The question of… a will
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I don’t have a will right now
I know that if I have one drawn up, he’d probably divorce me right now, because I’d leave his son out of it...completely and I’d see to it that there would be no way for him to directly benefit from my dying.
I’d split the estate between his daughter and my girls.
If my step-daughter felt generous, she could share her 1/3 with him.
Do you have a will and how are you handling the step-kids in your will?
I am in the process of
I am in the process of creating a will. DH's kids will get nothing of mine when I pass. We are having it written that even the house that we live in will be split 50-50 between my husband and me and then split accordinly.
They will not get one single cent from me!
BE CAREFUL HOW IT IS
BE CAREFUL HOW IT IS WORDED...
If you are not careful and have the house 50/50...and the skids are minors, you could end up owning half a house with BM being in control of half! :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
We actually wrote wills about
We actually wrote wills about 2-3 months ago. They are basically identical. Since our youngest son is only 7 i told my husband that if god forbid anything happened to both of us i wanted to make sure that he was taken care of, so in the event that if something happens to either one of us, the other spouse gets everything, if something happens to us both then our son together gets it all.
I left the step-kids out.
And here is why, the are all in their mid to late 30's, and as far as i am concerned, perfectly capable of making their own money. SD inherited 250k with her husband when they first got married (husband was only child and his dad passed away). They promptly burned through it all in a matter of 2 years or so. They are now on section-8 housing, collecting welfare.
Middle son, does not talk to father because he acts like his dad "owes him" and has mentioned to others on more than one occasion that he is entitled to what daddy has. Both my husband and I stopped talking to him and visa versa. The only time the unemployed jerk calls is when he needs money.
The youngest, married, has own house, own life, makes good money. I think he will be fine.
I did say to the attorney that as my son got older (18-21) and does not need all of the money to survive I will revise the wills to include my youngest stepson. He is the only one i wish to leave anything because he is the only one that treats me like a human being, is respectful and kind and mature.
So in the end - 50 to my youngest son and the other 50 to my youngest SS.
Hope that helps!
My husband provides for his
My husband provides for his children and I provide for mine. There is no reason to think my stepkids would get something. My hard work is for my bioson...
DH's money has some set aside for his kids and life insurance and 401K for me. Same as I do for him everything else of mine goes to my son and his goes to his.
We did ours last summer If
We did ours last summer
If one of us dies, everything goes to the other
When we are both gone, 20% goes to SS and 80% goes to our kids together.
You are not legally obligated
You are not legally obligated to leave your stepkids anything after you pass away.
I may get slammed for this,
I may get slammed for this, but....my boyfriend has been hinting at marriage, and we have been talking about things that I need for us to be able to be married (see my recent blog). His adult children are hateful, nasty, vile people. Neither he nor I have much, but I told him one of my conditions of getting married is that his kids are being left NOTHING in his will. If we get married, he and I will be drawing up wills and getting life insurance, and his kids are to get NOTHING. We will leave everything to each other, which is not much, and if something happens to both of us, we have family members in mind (my bf has an amazingly nice younger brother and some sweet nephews). The point is, my bf's kids are not getting one cent. They ONLY call for money, he has never gotten a birthday card or gift (ever) and they are 18, 19, 22. They have done some terrible things to my bf and me, and his relationship with them is strained and distant, bc they only see him as a check. If he does propose, they will probably have tantrums and want to know what he spent on my ring.
Hoping I do not come off as a horrible person, because this is so new for me, as I have never met such awful people....his kids make me SICK. His ex has a 500K term policy on him, and they have joked about poisoning his food.
I see nothing wrong with
I see nothing wrong with this...If he has no relationship with them, why should they benefit after he is gone. I would leave it all to charity...
Thanks. He loves these kids,
Thanks. He loves these kids, and they crap all over him. They don't deserve a thing, although they claim that bc they are "blood," they will always come first.
