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tiffany54's picture

ok i am new here and have a quick question. bm is pulling some crap and i know it here. quick background, she went away we have not seen her or sd12 for 11 years now she wants my husband back. well we started seeing sd12, we saw her maybe 4 times in 4 months, and then right after christmas she was gone again. well my husband just doesn't feel a bond and the trouble that the whole situation has brought isn't pretty. our kids are put at risk when she decides to comeback. Bm likes to call cys a lot. anyway the new plan after not talking to my husband for 4 months is he needs to sign a birth certificate? that his name is supposedly already on? why would one have to do that? this is just to fishy to me and i really need help here. i don't trust her or anything she does and i am proven right all the time. i just want to know what would be a reason to do this. thank you so much.

melis070179's picture

What state? That doesn't make sense. Don't ever sign a birth certificate, get a DNA test first. Does he pay child support? If not, that may be what she's up to. If they were married when she was born, in some states they automatically put the husband on it & there is no signing involved. If they weren't he can't be put on it unless he signs it or unless there is a DNA test.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

tiffany54's picture

LMAO on the bowel movement, that was what I thought. we are in pa and no they weren't even really together that long. yes he does pay child support, but they said he signed a paternity thing? i don't think his name is on the birth certificate or she wants to get her daughter's last name changed. she is stupid. he hasn't been in her life for 11 years and she wants to change her daughter's last name now? wtf i am so over this drama. thank you for the responses and i did call a lawyer and he said don't do it.

dowd1250's picture

I keep telling friends and ppl I know certain individuals should be............................. well you get the idea
Anyway, I would not let her badger you into anything and would agree with melis070179, try for a DNA test and maybe withhold CS in an attempt to get one done (unless pre-ordained by some stupid-ignorant court system).

My honest opinion and estimation and gut feeling is she's planning something and wants more $, attention, or to just put the screws to your husband. I would seriously invest in a lawyer.

Anon2009's picture

and talk to his lawyer...ASAP!!!!

IF the child ends up being his, he DOES need to be in her life...children NEED to know both of their biological parents.

I agree with Dowd1250 that withholding child support is a good idea, BUT (and this is a BIG but) talk to your lawyer before doing it just to make sure it's ok for you to do so.

If the DNA test proves it's his, then he should be able to get some basic rights in place for his relationship with his daughter as far as custody and visitation go. He will need to be able to explain to and prove to the court that it was BM's fault that he didn't see SD for 11 years.

If the child is proven to be his, he needs to talk to his lawyer to see if there's any way he could get her into therapy. This BM just reeks of PAS, and I'm only reading about her!

Does he have any documentation about this situation- i.e. paperwork and phone calls tracking any efforts he made to find BM so he could see and contact SD? Does he have any documentation of when visitation with SD was withheld from him by BM? He needs to have all of his documentation about this situation handy to show to a judge.

He also should ask his lawyer how and if he can obtain a copy of the birth certificate, and hospital documents from when BM had SD. He might not be able to obtain these unless the DNA test proves SD is his.

Does SD look anything like DH or anyone in his family? That should be a huge indicator of whether or not she is DH's child.

He needs to talk with his lawyer in GREAT detail about this situation.

TinaKay's picture

oh this made me think of a joke I heard.
Here is is:

THE LAST CHILD SUPPORT CHECK
Today is my daughters 18th birthday.......
I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment.
Month after month, year after year, those payments!

I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your Mama's house; You tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, then I want you to come back here and tell me the expression she had on her face."

So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was so anxious to hear what the ex had to say and how she took it.

As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Well now .. what did she have to say?"

"She told me to tell you that you ain't my Daddy."

tiffany54's picture

well it turns out the you know what showed at my door. tells me this is how you sign rights over you sign the back and take it to the courthouse so i told her wait at the door while i called and verified what she said. well she started her crap running at the mouth blah blah blah well my husband wanted nothing to do with her at all. well, i told her i find out you are lying you are in some sh**. well i got on the phone proved her wrong as i turned around she took off in her car. well i called her and asked wtf and she said she just wanted to see my husbands face and it isn't fair that he can't just be her friend. ok he wants nothing to do with her cause she constanlt puts me down, makes comments and tells him she loves him. so she drove to domestics for an increase while he was on the phone with him!! really she needs help honestly we are just done with it all.

smurfy1smile's picture

Find out where she was born and request a copy of her birth certificate from that state and/or county. In MN, if you were born in this state you can get a copy at any county in the state. That would take care of the question of is BF on it or not. Then find out where to get a copy of the paternity paper he supposedly signed. This may be from the state also.