NO. That is all. Just NO. Actually, HELL NO!

NO! NEVER AGAIN.

Yes.

Absolutely not. It just isn't worth the hassle.

This may sound crazy, but my husband swears that if he had to do all of this custody stuff over again, he would have walked away. He loves my stepson with all of his heart however, we have wasted so much time and money dealing with this situation that my husband regrets the last six years of fighting over visitation times, court, etc. It seems that the more fighting that goes on, the worse the results. If he had just walked away, none of this would be going on. He often times wishes that he had never had a child at all with his ex-wife. I am tired of it all also. We just now got a guardian ad litem report suggesting we have my stepson half of the time, and bio mom is fighting that now. It's a constant battle wasting time, money etc. If I had to go through this again in order to have my wonderful husband and my beautiful children, I absolutely would. If those two things werent an option, than it is NOT worth it at all.

Yes I would do it all over again but I would change some of my victim like ways & thinking. The best thing that ever happened to me, is my DH! His kids put both of us through hell & back but we know that they will someday be of age then it will be fair game depending on what they want down the road.

Til then- Hate to love them & Love to hate them!

I use to say, HELL NO, however I think I would do it again. I would be very very stern from the get go, not get sucked into being the brats babysitter, daycare center and I would make sure she would have lived with her mom. Then I would do it again.

Perhaps not quite No, I would have just handled it differently at the outset and set boundaries then. It is terribly hard to reset the boundaries once other people have eaten into them.

I would say "hell no" to his son living with us. I liked them (skids) better when they lived with their cow mother in a different state.

Not on your life!!! If I had it to do all over again I would have just dated DH or maybe become SOs. Shortly after we married DH and SD turned into people I had never met before. Lots of DH lies and SD hate. It was like some kind of freaky movie. But like Whimsey6, I was, "You really like me!", and afraid of another failed marriage.

NOOOOOOO WAY!!!!!!!!

Good question by the way.

nope -- would not do it again -- not in a million years! my DH has not stood up for me enough to his children,he does not parent his children, and his children are evil and treat me like crap the majority of the time. Why oh why would i want that again? Nope. I am still in the process of considering leaving. I'm giving it a few more months to see what happens. Doing lots of praying because I am at a place that I can't take it anymore. Another fight again today -- fight yesterday. The only time we don't fight it seems is when I'm not here, he's not here, or the kids aren't here. hmmmmmmm common factor there.

i had a friend ask me "what happened?" The kids seemed to like you so much until you got married and then they turned evil!! What in the world happened?!! I said I know, i don't know what happened. Whatever. This is my life right now, such as it may be.

I probably would say "yes", although if you ask me on a different day the answer might just as easily by "no" lol. Simply because I was lucky enough to leave the country with my DH 14 years ago when skids were 13 and 17. We relocated very far from skids and BM which meant that they subsequently came to visit us once or twice a year after that (although he always maintained good contact and he also visited them in their country). I believe that's what has kept our marriage intact. I've told DH this and he agrees with me. We've gone on to have our own 3 bios and I've had a good life with him, being a SAHM. However, the skids' resentment and their behaviour towards me (and DH's unwillingness to step in when he should have) has still eaten away at me emotionally and psychologically.

Just because we no longer live nearby, doesn't mean that the shit all stopped. Even today we are dealing with a rather dramatic twist of events from skids. My DH can luckily see through them far more clearly than he could in the past. That's largely down to him having read quite a bit of Stepmonster and also I've directed him to StepTalk quite frequently.

I suppose, also being removed from direct contact week in, week out, has helped him take a step back from the situation and he has been able to see their "stuff" more objectively.

No way in hell would I ever put myself through this again. If I only knew then what I know now. I had no idea that 14 months of wedded bliss was to be completely wiped out and replaced with 8 years of hell as a result of one phone call from SD who suddenly remembered when she wanted a new car that she had a daddy and demanded that he should supply her with one, he owed her that, and DH actually thought he did and was ever so grateful she had called him................my life from that day forward :sick: :sick: :sick: ........NOPE never ever again.