I see nothing wrong with it
I see nothing wrong with it either. If you had asked me the will question 15 years ago i would have said "Oh divide it up among all the Skids" but as i get older and they are older and still financially stupid, why?
They treat us like wallets (except for youngest, who finally gets it) and have absolutely no concept of money. My husband and I came into this marriage with about 5 cents to scrape together. I am not trying to toot my own horn but i am the saver and investor... not my husband. His kids just assume it is all about them and its his money. No... it is ours, hard earned by both of us working our butts off.
Something they are all capable of doing but instead choose to sit around waiting for money to drop in their lap.
Just the other day SD calls whining about money after spending several thousand on a communion. WTH?
Consequently, my youngest SS moved to Florida, and bought a beautiful townhome with his new wife. They both work and now his brother and mother harass them constantly for money. It is disgusting.
The silver lining to all of this is that SS says "Dad, now i get it. They all have their hands in your wallet!"
Bingo!!!!!!
Same here. If I die, all my
Same here. If I die, all my money goes to DH. I have asked him to allocate it between my family members (no bio-children of my own yet). If he dies I will set up a trust for his children's portion of his estate. If we both pass, his children still get the exact same amount they would have if only he had passed. I have other people in my life that I want to take care of before them upon my death. I don't ask DH to provide for my family so I shouldn't have to provide for his and he understands and accepts this 100%.
I am leaving nothing to
I am leaving nothing to skids. If DH dies before me, they get nothing.
We have a TRUST, which cannot
We have a TRUST, which cannot be broken. A WILL can be contested. You might want to consider a TRUST instead of a WILL.
We have our Trust set up so that my son gets certain things, and his kids get other things.
We thought long and hard on this, and we figured that after we both die, we don't really care who gets what. We aren't there to deal with it any longer.
Unless we both die at the same time, the TRUST doesn't kick in.
If my DH goes before I do, I will be changing the TRUST. If I go before my DH, he can do what he wants, it doesn't matter to me.
If one dies, the other gets
If one dies, the other gets everything of course. If I die last our DS gets it all. If DH dies last our DS gets 50% and SS's get 25% each. I hate it but I guess I understand unless the completly F up in the future as I expect. Should they as adults get into trouble, said trouble maker who would blow the money will be promptly cut out.
Mine is set up when DH dies
Mine is set up when DH dies if I survive I get everything. When I die BD gets 70% then SD get 10% and I have a provision for a child who is near and dear to me to recieve 10%. Since we moved to a new state I am rethinking my will entirely!
I really don't carewhat my DH says, it is MY WISHES!
That's the thing, my DH is 15
That's the thing, my DH is 15 years older than I am, so unless (heaven forbid) I get sick, he's probably going to die before me
I've never had a will
When we got married, DH went to an attorney and updated his will, if he precedes me in death, everything goes into my name. The pension and 401K and insurance policies are already set up with me as the benficiary
If something should happen to me, before he dies, then everything would go to him, I get that...
I am thinking if he goes before me, I want my will to state NOTHING to my step-son
Really, I feel he's usurping his portion of the inheritence NOW while he's still living in our home, rent free, with his girlfriend and baby, once I go, he will already have "used" up every dime that would have otherwise gone to him anyway, so whatever assets are left when I die, should be given to the SD, and my two biokids, who haven't been draining us financially for so many years...
(am I a horrible person for thinking that way?)
We just started a will. Here
We just started a will. Here is what i think about will's in general.... children are not entitled to anything because they have been given life on this earth and they breath.... period! Both my husband and myself spent 20 years building a nest egg from hard work and savings (neither of these things my step kids can even comprehend as they are so stupid with money and grub every second they get a chance). I told my husband flat out that i am not leaving a dime to my middle stepson. Our wills are identical except for this one item. If they piss me off then i may leave all the money i have when i die to the local animal shelter.... sounds harsh, yes. I look at it this way, they have every opportunity on this precious earth to make their own way in life, work hard and have wealth. If they are waiting around for somebody to die in order to do something with thier life, well that is pathetic. Either way, if that is the case, they will be waiting a very long time for me. All the women in my family live to about 95 lol....
