My DH tells me tonight that he will not after all be babysitting GS17months on Sept 1st while YSD works. The plans changed. I ask...when were you going to tell me...the day before...or the day of? It is really not that difficult. Don't tell me all the stuff I don't want to hear and tell me the stuff I need to know that may impact my life or schedule. Simple.

This same YSD26 is asking already (by text that I saw) if he will babysit for 9-10 hour day on New Year's DAy! Give me a break...stop it already...find a regular babysitter ( Oh wait...that is BM except when she has other plans). DH never sees the kid anyway. I mean never. She makes no plans with DH to go to the park or visit unless she wants something. (She is banned from our home). She asks him all the time to babysit...then the plans change....or whatever. Like he has to work too and can't take off on Black Friday to watch your kid while your work! Please.

Tonight he also tells me he will may be going over to her house on Saturday night to let her dog in, since she is working. He asks if we are doing anything. He says he did not commit to letting the dog in definitely. That is his method of operation...avoid answering her as long as possible...she usually changes the plans anyway.

Of course we have a picnic to go to and now he will want to not stay very long because he will have that 1 hr round trip to her house to do afterwards.
I told him that I will make my own plans for that evening while he is away being his daughter's bitch. I've been reading that 50 Shades of Grey book....I told him perhaps I'll just entertain myself while he is gone (not to be graphic). But it got him thinking. Perhaps he'll get some balls and tell YSD that he doesn't have time to take care of her dog ever. He knows how I feel about it...it is not on the way...it is out of the way and she never does anything for him but ask him to do stuff for her. He really does not have time. His job is very stressful right now. He comes home every day from a 10-12 hr day and starts right away doing more work at home or making work calls. HE doesn't even stop for dinner. So of course I will resent if he goes to take care of her dog Saturday night.
He doesn't have time to spend with me...oh sure..he is here...but his attention is not. He doesn't have the time to take care of his health...but I know that is his responsiblity to do that.
The girl shouldn't even have any pets...don't get me started there.

The MSD who is the idenity theft crimminal had a court date today. I saw that she texted DH a guilt message about him forgetting to ask her about it. And the YSD texted him too about saying MSD was hurt that he forgot but don't tell her she told him so. They are so messed up. The both of them are always telling him stuff but don't tell the other one...he is the ultimate middle man.
He had to leave at 7 this morning and didn't get back till about 6pm from an out of the area work meeting all day. Then the minute he is in the door he is on the work computer and making calls to catch up on the stuff from the day he missed in the office. Like remembering the court day is the only thing on his plate today! I wish I could have deleted it before he saw it...but I know they need to hang themselves with their bullshit. For now I do not trust him to tell me what I need to know vs what he wants me to know. That stems back to when MSD threatened to kill me by text if I told anyone where she moved to after I kicked her arse out after 5 wks of hell. He did not feel the need to share that one with me. And I know...I need to stop looking at the text msgs....I'm trying to quit...maybe when my eyebrows grow back...nervous habit from all this mess, I can't stop pulling them out.

So...do I need to start fighting their ridiculousness with all the weapons at my disposal? Fifty shades to crazy land....hummm...maybe that would get his attention. He was certainly very attentive and snuggly tonight after I told him I could do without him Saturday if he chose to go let the dog out. I even got a shoulder rub!

If I had to do it over again...I may still be with him...but knowing what I know now...I may not have married him...and I would not have sold my home and left the area where my kids live to come here and be isolated from everyone I knew. One of the posters here said they built a big house so all the skids and kids and grankids would have a place to visit with them. Yet now there is just the big empty house. I feel that way too...but I built a little house so no one could move in with us but just visit like at a mountain cabin near a stream...yet the MSD barged right in (with her cat) and tried to tell me she would stay as long as she liked because 'her daddy said she could'...Well she was wrong. And now with all the strife she caused none of his kids can come here...If they do I will leave. And my kids still visit but I think it will not be as much with the stress that was caused. And my folks had been talking about coming for a visit this year but when the mess happened in the spring I knew they would not want to come and be around any of this. They are old...they do not do drama anymore.

This weekend I am going to walk DH around our house and little property and point out to him all the things we built together, the stone walkway, the trees we planted, the stick on tile floor in the basement room...the heart with our names carved in it in the cement floor downstairs. And I am going to show him the creek bank that has fallen in from the erosion of the flooding last year and tell him that the erosion to our marriage is what was caused by the SD's and by his not taking a stand with me his wife against them when they were clearly trying to destroy our marriage and telling him he should divorce me.
Perhaps he needs a visual aid with narrative to see what we have built together and what is at stake.

thank you for your time...any thoughts...