The continuing Saga of the woman who stands in the way of everyone's happiness!!!
Still pretty much the same.The good news is we hardly ever hear from BM. But SD has pretty much stepped into her role, going down the same road as BM, using men to support her.Calling Daddy when she "needs" something!! HD is still in a depressed "mood" most of the time.There are a few new developments.SS is now getting married in May and has a 4 yr old SS. He still dosen't really know how to handle money much better than last time I posted a year ago. SD has had another baby (by a different man, married to neither)after she had this child,she waited a total of about a month and went back to her Mother's place to live dropping the baby Daddy also. Last we heard he was in another state.(don't really blame him)SD is "engaged" to another guy, all within the same month of having the kid and dumping baby Daddy!!! I refuse to even get to know anyone she brings around anymore because he'll just be gone when she's sucks him dry too! She has told HD that she is now going to nursing school (I've heard THAT before too) HD gets mad at me when he tells me these things and I respond truthfully. He told me tonight that SD will be getting married in March, I just said, we'll see!! I'm through biting my tongue and getting stepped on. When SD had her baby in July, a week after my sister died (while we were all on vacation, with my sister with us)SD did not go, poor thing was too far along, but I didn't invite her to begin with and let her know it too. HD told me SD was upset that I didn't come to the hospital to see her & baby (boy)?!?! I was not in the mood to see Big Mamooo(BM)and THAT part of SD's disfunctional family! They probably should feel very lucky I didn't go, considering how I felt at the time! I might just have went off on the whole lot of the human leaches!! The other night HD told me that SS and his newly aquired family wanted to move in with us to "save" on money. I told him NO, I was not going to go through that crap again, and if it happens,I'll just go rent a room at his parents house (THAT got to him because he knows how his father feels about all of that mess and people taking responsibility for their own selves). He said that SS will talk to me about it, I said alright, I waited all day while they were here yesterday and he never said a word, so I asked HD and he said that he told SS I said NO, no one is moving in with us! I thought to myself, good, he's finally getting the idea that this is MY home too!!
We really don't have a marriage anymore, there has not been any intimacy in almost 2 years. However I did find out that he has been "talking via phone & email" to his first love for a while now (I don't know if he still is, but he has taken to erasing his texts and emails now, when he never did before) by the tone and content of his email, he still has feelings for her, going so far as to call her by the nick name he gave her over 30 years ago! Part of the email said " things are the way they are and I can just think what if (IF) (the word of wonder)Maybe I will see you alone?? No intention to hurt anyone, I hope you understand that? I hope to see you and your beautiful smile soon????? This woman lives in the same town we do,about 10 miles away from us and is married to the same man she was willing to dump for HD if he would leave BM & SS when he was a year old!!! HD told her no, he would never leave his son!!! I told him I found this email, and if he wanted out out, just say the word, I DO NOT want a man who does NOT WANT ME!!! So this is where I am in my life. Maybe I'm just waiting for our BS to grow up a little more and then just let go????
Any opinions for me out there?
Part of the email said "
Part of the email said " things are the way they are and I can just think what if (IF) (the word of wonder)Maybe I will see you alone?? No intention to hurt anyone, I hope you understand that? I hope to see you and your beautiful smile soon?????
i put up with a lot of crap from dh over the skid thing-some things we work on together, some things we dont. i might be totally furious at him for the way he's handled things but i know we're always a team, deep down. this-nope, sorry. you deserve better.
Wow I am also stuck on that
Wow I am also stuck on that your sis died and none of them came to the funeral? I am so sorry, that must have been very, very traumatic-! I swear if my DH ever wrote some e-mail such as that he would be kicked out. How old is your son? Do you have the means to support yourself if you have to? This sounds miserable honey, I will pray for you - HUGS
_________________________________________________________
"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)Yeah, My sister died on a
Yeah,
And I love that!!!! I'm slowly making inroads toward making this house MINE!! If that makes sense???
My sister died on a Monday and the Memorial (we decided to cremate and spread her ashes where she died because it is also her favorite place to be on earth, we were camping at a beautiful river we as sibs all grew up going to)was that Saturday. I decided to stay at her house during that week to help my niece with whatever she needed, HD did not come with me, I stayed there alone (which was kinda nice, I felt closer to my sis somehow)HD & BS came up that Friday night, step kids didn't! Even though SS had visited with my sis right before she died at the campsite. We all live (my sibs) in different towns and the yearly camping is a way of all of us to get together. Our BS is now 12, I know that being in a marriage that isn't working is not good for my son, but I grew up in a "fighting" household, and believe me when I say it's a hell of alot better than all of the verbal & physical fighting. We don't fight,hardly ever argue, unless it's about the grown kids wanting "money" or HD to co-sign for a car or whatever they can think up. We just share the same house I guess! I have gotten to the point that I DO NOT have a problem with saying NO to SS, He recently asked me to co-sign for him since SD has already messed up HD's credit with HER car, I told him NO.
