JUST FOUND OUT IM PREGNANT
:jawdrop: So today I confirmed my pregnancy from the doctor after testing postive twice saturday. I am beyond excited, but I find myself hiding some joy due to my husband. I would say something about what ive found on the internet and his response is" i know that already, you dont have to tell me everything you find out". He's been really cranky since I told him and I know he has a lot on his mind due to his daughters situation of living with a selfish B****. But thats not my fault! Then he wants me to wait a whole week or two before I tell anyone. OMG! This is my first pregnancy and it took us four months and I thought I never would due to my thyroid issue(removed 6 years ago). So im so excited and I have no one to share this with. Well I told my sister who is overly excited but i told her not to tell since he doesnt want me too. He wants his daughter to be the first to know, and I understand him wanting to share that with her, but geesh! She doesnt even want siblings so I will have to deal with her being grumpy about it, why wait to tell her that news! Why cant I tell the few people I have in my lives about this great news before the brat makes me sad and angry from her response. Everything has to be about her and the sun seems to set on their asses.. Im the one carrying this child I should be able to be the happiest mother to be ever, but instead im sitting here feeling depressed. I even asked him last night whats the reason for the wait and his response "i dont want to talk about this, change the subject". Im glad my sister knows but now she is experiencing my agony due to her not being able to tell. Im not sure if he is scared Ill lose the baby or he is just being selfish and waiting for his daughter to be the first one. Its not like she would care to be the first one to know, and i told him that and his response "why do you always have to make things so difficult".. I hate feeling so alone. I have no parents, they are losers. Only my siblings. I want to atleast share this good news with the few ppl i have in my life and he's taking that from me! SORRY I JUST NEEDED TO VENT
^^^THIS! Congratulations! I
^^^THIS! Congratulations! I hope all goes well
^^ Completely agree with
Congratulations!!! I know
Congratulations!!! I know what you are going through. My DH was excited about our pregnancy but he is dragging his feet about telling the steps. I'm starting to show and it sucks that I have to hide my pregnancy around them because he doesn't know how to "break the news" to them. I know they are going to be jealous and angry and I just want to get it over with. I agree with Echo. You should tell people you are close to. Having a few joyous reactions might lessen the impact of how your SD will react. Here's to a happy and healthy 9 months!
Yeah, his response is weird.
Yeah, his response is weird. Did he really want this pregnancy as much as you did? I'd flip my lid if he wanted me to not tell anyone until SD was told. Why is that? Does she have to approve it? Does she get final say so? Sure, I can understand that he might be worried about her hearing from someone else before he gets a chance to tell her, so call her up right now and tell her!
Congratulations! I don't
Congratulations! I don't even know you, but I'm very happy for you!
If a stranger feels glad about your news, why doesn't he? I feel like he's being really unfair to you. You guys TRIED for this baby. It's not like it's a surprise. And now you can't tell anyone?
Just MAKE him listen to you. Don't care if you're making things uncomfortable for him, because he is consciously doing it to you. Just tell him sincerely, and as level-headed as possible, that you don't appreciate that you have to keep this happy news to yourself. If he really wanted to tell his daughter first, then what is the hold up? There are phones, and he can pop by to tell her in person.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your responses..
To Rhyleighblue- I do not agree with his statements and how he is reacting to things, but I am sure he wanted this pregnancy just as much as i did. We havent had unprotected sex up until this past yr and we've been together for 5 years. So i dont think its just MY pregnancy..I think he's just thinkin more of his daughters reaction instead of me being excited.
I will have a talk with him tonight, because I do want to tell close friends and relatives. He made a big deal about his sister in law waiting until her 12th week to tell the family and now he wants to do the same.And yes it seems as if his daughter has to approve of the baby, if she reacts badly i am afraid he will regret it. If she is happy then he is happy.I know she will react badly so I am preparing for the bullshit as we speak.I never thought I would have to hold this news in, I just want to call my MIL and tell her the news. He doesnt understand that when he does stuff like this it makes me dislike him and his daughter more!!! Its like since I told him he's been acting weird. One minute he doesnt want to hear crap about it because im nagging him and the next he's calling me talking about it. I dont even want to bring up anything about the baby to him. I think this is going to be a rough 8 months
Considering your health
Considering your health issues Id say waiting til the 12 week is actually a good idea. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester, but in the mean time- you can tell close family and friends and have it be your little secret because you dont want to "announce" it til you're further along.