Of course I would marry my DH again. His spawn have nothing to do with my love for him. I would disengage from the brat starting Day One and be done with it.

I have a really bad mother in law who took the place of a bad BM (BM has been fine and is not jealous or catty). However, I have a bio son (married when I was 36) and he's the love of my life. Thus I would want to marry again in part (large) for him.

I love my H but it's just been really hard. I've moved across the country into his territory and have been really mistreated by my MIL and step DIL and SD.

I'd like to add another option other than yes or no. I'd like to say I'd do it again differently. I would have no expectations of relationship with his family and I would never placate to emotional blackmailing or bullying. I would never, ever try to please his family so they'd like me again. At least I have them to thank for chipping away at the part of me that felt obligated to placate to a narcissist. I recognize them now and have no interest in giving in to their sense of entitlement.

Also I am now able to counsel others on disengagment and dealing with step families. It's really opened my eyes to a whole world I never knew existed.

I had no experience with men that had children. When I did remarry his and my children were adults and it never occurred to me there could be problems. Yes, I would marry him but wish I knew now what I did not know then. All the many years of problems and hurt would have been avoided.

Here are a few things that I learned and would have done differently.

Don't combine any premarital assets. There will always be some unplanned emergency in the steps lives. [because they have never planned for anything] Once you have placed your assets in the spouse's grasp he will start thinking of it as also being his. Before long it ends up in the steps possession for some life threatening emergency. He is not going to disown his children because of an unpaid debt.

Do not start anything that you do not want to be expected to continue. If the kids have spent their life living like white trash it is what they know, They grew up with those standards, mom and dad raised them with those standards. It was their normal before you came along. It is not your job to make up for what 'you think' is lacking in their lives. Do not start hosting the family gatherings, taking the grandkids on vacations, replacing their shabby rags, or trying to show them the better life and experiences they never had. It will all soon be expected of you. Treat them with kindness and respect that you would show an aquaintance neighbor from down the street. Many older generation men never participated in planning much of anything with the children. Do not start making it your job.

Well, I did it a second time although FDH & I aren't technically married we live together and hes the CP to his 3 kuds. My ex was a guilty father being led around by a teen daughter like he was on a leash. I would never do THAT again. FDH is a good father with good kids. BM is the drama beacon but at least FDH & I are united on that front. Truth be told, I'm too far in to bail on FDH & the kids but if I could hit the rewind button I'd chose a different door.

Yes, I would.....

We have a beautiful girl together, and I wouldn't change anything that meant, I would not have her. And, I would not have her, who she is without him, she would be someone different.

What I would change is what others have said. How I handled things with SD from the start.

I love my husband. Unfortunatley the issues with SD are really our only issues, that push us to the brink. He and my son don't get along the greatest, but, that has never pushed us to where SD does over and over to the point of almost divorcing.

I try to keep in mind that I love my husband because he is so caring. But, it's also that soft spot with him that allows SD's behavior to continue. He is caught between a grown child he can't handle and a wife and daughter that he claims he loves more than anything. For me, I guess time will tell, if the man that says can do also.

Not sure if I answered this or not, but no way. Thanks anyway.

no. he has no backbone when it comes to his kids.
he has standards for others that he doesn't expect from his kids.
he can't tell when they are lying (or maybe he doesn't want to).
he believes all their bullsh!t.
he puts them before his marriage.

he's a fool when it comes to them.

i wish i could turn back the clock and get the years i've wasted trying to
do so much for his kids to make him happy. no one really remembers or appreciates
all i did. it was all a waste of my time, energy, and money; things i can never
get back.

they all deserve each other.

Some days? HECK NO! Other days? Yes, because my husband SUPPORTS me and sticks up for me when I have not done anything. As long as he continues to SUPPORT me (if I had done something that would be different of course), then I am in. If not? I am out.