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ahhh - the ex is mad because I told him his kid is a BRAT

leftfield's picture

My (now ex) boyfriend asked me to babysit for an hour one night while he ran some errands and while we were still a couple. his boys are 6 and 5. They both adore me and I was pretty crazy about them. But what I did't like is how my bf favors the 5 yo and bullies his 6 yo. The 6 yo pretty much gets blamed or criticized for every thing. These kids have different moms and I think my bf takes his frustrations out on the 6yo b/c he and the BM just don't get along at all. Oddly enough though, I think she is a pretty nice lady.

so the night I babysat, the 5 year old fake fell 3 times within 20 minutes and CRIED and CRIED while acting like a fish out of water. First of all, is this normal behavior for a 5 yo? I babied him the first time he did it. But the 2nd and third time, he lied to me. He told me that his brother pushed him. I was blunt and told him to stop lying and to stop blaming his brother. I then picked him up and acted like I was going to put him in the oven in a funny way. I did not want to baby him. He thought that was hysterical, the crying stopped and he was fine.

anyway, boyfriend and I had a big fight the next day via phone, which led to the BU. I snapped. I told him that his 5 yo is cathching on to the fact that the 6yo is a scapegoat. I told him about the fake falling and fake crying. I told him that he is turning his son into a lying brat who is always seeking attention. I then told him that he is causing sibling rivalry between the 2 boys by playing favorites. I added that his 5 yo has learned this behavior by daddy.

I hadn't heard from him since the breakup, around 7 weeks now. Until tonight.....he sent me an email telling me how hurt he is that I think his son is a brat. Oh. Good. LORD. And here I thought it had something to do with me calling him a pathetic father. Nope, it's because I called golden child a brat!!! What a joke,

emotionaly beat up's picture

OMG. You are Soooooooooooooooooo, Soooooooooooooo Lucky to be out of that. He has been holding a grudge for 7 weeks after you broke up over you calling his son a brat. Nothing about the break up, or about you commenting on his lack of parenting skills, guess he hasn't noticed any of that, all he heard was his son was a brat. Does he even know you've left, maybe not because he clearly has been so absorbed inthe 5 year old the last 7 weeks he might think you are at work and coming home soon. Biggrin Don't go back.

Anonymous_stepmom's picture

MY GAWD! He needs to get over it! Every kid can be a brat at one time or another, no kid is perfect.

leftfield's picture

This is pretty much what his email said. That all kids can be brats and it's something I need to learn how to deal with if I ever date another man with kids. Uggh.

I am not planning on writing him back. But if I were going to, I'd like to tell him that the fake falling, fake crying and fake blaming that evening wasn't an isolated incident. The boy has done this before and daddy kins falls for it every time. In fact, it happened a couple weeks before the break up when daddy was there. Daddy Kins told the older brother, "don't just stand there when your brother is crying. HELP HIM." Damn baby.

Give the 6 yo kid a break already!! Oh that man gripes me!!!

leftfield's picture

This is pretty much what his email said. That all kids can be brats and it's something I need to learn how to deal with if I ever date another man with kids. Uggh.

I am not planning on writing him back. But if I were going to, I'd like to tell him that the fake falling, fake crying and fake blaming that evening wasn't an isolated incident. The boy has done this before and daddy kins falls for it every time. In fact, it happened a couple weeks before the break up when daddy was there. Daddy Kins told the older brother, "don't just stand there when your brother is crying. HELP HIM." Damn baby.

Give the 6 yo kid a break already!! Oh that man gripes me!!!

alwaysanxious's picture

Ugh. Yeah. Bullet dodged.
Dear ex bf,
Get over yourself. Lose my email.
Signed,
Much happier now

duct_tape's picture

Why in the hell would he be contacting you again? Seven weeks, no communication and now this? Sounds to me like he's trying to engage you. By doing that, he gets the communication going. By doing that, he may get you going. Smile

I would take the opportunity to tell him that his kid's a brat only because he learned it from his father. That he has the potential to be awesome, if it weren't for his extremely inmature and unfair father.

emotionaly beat up's picture

I agree with Ripley and Vibes, however the topic of his email to get the lines of communication open again was a very poor choice and shows very clearly, NOTHING has changed. He still thinks there is nothing wrong with his parenting. Going back, would confirm in his mind that you agree. Although you sound smart enough to not go back, as a mum I have to just say it anyway. Don't go back. Giving into him would only be feeding the monster.