CONGRATS!!!! i dnt knw u but
CONGRATS!!!! i dnt knw u but im happy for u..... i say just tell anyone u want .... he can tell his kid... but u cnt be gettin depressed wen u should be happy and celebrating.... ur hubby has something wrong with him if he doesnt want you to celebrate your reat news.... good luck with ur pregnancy.....
Congratulations!! Enjoy this
Congratulations!! Enjoy this miraculous time in your life!! I'm sorry your DH is not being supportive right now, but luckily you have your sister who can give you the emotional support you need to really enjoy this time.
My DH was hesitant to share our news with our first as well. We tried for 4 years and were about to try a second round of IVF when I found out the big news. I must have been 5 or 6 months along when he finally told SD20. She hated the idea, but now finally seems to be happy about the baby and it's obvious he's a novelty to her.
I'm now 19 weeks pregnant with our second and we still haven't told her yet. We go to visit her at college next weekend, and I'm contemplating waiting to tell her til the morning we leave just in case she flips out and ruins the weekend. She flipped out originally when we told her we were trying IVF, never mind actually pregnant.
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your responses, it makes me feel a little better. I talked with him and he's really not that interested in what I have to say right now. More that he is looking out for his daughters feelings because she is very sensitive and emoitional. And i told him well i want to tell a few people, and I get "OK WHATEVER DO WHAT YOU WANT" and click... Oh well, not what I expected but what can I do..
Oh no Rhyleighblue you did
Oh no Rhyleighblue you did not offend me at all, thank you for taking the time out of your day to respond to me
Im due July 6 2012 SO EXCITED, even if he's being a party pooper!
Congratulations! That is so
Congratulations! That is so exciting!!!!!
I'm 9 months pregnant right now and it took a long time for DH to even tell most of his friends or family while I was beyond elated and wanted to tell the world! It really hurt me that he didn't seem as excited or eager to talk about it as I was, almost like he was embarrassed that he was having a second child with me - but he was perfectly fine flaunting the fact that he bred with the most white trash piece of scum on the planet purely by accident.
I finally realized that he was embarrassed of how people would judge the situation as a whole, realizing how his horrible decisions in the past don't really give him credit for trying to have a real family now. However he has grown a lot during these 9 months. It took this long for me to try to explain to him that the past is the past and he already screwed himself with one person, but we are trying to have a family together and what anyone else thinks shouldn't matter - especially when they see how great we are doing. It sounds like your DH is worried too much about what everyone is going to think, but I am most definitely sure he will come around. Just let him know that you need support right now and are willing to give him the same.
Oh, and don't mind what his daughter thinks of it. She needs to realize that she's a CHILD living in YOUR adult life, and if she's going to be a spoiled brat about the situation then let her embarrass herself and don't try to encourage a sibling relationship unless she's open to it. It'll be less stressful for you in the end - just concentrate on YOUR baby! Congratulations!!!!!!
Thank you bunnyone. He
Thank you bunnyone. He finally told his mom today. The first thing she said "what about _____ (his daughters name)? So everyone is making this out to be such a big deal about HER when for once i want a little attention on ME...not trying to be selfish but ive dealt with a lot in 5 years so all im asking is everyone suck it up and be happy for ME. Its even worse that her mother told her that if her dad and i had a baby it wouldnt be her real brother or sister just a step brother or sister because it didnt come from her! WTF! So yeah that pissed me off!So i know soon as her mother finds out shes going to brainwash her even more. At first i was soworried about what the brat would think,but now i could care less no longer will she run my life!
