You definitely need to have a long talk with your husband. That is just too much for a kid. Reminds me of our grandkids. They would have these big parties and would get tons of stuff from their relatives. One party in particular the grand-daughter just seemed disinterested in most of the presents, and thats when we realize they get too much stuff and they are spoiled. After that we just started buying one big gift, and that's it. Kids today are way too spoiled.

Come Christmas time though, its almost impossible to keep my wife from bankrupting us buying gifts for everybody. I've even resorted to hiding money sometimes and saying I used it to pay a bill just to keep her from spending it.

I don't want to control other adults behavior so unless it's dangerous or completely runs opposed to our values, grandparents can waste money if they want. You can teach a kid to appreciate what they have and to not be greedy even if they have a lot of materialistic items at their disposal. I've seen some nasty ill mannered poor kids and some respectful and appreciative wealthy kids.

At my first child's first christmas I took a stand against the outright debauchery disguised as gift giving. She got three presents..because that was good enough for baby jesus,lol. Some years..those three gifts came to 40$ or so..other years, more. But it was never a free for all. We also didn't have big birthday parties with everyone we knew being invited..and we didn't wait for weekends to celebrate. You get dinner and cake on your birthday...if family makes it, great...if not, so what...less gifts. They got a single gift from us..some years it was big, like a new bike, some years small...like a goldfish.

Instead of focusing on what you can't change, like what someone else buys...focus on what you can, like making sk write thank you notes before using the item and putting limits on how items are used and establish rules on how to care for item in order to have it.

My kids are not spoiled at all. I wish someone would buy them some clothes are just gifts of money for college and stuff!
On a diff note, my bf's daughter is spoiled beyond belief for a 12 year old. She has everything and get's anything she wants. She knows more about the mall and shopping than I ever want to know.
I mentioned one day that I'd like to have a jewelry roll for traveling, she pops off in a room full of people to say.. oh they have those at J crew. Really, what 12 year old knows this??

I'm just saying.. I totally get what you are saying about teaching kids to have some sort of frugality in their lives. I like nice things but I also like for people to not spend oodles of money on me when I can't and won't reciprocate.
And yeh, no 4th grader needs a laptop??
Weird. When they give it to him you should just say.. well, there's your early inheritance dude

Maybe our school district is odd...but I can absolutely see a 4th grader using a laptop often. By middle school, they do an enormous amount of work on computers...it's the way the world functions. In elementary, they actively promote the use. Desktops are nearly the equivalent of a corded house phone...it does the job..but is pretty antiquated and borderline inconvenient in a lot of households. We are a wireless house...dh and I are on laptops working and such and don't want to be confined to the office or desk. Same with the kids..they can drag a laptop to the table for homework or to the couch so they aren't tucked off in a room by themselves but are a part of the family unit while surfing. My daughters relocated school districts and they skype with old friends while doing their hair.