Am I Wrong for not liking my Sd?
My Sd 10 is so mischievous! I have a 4 yr old who loves to play with her or anyone that will play with him. But when my hateful Sd is home she is evil!! She always has been but now I witness it when my husband isn't home. She 'll make my son knock on her door before he enters and if he don't, she yells at him and makes him apologize. I've gotten on to her for that now. But yesterday I made cookies for them and my son wanted to sit next to her and eat them, she didn't know I was looking but she scooted near the edge of the chair and hurried and ate her cookies and said "too bad i'm done" then he asks if she'll play with him and she runs to her room and ignored him. He offers candy to her which is HIS and she ignores him. He asks questions and she ignores him. I bring it to her attention that my son is calling her name and then she'll acknowledge him. Her dad has no clue she like this but when I talk about her to him he defends her. My son gets in trouble for things and my Sd don't. She's mean and rude and hateful. I can't love her but I pretend too for my husbands sake. What do I do? I am so sick of this pretending stuff. I love when she is gone to her moms on weekends. Its peaceful. Lol. My SD likes to accuse my son for alot and he is 4! If he hits her she hits back and then runs to me and tell on him like a dang baby! To me, she shouldn't hit a toddler but let me know he is hitting her so I can get him. She has pushed him so hard to where her friends didn't like her that day and my son was trying to give her a hug! I don't think I can ever love her. I don't single her out b/c I don't want issues in my marriage but why is she a bitch? A 10 year old bitch. Its sad.. and I hate to say it and I hate to not Really love her but what can I do? Help!
When I met DH his daughter
When I met DH his daughter was 10. She was also evil!! I never realized a child so young could be so mean and vindictive!! She hated me from the beginning and tried everything to make me go away. I had a 5 yr old daughter at the time and she was so mean to her. I overheard her telling one of her cousins that my daughter is a bitch and to get her out of the room just be really mean and she will run away crying. My daughter was very sweet and just wanted someone to play with.
SD is now 15. She is still evil. Now me and DH have a 3 yr old daughter who she is really mean to. I constantly have to tell her to knock it off, you are too old for this shit!! She always makes her cry and I will never allow her to babysit either of the kids. I tell BD3 to just stay away from SD and she usually does!
My daughter is now 10 years old and I could never imagine her acting the way SD did when she was 10. Night and day.
I also pretend to like SD. But DH finally sees right thru her. He didn't at the beginning. It took about 3 years for him to realize that she is the shit stirrer and is the mean, selfish, spoiled brat that she is. It helps a little that he sees it but he works 15 hours a day so I still have to deal with her because she has always lived with us fulltime.
And I have to watch myself because every once in a while he pulls the "you hate my daughter" card. If he only knew just how much I really do hate her }:)
Ahhhh, the "you hate my kid
Ahhhh, the "you hate my kid card." My BF has so many of those in this pockets I don't know how he keeps his pants up. Next time he pulls the "you hate my kid" card. I am going to pull my "you bet your ass I do" card. Why lie? It takes more energy.
I can see why you would want
I can see why you would want to do this but please think carefully before you do. I lost my temper and answered with "Of course I do! Why on EARTH would I NOT???" It was the truth - the Holy Trinity are entitled brats who believe to their teenaged bones that the world revolves around them. It is possible that they have some redeeming qualities but they have never shown them in my presence. FH himself admits that they have been spoiled since toddlerhood. However, actually hearing me say that I heartily dislike them was more than he could take and our relationship has never been the same.
Well, what's to like? I
Well, what's to like?
I asked DH this the other day. I was taking the girls out to lunch and to get our feet done, and he said "Are you taking SD5?"
I said "No, I'm not. She's been a pill all morning and I was planning on putting her down for a nap when I put DD23 months down. SD9 and DD8 and I are going for lady lunch and a pedi."
He said "Oh, SD5 would really enjoy that!"
I said "Yea, she probably would. I would have really enjoyed a morning not filled with backtalk and running interference on her while she antagonizes all 3 of her sisters when she thinks I'm not looking. Now we all need a break from her. Maybe she should think about that when she's misbehaving."
You know what he had the nerve to say to me? "Well, I don't think she realized you guys were going to be doing something fun later today."
What damn difference does that make? Nobody else realized it either, but they weren't assholes.
hmmmmmmmmm, well to be honest
hmmmmmmmmm, well to be honest 4 year olds can be pretty annoying.
SD should not be pushing him or hitting him, she probably needs to be told since she never had a younger sibling though- it is amazing how single children don't know the basics of socialising, but they really don't.
My little concern here is that you are really defensive of your 4 year old.He is NOT a baby either anymore.And YES , he should be knocking on her door instead of just running in, sorry!!
Plus if he hits SD and all you complain about is that she hits him back I am a bit worried that you resuse to see both sides of the medal.BS should NOT hit SD and should be told off immediately by yourself or SO.In this case SD wouldn't actually need to defend yourself.
I always disagree with older children being immature and hitting back younger ones,it is wrong of course, but where were you when BS hits her?
Too many times I have seen families where the rights of the younger ones were so out of control because the young sibling gets "babied"- those "babies were hitting , biting and destroying their siblings things etc and got away with their behaviour.The older siblings got in trouble when they defended themselves and their property.....
Skids or Biokids....very typical!!
Onechoosetosmile- I agree the
Onechoosetosmile- I agree the son isn't a baby. I don't baby him at all. Usually I see him or can hear him when he's about to land into the SD. Lol. I stop him and if there's time I don't see... since my SD lies alot on him I send both to their rooms and separate them. She has lied in him about hitting and he never did. That's with witnesses of her friends being around too. They told her she was lying. But ... the thing is she isn't the only sibling. She has 2lied other brothers from her mom one is the same age as mine and the other is a bit older than Sd. Her dad had talked to her numerous times about her actions. She is fine when he home. Sometimes. But its usually when I'm home and she try to be sneaky about stuff. Its to the point I can't stand to look at her. I hate feeling this way. It'd hard to keep pretending.
Kayro- I also agree that they
Kayro- I also agree that they wont be bf's. Me and my siblings are but we are all blood siblings. Lol. Prob. Makes a difference. But I guess he should knock. Lol. Thinking about me being young I wanted privacy too. But the thing is, I don't baby the BS. If he is wrong he is punished. I make him apologize to her but when the tables turn, she don't say Shit. I have to tell her too and she rolls her eyes. And with the hugging he didn't force it. Her friends and my brother said my son was going to give her a hug an when he held out his arms she took them and flipped him and made him hit her wooden bed. I do tell my BS to leave SD alone alot. He will sometimes but I believe that if she can play with him at times too. The only time she want him around is if she too nervous to ask the kid down the street to play so she will take my son with her. Idk. She always been sneaky and a liar. Now its hard to even take her side for anything. She's lied alot but her dad knows too. Thank goodness. I just don't know how to .... really like her since she has done so much crap before.