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would this be acceptable to u??

leftfield's picture

My bf and I have had many ups and downs. We keep running back to eachother because we have so much passion for eachother and when we are together, it's almost electric. My biggest issue with him is his lack of support for me. I have serious insecurities about his relationship and the lack of boundaries b/w he and his exW. For example, she took their son to swimming lessons the other night and SO met up with them to watch. He never text me or anything and my mind was wandering bc I didn't hear from him until much later that evening. He rarely calls or texts me unless he is returning mine, and even then, I may not here from him. Never a "Good morning" or "I love u" randomn messages like all my friends get. But God Forbid he miss a text by ExW. I talked to him about this and he said he is not responsible for tending to my emotional needs. I disagreed b/c in my eyes, it's crucial to have back your SO up like that. He looked at me like I was nuts when I alluded to this. After our talk, he said he would put more effort into tending to my emotional side, while adding he may not have the patience because he gets so frustrated. He claims he gets frustrated b/c my issues are MY own to deal with and it should be up to me to mend them, and vice versa. I guess he forgot how much I acted like his personnal counselor when we first began dating.

Anyway,
I left for a vaca with my parents to their beach house early this morning. I called him when I got here (he asked me to) and text him a picture. It's been 12 hours and I have yet to hear from him. So now I have to ask.,... Is it just me, as he claims, or, is this extremely rude behavior?

Most Evil's picture

Honey, this is ridiculous . . . he is trying to get you to accept that he doesn't have to give you anything, only take from you - please do not accept that.

You are completely right and he is just being selfish hon. I would ask what he did during this 12 hours you don't hear from him? Sorry dear, HUGS

novemberm's picture

If he is "not responsible for your emotional needs," he is not worth you giving him your heart. Walk away NOW. This is not the man for you-you deserve so much more.

dodgegal05's picture

I've always thought that your SO is responsible for you emotional needs. Its called being there for them (you). Especially if you are there for his needs. It seems like he and his ex are still connected and more than kid together connected. I would move on, you can find great chemistry with a guy that treats you the way you treat them.

LizzieA's picture

Hon, my now DH wouldn't let 2 or 3 hours go by without checking in while we were courting. I never had to doubt his interest in me. And HE chased ME. Your BF is not fully invested in you like a man in love should be. Maybe you do have great sexual chemistry (I've had it many times myself) but it's possible to have that and not be in love. Implement what Mama Gena calls "defensive dating." Instead of trying to get him to comply with you, flirt, have fun, date others. Ignore him. Let him come to you. It NEVER EVER works if you chase the guy. I personally spent too much time waiting for the phone to ring, hung up on someone who was giving me mixed messages. Wish I could live it over again - I would never do that. There's a million guys out there waiting for someone nice to come along.

leftfield's picture

Well, he hasn't responded to me at all and now I"m home. I left him a really pissy message telling him all the things I dislike about him.... from how he never takes his dogs for walks, to how he can go days w/o returning a call or text, to SKID/BM issues!!!! Got it alllll off my chest. I never had the nerve to tell him until NOW. Now I don't think I will EVER hear from him again and that's fine!! I felt so liberated telling him how I really feel.

And as far as the "chasing". You know, he was the one who initiated everything with me at the beginning. He put all the effort into getting me. I don't know what happened. Our first 3 months were phenomenal and then it all went downhill.

liks's picture

yeap.....Ide be saying....seeyah later

chase me if you dare.....then wen he dont chase after you - thats a sign to call out 'NEXT'

Good luck and be grateful you dont have kids to him.....