will daddy ever get sick of BM or he is a lost cause????
They've been divorced for almost 4 years now. They were only married for 2. She had an affair and stayed with her boyfriend for 3 years post divorce. Now that she and her boyfriend are over, she and baby daddy are practically best friends. She has added all of his family to facebook - mom dad, sisters, nephews. She and baby daddy call each other randomly and just chit chat. They go on outings together "for their son" - Museums, amusement parks, dinner.
He swears their is no rekindling in the making - that he'd never be able to trust her. But what makes me even more upset his how she is suddenly showing interest in his other son. Since his other son is her sons brother, she is very involved in his life all of a sudden. She has him over for sleepovers, buys him big gifts for birthdays, and refers to them as "the boys" on facebook. i.e., "Look at how small the boys were", or, "I'm making a cake for my favorite boys." and basically treats him like she is still his SM.
Is there something wrong with this picture??? She divorced him for another man and now everyone wants to act like nothing happened. And how is this beneficial to "the boys"?
No, don't have kids. I was
No, don't have kids. I was really warming up to his other son and now I feel like I've been bumped by her. Aren't outings and dinners, etc.....and driving there in the same car together.... things that families do together?? They aren't a family.
Just wanted to make sure I
Just wanted to make sure I wasn't off my rocker by being bothered by this and feeling this way. I'm leaving him. Two years together all down the drain.
I hope she ends up going back to her ex boyfriend.
You are the pretty girl that
You are the pretty girl that bm got jealous of and,now she realizes,He CAN do better! But she can't so, now she needs to get him back! It may be something harmless on his part but could lead to problems later!:) You could do so much better!!!!!
No, I don't think this is it.
No, I don't think this is it. She didn't bother us for 2 years. They had a nice working relationship for 2 years with boundaries.
But now that she is suddenly single and pretty much friend-less, she is latching on to what she used to have and gave up. And I think it's feeding boyfriends ego. She apparently left boyfriend for someone else because boyfriend was emotionally abusive to her while married. But now that they are suddenly bff's, I think boyfriend is feeling like, "See, I wasn't such a bad guy afterall" and is lapping it all up.
I am left in the dust. His other son is all about her now because she is spoiling him rotten, perhaps out of guilt and making up for lost time. I'm suddenly chopped liver. But it's fine. They can have each other. I don't forsee them lasting very long....whatever type of relationship this really is. And maybe oned ay he will see where I was coming from. But by then, it will be too late.
He said I'm causing too much
He said I'm causing too much drama with NOT being ok with this. I'm not causing any drama. I am just voicing my concerns with him.
And with that, he said he does not forsee anything changing between him and BM. He said they both enjoy being "good" friends and it's best for their son this way.
What happens when DH and BM
What happens when DH and BM fight and stop hanging out?
I asked him this exact question. He said they won't stop hanging out and they won't fight because they are both on the same page now. They want their son to be happy. Their sons happiness is the most important thing to both of them.
I asked why they divorced, if only to act married again.
He said when they got married, they didn't really know each other very well. She got pregnant within 3 months of dating, and he married her when she was 2 months preggo. But now, according to him, they know each other better and he considers her a good friend and a great mom. Ugggh.
My ending sounded
My ending sounded better!!!!ol
MOVE ON!!!!You are young and kid less,focus on your career,have fun and date around!
Ex sex is best. Tell him he
Ex sex is best.
Tell him he is welcome to be civil and all that and if she's invited to family doings well that's up to the host(ess).
Develope a interest in museums and go along for the ride and see how they interact. Perhaps its just my ego but I've always thought I could tell if a couple had been intimate as lovers. Not married folks as such but lovers trying to be descreet. A look - a touch. I've not been wrong so far and you can probably do the same.
O. M. G!! Umm.. Youve gotta
O. M. G!! Umm.. Youve gotta be kidding me!!! No. No. No. No!!
This is rediculous!! IF they are going to be doing things together for the kids sake, YOU should be there by HIS side, NOT her!!!! All they are doing is confusing the hell out of this kid!!!! Hell no!!!
