Hi Im new to the forums
I married my girlfriend who I met with two kids, a 4yo and a 1yo. I really love her but I hate children so much. I know I walked into this marriage with my eyes open and am still willing to make the sacrifices necessary to live with her two kids but I need a place to vent. The 1yo screams constantly, makes the house smell bad, and is a huge burden. The 4yo is disgusting. I am the only one that cares if he washes his hands after the bathroom, cares if he showers after he uses the bathroom (its usually everywhere its disgusting), or cares if he eats outside of the kitchen. I try to keep the house tidy and respectable but when I leave my wife alone with them I come home to crumbs all over the floor and random toys laying around the living room. I hate those kids so much. I also hate that their biological fathers are deadbeats and don't pay any sort of child support. It's like life played a cruel trick on me where I met my dream girl but am forced to raise the mistakes she made with other men. Both kids were unwanted pregnancies and everyday on my way to work I wonder why she didn't have abortions. I wish she had aborted them, our lives would be so perfect with out them. It makes me sick when people at my work ask me how the baby is because its not my baby, I hate it. I want to say "broken condom of that deadbeat idiot my wife slept with is fine thanks for asking". Those two kids will never be mine nor do I want them to be. It sounds cruel of me but I hate it when they laugh, I hate to seem them smile. I am happy when they're in their rooms sleeping. There is something so biologically fundamentally wrong with raising another man's children. I don't care how "innocent" they are, I will always remind them that I am not their father and never to come to me for anything.
.....wow.... Why even bother
.....wow....
Why even bother marrying this woman then?
I think you should get a
I think you should get a divorce telling Mom that you've made a huge mistake and just can't abide any children. Get a vasectomy and don't get involved with any other women who have or want children.
There are plenty of women who agree with your slant on children and I must say you're not out of line providing you realize it and don't get involved in parenting at any level. I.e. don't hurt the kids as you plan to do with these by constantly reminding them that you're not even a nice Uncle set aside a father figure.
The thing is you don't know
The thing is you don't know what it will be like until you all live together, I was a sm before with 2 skids and they were lovely, I raised them for 8 years, so I thought no problem to do it again its part time now and shes only 6, but my God did she give me hell, I had no idea that a little girl could make my life hell, have you tried asking your wife to be a bit tidier?
I don't understand how
I don't understand how someone can hate a 1 year old. They are still babies, even at 4 years old.
I could under stand if they were around a older age, but hating them this young is just not normal.
You are perfectly within your
You are perfectly within your rights to ask her to keep the house cleaner, whoever works less should do more housework, male or female, at least its your house, Im not in that situation and its harder trust me, it is the mothers fault that the kids act like this and that the house is dirty not the kids, you say that in some ways she is perfect so its worth trying to change things, sit down and calmly tell her what you need to change, it would annoy most people to come home from work to a mess, once the problems are addressed you will feel better about everything, it depends on wether you decide to change things in a constructive manner?
Venting is good. Get it out.
Venting is good. Get it out. Now realize its not the kids. Your DW is gross and unhygienic. Any mom who wants healthy children will teach her 4 year old to wash their hands after using the bathroom and making sure they shower regularly.
Toys are a given, get used to it. Crumbs, well mom needs to clean up more after her children and she needs a talking to about this.
If a 1 year old is making the house smell bad its because MOM isn't changing or keeping baby clean.
You married a lazy ass. Be realistic here. Its not the kids, you just project your anger on to the kids. Its your wife.
Also, her vagina was a necessary component to having those children along with the deadbeat dads you speak of. Accidental for her? Maybe, but women know how to use birth control and those accidents could have just been laziness on hers and their father's part.
I agree with you that it is difficult trying to raise someone else's child. Rethink your relationship. I'm sure the sex isn't that good and I'm sure if you evaluate the situation you will find that her parenting is what is bothering you. Not the children.
I think u marrying this girl
I think u marrying this girl was wonderful and taking on her 2 was wonderful. They are still young. With u being in their life and in the picture it could change if u allow it! You don't want to be their father and that's fine but they will look at you as one and will respect you. You can be a good role model for them and help teach them things. They wont grow to hate you as much as u hate them if you just change your mind set. I would mos def get fixed if you want no children but make sure the wifey knows. And just ask the wife if she can help you keep the house clean more. Atleast pick up the kids mess before you get home that's a start. Just ask her. The 4 yr old can put his toys up in his room. So the mom needs to help him learn to do that. This could be solved if u are willing to solve it. I hope the best for you tho! Good luck!! And its ok to vent.