You are so right - an
You are so right - an inheritence is a GIFT and not a birthright as my ex-husbands's second brat seems to think.
NO LONGER an issue for us as we will be divorced soon. Now dh can just split everything 4 ways between the kids (his 2 and our 2) even though his second so deserves NOTHING because so much has been given to him and "loaned" to him and NEVER paid back already.
As for me - easy. Everything goes to MY two kids - if there is anything. I do have life insurance naming my children as co-beneficiaries.
we have a trust with
we have a trust with everything going to the spouse. upon the surviving spouse's death, it's split 50% to his three kids and 50% to my one.
however, if i find out that i'm dying before him and i have enough time, i will divorce him before i die because i feel certain he will cheat my son out of my half of our estate. sad but true.
Having just lost my husband
Having just lost my husband and embroiled in a legal mess with his kids in spite of a trust, I plan to leave everything to charity. His kids have treated me so badly they will never see a dime.
His $ goes to me if he dies
His $ goes to me if he dies first and vice versa. Then, if we both die, the $ goes mainly our son because he is so young and will need care. If, when our son is grown, my H dies first I would probably leave anything that is through inheritance from his mom to his kids and mine because I feel that's fair (split between the g-kids). Since his ex took the house he helped pay for for years I would leave my house I had before we married (and I have to work for) to my son.
I have no problem with him leaving his children whatever he wishes (his art etc..) I just want to know what he wants to leave them when he goes. As far as whatever other assets we may incur until then I have no idea. I really want to be fair keeping in mind many of his assets earned earlier in life will likely be bequeathed to him via his ex. I've always liked the idea of giving $ to charity when I die too.
I do not have a will and we
I do not have a will and we have been talking about getting one together.
Do you guys have any advice? We have been married since last fall, together for 4 years.
DH has 3 kids, 2 in their early 20s, one in high school.
I have my 2 teenagers. The assets we brought to the marriage are pretty evenly
balanced but all of my money goes to us, while a third of his salary goes toward
child support. It is slated to go down in a month when his son turns 21.
Do i assume that my kids will be cared for by their biodad and leave everything to my husband?
They will have to go live with him if i die but do i appoint my DH estate executor or whatever the term is and tell him to use my half of the money to support my kids?
I am clueless about wills.
Another thing is his life insurance that he says he put my name on but his divorce agreement stipulates that he will keep the ex on it for as long as the kids not grown (the YSD will be 21 in 4 years, the other two are now emancipated). I certainly want DH to love long and prosper! But what kind of nightmare will be in store for me if this thing ever gets to court?
Any feedback welcome!
I read some of your post and
I read some of your post and I learned a lot of knowledge from it. Thanks for posting such interesting articles.
uk dissertation advice
Yup, BM could be in control
Yup, BM could be in control of the kids share if they are minors, if your DH dies.
Our will is, everything except a small amount of money to SS goes to me and our children. (Since I'm the moneymaker anyway), and if I die first, everything tangible goes to our children, but he can use and live in the house, if the children are minors, it's split 50-50 between him and the children, until they reach a certain age, and if they fulfill the requirements (no felonies, in school, or have a job) then they will receive it at 22. If they don't fulfill the requirements, there will be a second age that they can "redeem" themselves, and if not, it will be further split.
If we both die, it goes to our children (except a small amount to SS) and my sister will become their guardian.
We're not so worried about the will thing, because EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, is in my name, except for his one checking/savings account. (But then again, I bought everything too.) So SS wouldn't get anything anyway. I shudder to think he gets a portion of my house and then moves BM in. Hell fucking no.
DH is also like that, so he'd rather pay me rent than co-own the house in case he passes.
I have a small son so he
I have a small son so he would need the majority of our estate due to our age (there isn't much). I would try to be fair keeping in mind that H's ex has a house that he put a lot of money into and walked away from when he found she was having an affair. So the place I had before I was married would go to my son. Anything else would be split between the kids as fair as I can.
