sure which keep getting different stories. Then after SD being with us for 1 week. BM gets pissed cuz shes not getting her way and comes to get SD and take her back home. Then tells us that we cant see her anymore. After a week or so of no contact sends a instand message on the computer that she thinks its best if we just forget about SD and go on about our lives. 1 week after that she shows up at our house with the story that she needs to take SD to doc so she needs a new insurance card, but would also like to talk.... She wants to sign a piece of paper stating that SD will come to our house EOW and on holidays they will decide then. But she DOESNT want to go to court right now cuz she cant afford it she just bought a new car and thier money is all tied up. This is such Bull_____ cuz now no one really wants to get too close to SD in fear that she will be gone again soon. Not to mention SD is really a brat. Dont know what to do anymore this has been going on for over 9 years now.........
This one is simple...
Get a visitation agreement.
I don't know what anyone else could tell you, you have no legal standing to see the child or not if there is no visitation agreement and they were not married when the child was born.
After that, the minute she denies visitation or is withholding the daughter, haul her back into court for alienation and withholding of visitation. A lot of parents think that dragging into court will make things worse, but things are already worse.
Also...
If she is getting unemployment CS can be garnished from her wages as it is considered income.
Do it LEGALLY.
In Agreement
I agree with Stepmum. It shouldn't matter to you whether or not she can afford a lawyer. She is the one who is choosing to put her child in this situation and you need to put an end to it. I think you are at the point where you have to either do it legally or forget about the whole thing. Tearing the child back and forth whenever BM sees fit is the worst thing for the child.
Take her to court!!
This woman sounds very unstable. If your husband wants to see his daughter on a regular basis then get a visitation agreement.
I hope you have all documentation of everything that has happened over the last 9 years. You may need it for court.
Good Luck Hun.
enough
Take her to court if she wants to cry about money then they can assign her a court appointed lawyer. as for child support she can pay or get a job. the child needs to be in a stable home. If you are tiered of it, think how that kid feels.
Take her azz to court
and get it all settled out.
That way she has to stop jerking you guys around and your DH has a leg to stand on.
Geez i hate BMs like that.
Omg
Poor sd her bm sounds like a real piece of work!!I agree with everyone else about taking her to court.Or go after custody of sd.That is really nasty of bm screwing with your sd head.If there is no visitation order than keep sd and dont pay cs and go to court and say she is unfit and extreamly unstable to be looking after children.She sounds wacked!!!!
ugh!!!!!!!!!!!
She really is as far as Im concerned. Its been 9 years of pure hell from her. I dont think that I have ever wished bad things on anyone in my whole life like I do her. Plus SD is starting to pick up on things and they was she acts is sooo frustrating. I love her and all I just dont know what to do when a 9yo tells you they wont do it and if you make them they are gonna go and tell their mommy they dont want to come back and visit and she knows she can do it.