Can't hide my feelings, I suck at disengaging and FDH is clueless
Same shit different day with SD- just need to vent
SD15 showed up yesterday as a "surprise" after 3 wonderful weeks of her not wanting to come home. FML, I really enjoyed it while it lasted though!!!! }:)
FDH hops up and he's so happy she came to see him (understandable) She says nothing to me, which is fine I had my back to her and I just can't help but b a cold bitch to her and I really don't care. And from what I have read since I let her affect my mood and what not I really haven't disengaged. WEll I guess I suck at it. She f***** us over last time she was home, told my daughter to lie to us, lies about us constantly and manipulates every situation to her benefit. I haven't looked at her, talked to her, nothing. I'm still angry and I cannot say hi and pretend like everything is cool when I can't stand her ass, and she isn't held accountable for anything (I do understand this is FDH's fault as well). I don't have anything nice to say so I'm not saying anything. Last time I saw her I snapped on her, we haven't spoke since.
SD and BM of course are in cahoots together and make FDH out to be the worst parent ever who doesn't care about his kids and puts everyone else before SD............What??? :? ummm even though he provides everything financially and begs to see her and SD punishes him bc he wouldn't let her go to her friends cabin so she refuses to come over, and BM is the best and lets SD do whatever she wants even though she's supposed to be grounded. So then the court threats are made, and the rude texts start coming from BM.
Fdh within 10 min of SD showing up, takes her to the computer and shows her where we are going on vacation.........FDH- Do you not remember the last time she was here and she was crying bc WE are going on vacation and not taking her and we only care about ourselves and we aren't fair and haven't taken her anywhere blah blah blah. Why are you showing her anything???? I also know it's going right back to BM (not a big deal) but that bitch doesn't need to know our business either! It's more ammo for them to throw back at him, Am I crazy for thinking this???
Hmmm wonder y SD surprised us? Yup, you guessed it!!! Ding ding ding! SHE WANTS SOMETHING!!!!!! Fdh just called and said he's gotta take her school shopping, no wonder that little tramp showed up.
OMG you have the younger
OMG you have the younger version of my SD, shes not really rude just very conniving. Always wanting something, ugh. SD21 will do something really nice when she is about to ask her dad for something, then a day or two will go by tops and shes asking for money or to go clothes shopping, or to pay something, etc etc etc. I can't stand her.
We can tell by SD21's voice
We can tell by SD21's voice when she wants something. It's pretty funny 'cuz she is a terrible liar, a terrible manipulator, and she never wins but the girl keeps on tryin'!
She really is not cut out for it but BM has her convinced it's how you get what you want. It has not worked out very well for her or her mother.
I'm very honest about my
I'm very honest about my feelings to DH, He knows how I feel and understands why, he just wishes it were different. You hit the nail on the head, SD is taught that her dad owes her bc of the divorce. Everything negative is blamed on DH and everything positive is bc of BM. It's so frustrating, thats where I find it hard to disengage my feelings bc I LOVE FDH with all my heart and feel really sad he has such a crappy, entitled selfish brat daughter who sucks him dry and then shits on him. I feel like that about anyone I love and care about that gets hurt time and time again.
FDH has come a long way (hard to believe, I know) but he has a LONG way to go. He knows all the things she says about us, and when he see's her or hear's about it he never calls her out on it, EVER. He would rather stick his head in the sand and pretend it didn't happen. He says we are gonna save some money and not go out much (we go out weekly) to save for our vacation, fine with me, but SD shows up and he literally spends HUNDREDS on her school clothes every year. But we aren't gonna spend money on anything unnecessary for the next month bc we are both losing a weeks pay plus vacation expenses???? He just says he has to...........whatever. The best BM in the world doesn't pay for shit. Daddy is a bank and a doormat.
Yes, that is the other part
Yes, that is the other part of it. Her and BM can sit in cahoots with their jealousy bc our vacation is going to be the shit!!
And I am gonna rub it in every chance I get "OMG I can't WAIT for our vacation!!!!!!" "Hey FDH 20 days and we r outta here with NO KIDS" }:)
I'm just so guarded with her/them (BM) I don't want them to know anything, ya know? Thats where I was comin from. And like I said I KNOW it's gonna get thrown in FDH's face. Oh well, not my problem. I just can't stand her!!!!
Oh yea and he knows she always wants something when she comes over, he told his sister that too (she told me). I just wonder if FDH will always fall for it? he has made progress but he needs to cut that little bitch off! She's soooo ungrateful and uses him and takes advantage. Sure spend time together but don't always give in when she wants something
Exactly! Everyone "hates" on
Exactly! Everyone "hates" on us and makes comments like "oh, must be nice" or behind our backs " no wonder SD is feeling left out " etc.. It's no ones business what we do with our money! But yet Most of the extended family have a comment that ends up getting back to us. Guess what? We are not taking my daughter either! We aren't playing favorites so shut your ass up and mind your own business!!!
My ss14 is like this as
My ss14 is like this as well-he will literally not speak or see dh for months-will blow him off or ignore him if dh tries to contact him, not show for visits, etc-but around bday or xmas time (or even now as school approaches)he's suddenly calling and wanting to spend time with dh. Why on earth are men so dull that they cant see what is so obvious?