Someone I knew went through
Someone I knew went through this with her pregnancy and her partner, it nearly destroyed her because of the resentment which was caused by her OH's bad decisions and her eventually accepting this. This lady had to creep around in case her ss found out (think they didnt tell him until she was 7months gone, which she wasnt happy about), ss always came first.
WRONG.
You are pregnant, your DH should have considered how he was going to approach this conversation and when with his daughter prior to you getting pregnant. Instead he is stressing his pregnant wife out. Is he serious?!! Are these men SERIOUS?!!! Stress is bad for you and the baby. I would be PISSED big time while trying to remain as calm as possible due to my pregnancy, but this isnt YOUR problem and nor should SM's always have to consider their DH's and skids happiness first. In this situation, I am sorry, but you come first.
While I would obviously encourage you and DH to be sensitive to sd's feelings, I certainly think you should share this wonderful news and stuff DH. Time for HIM to suck this up and start SUPPORTING YOU. Surprise, surprise - just like you have had to do with sd, him and the step situation I am sure. I would point this out to DH, along with the stress aspect. If he is disinterested in this, then tbh I would refuse to discuss his concerns over sd's reaction - why do you need to hear about it? Not your problem, seeing as hes not interested in the issues he is creating for you. I would detach completely and distance myself from it all.
As for your MIL - what was DH's response? I would be pissed and I would tell MIL that she really hurt your feelings over her immediate reaction to this happy news.
The people who do react like this, are going to find themselves on the peripheral of this joyous occasion because you are hardly going to want to be around such selfish jerks.
Oh and btw, your husband has zero right to tell you who and when you can tell this news to. He should have discussed this with you and for you both to happily agree to whatever you both decided together, but he's being selfish. So time for you to BE the exact same way. If anyone has anything to remark about this, then I would state "well, seeing as everyone else is behaving in this manner (insert example of DH) and I am the one who is carrying this child, then what is good for them is good for me. I don't live in a world where its one rule for someone else and another for me. I am not a walk over."
I completely agree with this.
I completely agree with this. Your DH should have thought about this before, and if he was so worried about his DD's response why did he agree to have unprotected sex with you? Men are idiots sometimes, they assume the world revolves only around them. Enjoy your moment and tell the world. I would tell him that if he doesn't want SD to find out then he should tell her NOW, because you are going to tell everyone you're pregnant, and if he can't accept that, then that's his problem!
I think if i got preganant my BF would be telling complete strangers that I'm pregnant. When his sister told us she was expecting her second child, he struggled to keep it quiet (she told us before the 12 week mark) because he was so excited for her and being an uncle again. If my BF ever told me I couldn't tell anyone something that is happening to ME, I would tell him where to go, period!
Enjoy your moment because even if you get preganant again you will never exeperience this kind of joy, being it your first time and all. Congratulations by the way, and ignore him, do what's right for you and your baby.
What ever happened to the
What ever happened to the pregnant wife becoming TOP PRIORITY in the husband's life?
first of all
first of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm so happy for you!!!! I hope you have a great healthy pregnancy.
Now, who cares what he thinks. Tell whomever you want. I agree that you two should have discussed and agreed upon a plan of action regarding breaking this news to your SD prior to trying to get pregnant.
I read these posts everyday and I'm truly greatful for my husband and my SS. We don't have any of these issues. My SS doesn't hate me, he respects me- he has zero respect for his mom. Our issues are BM and the effed up stuff she does to SS.
Our pregnancy was a surprise and I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant so we didn't have a plan on how to tell SS. We talked about it and decided to ask him if he wanted a brother or sister. He said it would be really awesome if he could have a brother but it'd be okay if he had a sister too. So telling him was easy. I will admit my MIL's reaction wasn't initially good. DH told his sister first and instead of keeping it to herself she told MIL who was mad she wasn't told first and asked how SS took the news when DH said he was happy about it she was happy about it. Everyone else was thrilled. Except BM...her head exploded }:)
For all of you who just
For all of you who just responded thank you again, for the last response i will try that. Again ladies thank you for your support!