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Inspired by "Daddy"--- "Honey-bun?"

LilyBelle's picture

OK- the Daddy thread made me think of affectionate nicknames Dads call their daughters....

And how far into adulthood does that go??

My godfather called me hot shot, and if he was still living, he'd still be calling me that. I never thought a thing of it when he called me "hot shot".....

But, it makes my skin crawl sometimes when SO calls Princess (his 29 yo daughter) "honey bun." That is very unreasonable of me, I know. And certainly not a battle I will fight, or even say anything about....

It's not just that he calls her honey-bun, it's that the tone of voice changes when he talks to her. He'll answer the phone, "hey honey-bun."

It sounds like he's talking to a GF or a three year old.

Anybody else have any UN-nerving terms of affection used with adult daughters?

checkedoutsm's picture

My DH calls SD pumpkin, which isn't bad except he won't call our daughters pumpkin, like it is a sacred term of endearment only bequeathed unto her. If he calls one of the other girls pumpkin he acts like it was a mistake and corrects himself.

bonnielee's picture

This one caught my eye. My hubby was estranged from is daughter for the first six years of our marriage (her unwillingness to accept me). During that time, one of his nicknames for me was "Goose". Imagine my horror when she visited for the first time and he called her that. I felt like a balloon that someone took an ice pick to. After the second time, I asked him not to call me that again. He slips and does occasionally, but I think I made my point. Men are SO lame at times ~ he didn't even get that it might have been something I felt was an endearment just for me. :?

bi's picture

my exdh always called me "baby". we were not getting along one night, and he heard him say "baby?" i said rather shittily "what?" he bit my head off and informed me he wasn't talking to me, he was talking to his aunt. :O uh, ok. that's f'g gross. he said that to me like i was insane to think he was talking to me. as if it is normal for him to talk to his mom or aunt (the only other people there) like that. and he wonders why i think he's a f'g moron.

bi's picture

i should add that fdh has only ever called sd by her name. he has no nicknames for her at all. Smile

overworkedmom's picture

Ewww... MY exH slipped and called be "baby" a couple of weeks ago and I suddenly felt violently ill.

As for names for adult girls... I am not too sure, my grandfather (I was very very close to him) called me Babydoll. But her was of the 1920's gen and I always thought it was sweet.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Lucky for me we have a big family, so generally DH calls each of the children by their actual name or a derivative of it. Occasionally he calls the little littles something silly like "Snack Pack" or "Taters Nuggets" but nothing like Honey or Babe. That would creep me out. I'm VERY squeamish about the blurring of boundaries in our mixed bag step situation. I never want my daughters or his to feel confused by the dynamic.

marty15's picture

This came up for us recently. My DH has a term of endearment for me, and he uses it all the time. Unfortunately he also uses it on SD! But only rarely.

However the few times I've heard him call her "xxx" it made my skin crawl!!! I told him it made me feel ill and could he please think up/use a different name for each of us. I don't care what it is, as long as they are different. Smile

He seemed to understand, but he still calls me the same name all the time. (Which I like, because it's sweet).

So I guess he decided to think up another one for her??? He better have! Because if I hear her call it again, I'm going to be seriously annoyed! Unless he basically tells me "oops, slipped up" or something. I know habits die hard but... :sick:

One tired chick's picture

My fexfdh -that would be future ex future darling husband as I've moved in with a friend while I search for my own place, and things are still deteriorating - would call me Mrs Squishy, booboo, and bug. To my horror I watched as he hugged his bd tight one day and said, "Who's my mrs squishy? You are!" He also began calling her booboo and his bug. So I started calling my dog booboo, mr squishy and bug. Unfortunately the fucker never picked up on it.

bi's picture

why don't you crawl back under your rock? you come out about once a year just to be a jerk. gee, aren't you original.

Poodle's picture

And :sick:

Helena.Handbasket's picture

OO OO OO

SD16 is babygirl, babe, and when he talks to SS he calls her sissy. I imagine it will never end.

Every once in a while he slips and calls me baby girl and I cringe.

luchay's picture

Thankfully his names for the SKIDS are child friendly!!

Poss (possum) for SD11 and Soldier (which personally I hate) and Champ for SS8.

I am Honey or Sexy or Gorgeous.

And I swear right here and now if he ever calls SD ANY of those that would be a MAJOR issue (especially "Sexy" LOL)

Biomomof2's picture

Maybe I'm missing the issue the Boyf calls everyone hon, sweetie. I get both of those too plus georgeous and sexy. But maybe it is because he uses them on everyone that I don't have a problem. If other women got sexy, I might have an issue with that.

LilyBelle's picture

It's not a huge issue....

I just find it a little weird that SO still calls his 29 year old daughter honeybun in a tone that is the same kind of tone he uses when he's being sweet and loving to me... or with a little kid.

I am a typical deep south lady--- I'll say sweetie or hun to almost everyone, but in the same tone of voice that I always use...

SO called me honey a couple of times and I didn't like it because it sounded like he was talking to his daughter...

findingserenity's picture

Husband calls everybody sweetie.. I prefer him just call me by my nick. Then sd12 starts to call my son sweetie and me on few occasion.. I dont know whether to laugh or get annoyed.. Not really worth fighting about. husband taught my son to call her a nick but she confide to me she doesnt want my son to call her that but her real name, she couldnt correct him cause of fear of upsetting husband.. Wow.. Control freaking husband.. Then I told husband to call me mama and not mommy so my kids wont be confused whenhe talks to his other kids about their mommy but he still does that.i just keep reinforcing mama to my son.it aggravates my f..kk..nn husband.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Lily, thankfully I haven't run into this issue of endearment-term sharing but I do get the whole change of voice thing. I notice the difference in the tone of voice when SO is on the phone with his Adult DD. Definitely a whole different range - not baby talk but more like tender-talk - his voice is softer and higher-pitched. Hard to describe. Like you, it's not anything I would address but it's annoying nonetheless. I look at it this way, he uses the same tone of voice when he talks to our dogs! Smile

asheeha's picture

not terms of endearment. the voice change i get and the EFFORT he puts into having a conversation with them pisses me off. he actually tries to get them to talk to him! he doesn't do that with anybody else.

he just expects me to talk...zero dialogue zero engaging...it's the one thing about dh that is seriously lacking. he thinks it makes him a good listener. :sick: it's pissing me off just thinking about it!

Crazy_in_Ohio's picture

After about six months of dating my SO, I decided to do something about him calling his daughter "honey" in the same tone of voice he'd call me that. He would also defer to her sometimes the same way one might defer to ones spouse. So I sat him down one day and said "Please don't ever call me honey again. And if you continue to defer to your daughter as if she was your wife, we're done" I explained more and he was mortified. I don't think he really realised he was doing it, but I told him that I don't compete for a mans affection in a relationship with his offspring. And I certainly won't be spoken to the same way he speaks to her. He hasn't done it since.