I personally don't think people change. If she's not admitting that there was a problem, then she will do the same thing in the future. She hurt you and betrayed you and now is denying that? No. there is a quote from a movie that basically says, any idiot in the world can tell you that they love you, it's what you DO to the people you love that really matters. You may still love her. I'm in a similar situation. I know I need to leave my husband, but I really don't want to. At this point, you need to do what you NEED to do, not what you want to do. It'll be a pain in the ass, but it WILL get better in the future. Find someone who appreciates you for YOU, not someone who is stringing you along. She sounds VERY emotionally immature, and you, like most people, probably don't need that in your life. She is making excuses for herself rather than taking responsibility for her actions. Unfortunately, once someone does this, they usually will do that for the entirety of the relationship. Whatever. You sound like a compassionate and sensitive person; I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding a person who's actually worth fighting for.

I've been in therapy for codependency. And something doesn't sound quite right to me about your GF.

1. She's lying about not having any chemistry. You said that she said she was still attracted to him in this post: http://www.steptalk.org/node/54494.

"She said she felt very attached to him because he was the father of her kids and although she wanted to respect my wishes, she couldn't. Also said when she told him she wanted boundaries he acted as if it was a challenge and kept it up and pulled her back in. She said there was nothing sexual, but that it was not platonic either."

2. Two sessions with a therapist does not mean that she is trying really hard. Two sessions with a therapist are her bitching and crying about her life story, so her therapist understands her background and can then tell her what she has to do to fix herself. That right there is a couple of months at least. Then comes many more months of the actual *work* of fixing said problems. Two sessions is the "fun" part of therapy for a codependent, where you try to make your therapist agree with you that you are the victim and the martyr, and you are a special snowflake that everyone is being so mean to.

3. Also, with the way that they were trading pics, dressing provacatively, and actively texting and calling each other more than I do with my BF (a relationship that is a year old, and I'm madly in love with him), it just screams at me that she was cheating on you with her XH. That's another reason why he kept on interfering, and taking her boundaries as a challenge. You trying to get her to impose boundaries on him made it a special, sexy secret between the two of them.

As someone with those tendencies, I can tell you that she will do whatever she has to to keep being viewed as the victim and the martyr. That's the pay-off of codependency. You keep the crazies in your life from completely wrecking themselves, so that you can get other people to talk about how "strong" and "generous" you are. She is playing the victim to you right now. She still doesn't seem to be owning her problem, and thinks that two sessions is enough "proof" that she's trying really hard. She isn't. She either wants you back so you can be the next person she clings to, or if you reject her than she becomes *your* victim. Or her XH once again *victimizes* her by wrecking her relationship. She really needs to "own her own shit".

Get out of it while you can. She is still not well, and has not put in the time to really get to her issues. You returning will make her think that she is done with her work, and it will only be a matter of time before she is back to crying to the XH about you, because you are being a "big meanie" to Our Lady of the Perpetual Victimhood.