I am a GAL. We are THAT busy and guess what? She is not OBLIGATED to talk to people you tell her to talk to. She has to make an independent assessment, which may mean she talks to people you didn't list, purposely because you didn't list them. Kids teachers, principals, doctors, friends, etc, are not immune. But, she also isn't obligated to talk to anyone but the kids....

When is your court date? If it isn't this week, it's pretty easy to imagine she isn't doing much on the case. I never do. I have 352 ad litem kids, do my investigations based on MY criteria which may or may not include talking to the people parents suggest (FYI we aren't dumb, we know if you suggest them they will take your "side" generally). Your attorney pestering her will only annoy her, and again, her job is to remain INDEPENDENT of what you want, so it won't spur her on to do anything on your timing.

The role of the GAL seems quite misunderstood here, and that's too bad. The attitudes I see from parents here, if presented to the GAL on the case, will likely only prove negatives in your case.

The job "you" are paying me to do is statutorily mandated, and it isn't a client-attorney relationship with "you." My independent judgment means I will investigate what I feel needs investigated, and it may or may not ever get back to you that I did so, since most of the people I talk to agree to talk to me confidentially without discussing with you what or even THAT I spoke to them. It will all turn up, at least what is relevant, in my recommendation - but you very likely won't know about it before, since I am not your attorney. I technically an attorney of the COURT, not of the parents or the child per se - I represent the child's best interest, not the child him or her self.

As for you "paying me" it is generally nowhere near the attorney's hourly rate in your area, and in fact you are not paying me at your will be at the DIRECTION of the court - not quite the same...

If your lawyer pesters me I will likely ignore him until I am ready to deal with him, when it is timely for the actual case. Since in any normal week I have twenty to one hundred cases going to court, and yours is not happening next week, I won't be messing with it until it is time. Probably the week before your court date. Until then, you are a blip on the radar, and as sad as that is, you will need to blame a system that does not pay well, heaps work on to too few heads at a cutrate speed, and a legislature which allows this to happen. Go take a gander at your supreme court's GAL standards, and then at the statutes of your state which mandate what a GAL MUST do and what they MAY do and then carefully read through the lines about what they don't have to do (contact people because you say so).

Please do not be mistaken into believing that since you paid some small amount - what, maybe $1500? In most markets that is five hours of an attorney's normal pay - including court appearances and waiting for the same; interviews with you and your child and the other parent; home visits if that applies; interviewing social workers, teachers principals, etc; filing recommendations; writing recommendations; phone calls; attending any conferences that occur about your case (some you will never know even happen btw).

And that is if you are fortunate enough to make that kind of money for an appointment. I work the child abuse and neglect docket, have four times the number of cases that is ethical for an attorney, am paid less than 40K a year and that's with no benefits and paying my own taxes. I work my job because I LOVE THE KIDS. I really don't enjoy the parents who spend much of their time (and waste a lot of mine) trying to volley and gesture and push their own positions. I am very very capable of figuring out who is what and what is needed, without talking to the your mom and your neighbor and the man who saw you and your kid at Wal-mart last week. I stick to professionals - teachers, doctors, principals, social workers, pastors - because those people are not easily fooled and have a more professional role with your child. And oh. I trust your kid, when they talk to me alone (and they all do, because THEY are my priority - I visit them at school and you will never even know it in many cases).

So, give me twenty thousand names of people who will vouch for what a great god-fearing lady or gentleman you are, and I will be unlikely to call any of them. I am also not required to do so. I will get to the truth I need to get to. I'm not an idiot or a trained monkey. I know what the state requires of me and suggest you find that information yourself so you can have an adequate understanding of the GAL in your case and what is actually legally required of them. I think it will be eye opening.

I am a stepmom also.

SD (15) has just been diagnosed with conduct disorder, and has committed violence against my child, and against her dad and against her own BM as well. As far as BM, I doubt we would have been best buds ever, but all the adults in this picture are attempting to stay on the same page and work together to get SD help. So yes, there are some issues for sure.

Other SD is fine, and we just babysat my step GD last night.

This is an interesting thread. I'm VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY thankful my kid will never EVER EVER have a GAL. What a freaking nightmare.

I personally wish no kids ever needed them. When a GAL is appointed in either domestic or CA/N cases, it generally means the adults in the child's life have failed the child in some way, either by straight out abuse/neglect or by failing to put the child ahead of themselves. It's pretty sad really. It would be best if the only kids who had GALs were the ones who were mentally ill, or suffering actual abuse/neglect. In most cases when a judge appoints a GAL in a domestic case, he or she is really saying, this mess is so f'd up, I don't want to deal with it any more than the kid does, but it sure doesn't rise to abuse or neglect. So here, GAL, you get in the trenches and figure out what this kid needs to get this case out of my docket.

So, you already assume the parents have failed the kid in some way. I thought GALs were required to be impartial and be a voice for the child. If you begin with the assumption both parents failed, I am glad my kids won't ever need a GAL as well.

I'm never appointed to cases where to parents are doing great resolving their issues for the kids' sake. Those cases don't need GALs. So it's just a fact. Normal kids with healthy family systems don't get GALs. Somewhere along the way a family has failed if I have to be inserted into their family/child's life. It's just a fact. Not a doomed to death scenario but a definite sign that the family requires intervention by outside parties. It's sad when parents cannot parent without me. It's sad for kids. So i hope you never require a GAL appointment too. Best practices are to have a businesslike relationship with your ex, get a mediator to
Help you resolve issues you disagree on, and don't concern yourself with his or her personal life/new partner/etc. We all know you don't love each other anymore. Just love your kid enough to remember that this other person is the one YOU chose to parent with.

Agreed. My own divorce was about as amicable as they come but I know of a couple instances when one parent's mental illness ( hospitalized for safety a few times-severe) interfered with parenting but the other parent went above and beyond. One in particular definitely did not fail his kids. He stood up for his kids and raised them practically on his own at a time it was rare for Dads getting custody.

Blanket statements that parents are failures make me wonder if you are burnt out. I know I could not do your job. Thanks for standing up for kids!