I just found out that older
I just found out that older SD is trying to get my DH to change his will so that if anything happens to him she get her "share". She is scared that if he goes first and I get everything she will end up with nothing or close to it. When I heard this I was livid - the nerve of her to sabatoge my golden years standard of living by her greed. I have worked as hard or harder than DH to build our assets! She has a husband who earns good money and they are living quite comfortably - albeit above their means. She has no right inherit any $ before both DH and I are gone. If DH goes before me I will leave her something (only so that she cannot contest it and say she was left out), but it won't be much. Maybe enough for a new coat.
I would just like to know why
I would just like to know why we all think that our kids deserve anything..I didn't get, nor expect anything from my parents..what they earned and had was theirs..my SD talks about her inheritence like it is her right to get her fathers things...she is married, works 2 jobs has a hubby who works 3 jobs and has everything she needs..sorry about your lucky SD, but your daddy owes more than he owns and the house will be mine.
My thoughts exactly. When my
My thoughts exactly. When my mother in law passed away about 7 years ago, my SS was hovering around like a vulture. He thought that grandma was going to leave everything to the grandkids. She created her will about 15 years prior and basically kept it simple, sell everything and divide it equally among her children. Well he was shocked and basically accused her of "not being in her right mind" when she wrote the will out. Ahhh OK, she seemed perfectly competent and "with it" to me as she chatted with me over coffee and chocolate donuts once a week 15 years ago.
Then after everything was allocated SS thought my husband should basically give it to his kids (meaning him, sis and other brother), which my husband did not do. We used the money to pay down debt and left the rest in the bank because we really did not have much in savings. We did give him a few thousand and helped my SD with a deposit on an apartment. That was it...
Well that really pissed him off. To this day, he whines that he should have gotten something when his grandmother passed away.
A few years after that my sister in law died of lung cancer, a tragedy. Once again SS and SD are the only ones out of all the "kids" hovering around like vultures. My sister in law was in the hospital and called a lawyer to finalize her will. We expected absolutely nothing from her. We just hoped that she would kick that horrible disease and be healthy. Well she had planned on leaving everything to just her one sister and brother, nothing for the rest (this included my husband). We shrugged our shoulders and thought nothing of it. We did not care who she left what to... her business. We just wanted her to get better.
Anyway, a few days later she unexpectly went into a coma and passed. The will was never finalized and went into probate. We did end up with something. But, she had very little assets and a lot of debt. This was no surprise to me. So by the time things were paid off and assets allocated we ended up with about 22k total. It was just enough to pay down a huge medical bill (my son had several open heart surgeries). That was it, then the money was gone.
To this day, my SS is completely convinced that his aunt was a "millionaire" and that in turn because we got a small inheritence that we are also "millionaires" I am not kidding, he says this to his sister all the time! It is almost comical. He is also still holding a grudge that when his aunt passed he did not "get" any of those millions either.
So here he still sits, unemployed and 35 living with mommy and watching cable TV all day...waiting for something to drop in his lap. Just the other day the BM was whining to youngest SS that my husband refuses to help him and that thier relationship is screwed up. Yea! It is screwed up because all my husband is to him is a bank!
Why do these Skids think that they are automatically entitled to anything just because they were born? Look at Warren Buffet, he leaves his estate to charity... kids get nothing. I think because they know this they are successful and make their own way in life.
SS is finally getting that daddy is not bailing him out. Went and got a part time job last week. Wow! Only took 5 years. Sad, by the time he get's it 100 percent he is going to be 80 and destitute. If he is waiting for anymore inheritance it will be a cold day in you know what. My will leaves him nothing.... my husbands will same....
I am working on one now.He is
I am working on one now.He is leaving everything to his daughter and ungrateful adopted son.I will leave everything to my kids adn grandkids....or maybe to a charity !