My ex & i are extremely civil for our kids sake. Alot of people commend us on how we are jointly raising our daughter!! I said "civil" by the way, NOT friends!!! My DH is by my side everywhere we go & vice versa!!! Id have a shit fit if MY hubby went anywhere alone with BM!! Same goes, hed be pissed royally if i went anywhere alone with my ex!!
These are the boundsries you do NOT cross!!
The ONLY reason they are doing this is because they both WANT to!!! Hun-- this is NO good for anyone-- especially the kid. All kids foster hope that their parents will get backbtogether!!! The moment this pathetic "for the kids sake" meetings end- on either of their parts-- that poor kid is going to go back to when their parents broke up all over again!!! Thats torture for that poor kid!!!! Exes are exes for a reason!!!!
Insert yourself into these "family" meetings!!!!! See how quickly they end!!! They are still trying to make things work hun!!!! Thats why YOU are excluded from these meet ups!! Sorry- but Id ditch him quickly if he wont put you back in the place as his spouse!!!
I feel like puking. I bet
I feel like puking. I bet they are fucking each other again.
And btw, I'm not his wife. I'm his girlfriend of 2 years. When we met, he has been divorced 2 years.
I'm leaving him tonight. I'm sick of feeling like this. Thanx for confirming that their relationship isn't how it should be. Some of the newer books all claim that their type of rship is ideal for the kids, so I've been confused.
I can't help but HOPE that this too shall pass. I hope their new "friendship" is just her rebounding. Her fallback guy. Like i said, she is recently single. I hope her ex boyfriend comes back into the picture and sweeps her off her feet again. And I hope my boyfriend is left standing in their dust. hahahha.
I spy on her fb page with a
I spy on her fb page with a fake account. Sorry.
Anyway, her latest wall post has a pic of my man playing a game at Chuckie Cheese with both boys. She captioned the pic with, "At Chuckie Cheese with a few of my favorite men." :jawdrop:
Oh dear!! Well hun, I guess
Oh dear!! Well hun, I guess that post kinda confirms your thoughts & feelings!! Shes playing nicey- nicey with the other boy that isnt hers- just to get on your mans good graces!! My post earlier stands with what I feel about your situation- it doesnt matter if your married to him or just dating him or been with him for two years!!
IF this relationship still means alot to you, and if your still in love with him, you could still try to make it work, but, strong strong boundaries would need to be set up. First one would need to be NO more of these "family" meetings without you present. Youve been with him for two years!! IF they are trying to take the approach (which i dont believe in) of having both parents at activities for the "kids sake" and they are "just friends" then there is no reason why you or her future man to be excluded!!!! If you were there, the kids would still have gotten what they "needed" by still having both parents present!!
What is his reasoning as to why you arent present? Im wondering what his excuse is? Im not saying you should stay with him or leave him. Do you have an ex that you could start spending time with? What would he say to that? I bet he would be irate!!
Listen to your gut. If you
Listen to your gut. If you don't like it--no matter how "innocent" it really is--then that's enough reason to break up. You don't HAVE to tolerate things just because...what are you doing while they are playing family? You don't need to be collateral damage to their crap.
You have enough evidence, now
You have enough evidence, now get out quick and don't have long humiliating debates about it with him. Our BM did this with her next baby father after DH. She strung the BF along between other lovers for a number of years. We also have a cousin who is a serial marrier, has several women all on each other's tails with his various kids. Good on you for getting that FB material. Doesn't matter if he's not intending anything -- she is, therefore something will happen sooner or later. Chuck him.
Leave him NOW. He is sleeping
Leave him NOW. He is sleeping with her (probably as your reading this) get out of this relationship now.
What...no no no
If this was a kidless guy and doing these outings with his ex would you still be questioning your judgement?
This has all sorts of red flags written all over it
Cut your losses and Leave NOW!