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Finally have begun disengaging........Merry Christmas to myself!!

unwillingparticipant's picture

Submitted by unwillingparticipant on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 10:25am

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Feels GREAT! I've gotten my identity, my inner peace & my sanity back!!!! I am now the biggest advocate for doing this, my marriage has never been better!
How many of you have done this? How many of you are thinking of doing this? How has it changed your life? Have you been successful in doing it? How has it effected your home life?

ownedbypedro's picture

Submitted by ownedbypedro on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 7:25pm

I will never forget the day I told my dh that I couldn't stand skid 2 (skid 1 is okay) and I was DONE pretending I could stand him and I was DONE with him period. Very liberating, yes.

CDalla's picture

Submitted by CDalla on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 5:11am

It is great. DH keeps trying to drag me back in but if I am disengaged I am a happy wife so he is catching on. Congratulations on making the leap. Beware of speed wobbles and good luck.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 12:52pm

Unwilling, yes I just started this process, and it has been life changing!!! My bf and I relationship is back on track, my kids and I are closer and have had great times together on our wknds, I feel liberated, happier, less angry and bitter and resentful.

My 'disengaging' involved me being more honest with him about my feelings about her, and asking him to have seperate wknds w/our kids, that the only solution i can find now is to keep kids apart because he won't discipline. He admitted he likely wouldn't (long story you can see my last 3-4 blogs about it). He's respected it so far, so I haven't seen Sd much lately, except a couple hrs a couple wks ago...and I will continue with this for the next few months-at least till after the Holidays.

YES he sees me happier, a better person and it reflects well on OUR relationship and that's all I can worry abotu right now-not his spawns feelings or bm's or his parents-who in their mind are thinking 'she's applying the breaks'. YEP!!!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 10:05am

Yes, I finally saw the light...and disengaged from SD14 as well as BM. I never had any contact with BM (she refused to meet me or talk to me, even email!) but would ask DH whenever he'd get a text or email from her what it was about. Since he's 100% open and honest, he'd tell me and then I'd find myself fuming over what was said or whatever. I decided after SD14 moved in with BM that I was done with the both of them. If SD comes back into our lives, I told DH he's more than welcome to have a relationship with her, away from me. I'm done with her and unless MAJOR apologies and changes come about with her, will remain done.

Our relationship has never been better. Zero stress, zero drama, zero tension. It feels DAMN good!