Yes, I have a good job, it's just that I have put so much of myself into this house we have built that I refuse to let all the leaches move in on all MY hard work here. SD does not talk to me, which does NOT bother me in the least, and she has gotten to point of making excuses to HD about coming out to the house if she knows I'm here
hangingin
Oh, and thank you Most Evil
Oh, and thank you Most Evil for your prayers, it means a great deal to me!!!
hangingin
I am really, really sorry
I am really, really sorry about your sis. About the rest, I hear you and it sounds like you are hoping for the best yet planning for the worst - which is about the best we can do, huh?
I completely understand how you feel and I am working on those prayers now.
_________________________________________________________
"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)I think that I would leave.
I think that I would leave. As far as I'm concerned, what he's doing with his first love is cheating! I wouldn't stand for it.
No, I'm not leaving....yet!
No, I'm not leaving....yet! Got to take care of things first, get all my ducks in a row, so to speak.
Thank you all for your words of wisdom, it really helps to post here and vent and get back from all of the "family" here that ya'll understand. You have REALLY helped me to keep my sanity!!:)
hangingin
Get your "ducks in a row"
Get your "ducks in a row" and kiss all the bullshit goodbye! Leave your DH with his pretend relationship of emails and text messages and let the cycle of disfunction begin again for someone other than you.
I cant even imagine the sadness of having your sister pass and then have your Skids not even show their respects. Buncha crap!
We had a good talk last
We had a good talk last night, I point blank asked him if he was still in contact with "his friend" and he said no. I again told him that if he wants out, just say it. He told me no, he loves me and our life together (such as it is..yepeee!)So...today HD calls me at work and tells me that SS has told his landlord that he will be moving out at the end of Dec...I asked him, and where will SS & family be living?? He got quiet and I just about came unglued, I told him NO,not NO, but HELL NO!!! He was trying to tell me that they needed to save ALL of their money. I got even more upset and said...you mean to tell me that both of ya'll not only disregard my feelings and my WORTH, BUT ON TOP OF THAT, ya'll want US to SUPPORT them too????? I DO NOT THINK SO! I told him, from now on I will handle SS, so I called him and told him that I have already made my postion VERY clear, there is no room in MY home anymore, I have had ENOUGH. I will go stark raving monkey crazy if anyone else moves in MY house. I told him I loved them, but NO. Make other arrangements. I could tell he was upset because he told me he had to go, his boss was on the other line. So I called HD back and told him it was taken care of, he asked what I told SS. I repeated everything I said and he got really quiet. I told him it was either this or having me GONE. I point blank asked him... do you want your wife or grown son living with you? He said me,and then said he had to go that he wasn't feeling very well. A few hours later, I called HD and asked him how SS was doing? (I really do love him, but I had to take a stand or lose my sanity)He said SS was fine, that they were going to move into SS's maternal grandfather's doublewide mobile home ?!?!? (it had been his great-grandmothers place, but SS didn't "like it") I had for months been telling SS to talk to his granfather about it, as it was standing empty.(I guess unless I act like a BITCH, no one will listen to me!)What really made me mad was the fact that both HD & SS had went over my head and disregarded everything I had said, like phhwwww, she dosen't matter!! Well, they BOTH found out real quick how this mule can AND WILL stick her feet in the sand and NOT MOVE!!! I can be a easy going person up to a point, but when someone pushes that one big honkin RED BUTTON, they find out real quick I MEAN BUSINESS!!! I guess Mobile Home (with FREE RENT) DOSEN'T LOOK SO BAD NOW????
hangingin
Not that I know of...he can
Not that I know of...he can if he wants too! LOL! But I don't think it will go over so well with his ex-inlaws.He may help with the renovations that apparently need to be done on the house. SS's soon to be inlaws have already offered to help with the labor. In my book that's a pretty damn good deal to me! You should have seen some of the places I lived in when I started out on my own, a tack room in a horse barn,where wasn't uncommon to find snakes & mice in your room, a oldddd mobile home on a ranch that in the winter I had to fight possums for my bed!!!! Poor things were just looking for warmth LOL!! I REALLY would love to have seen SS AND SD live like that, just for a month, maybe they would have a new outlook on life then!
hangingin
What unbeleiveable nerve of
What unbeleiveable nerve of both your husband and your stepson to make these arrangements behind your back! Before SS got married - he should have thought about how he would support his new wife and Skid before assumming that he could move back in with you and his dad!. Plus the nerve to expect that you would work to financially support him and his new family - not to mention all of the extra physical work that would have been made for you as I'm sure they wouldn't do the shopping, cooking, cleanup, or laundry! I am so glad that you took a stand as there may have been no end in sight if they had moved in with you!
My HD would love nothing
My HD would love nothing more than to have ALL of his kids under HIS roof,along with 2 grandsons & stepgrandson,and add the son in law of the month that SD will provide and SS's wife. But it's not JUST his roof, it's mine too. I am the one who got him where he is today. If not for me, he would probably be living with his kids and their offspring still on BM's family's land. BM had his credit sooo messed up, that he could not afford to own a cell phone. I AM THE ONE who sold my house to finance the house we built. Yes his father gift deeded him the land to build on, but if not for ME, his father NEVER would have given him the land, he HATES BM, and refused to even let her live on that land. Even now, the reason he will not give SS any land is because of BM. He's afraid that she will somehow slime her way onto it.
hangingin