Have finally begun disengaging. Merry Christmas to me!!
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Feels GREAT! I've gotten my identity, my inner peace & my sanity back!!!! I am now the biggest advocate for doing this, my marriage has never been better!
How many of you have done this? How many of you are thinking of doing this? How has it changed your life? Have you been successful in doing it? How has it effected your home life?
I did it after dh and I were
I did it after dh and I were married about 2 years. It only lasted a year or so as my dh started to come around and do for his boys when i wouldn't. He stepped up to the plate and is a dad now.
I tell women all the time that many times you don't have to do it very long. what happened with us is that once my dh started to be the dad and take care of his business it became second nature to him and he got it that if he continued to be the guilty daddy his kids would not be the adults he wanted them to be.
So now he is the one that says things to his kids if they do wrong before I even have the chance. So i started coming back as a role in their lives and I can have an opinion and I can t5ell the boys to do things and I can ground them and stuff and they know that their dad will back me up. In turn I like to do and buy things for them now.
They are very nice to me and for the most part are good kids here mainly b/c they know that their dad and me do not put up with crap even from my kids and have seen that.
As a result they do things for me like when I was trying to get the christmas stuff down ss16 got mad at me for not asking for help and he got it all down for me.
That shows that how you raise your kids makes all the difference in how they treat others!
call me stupid and
call me stupid and dumbass????? I think that things are going to change...
I have a SD that's 24 and SS that's 30. My husband the bio dad to the SD and he adopted the SS at 4....The SS has nothing to do with him and doesn't speak. I am guessing a sign of support to the bio mom. The SD does come to our town 1 -2 times a year. basically around the holiday's as she finds time to pick up her Ipod ( gfit this year) and over 1000 dollars worth of clothes. She is overly attached to her Bio mom as I think she feels sorry for her mom and it appears the SS and SD have sided with their Bio mom. I get it. I really do but if I send emails. leave a message or text I get nothing back from the SD. I don't even try to communicate to the SS. I know on some rational level they are siding with their mom as protection and of course she buys them anything they want. Even supporting the son as he is unemployed....I say nothing negative about either of the two kids. I stay out of it. yet it really hurts my feelings that the SD doesn't want to connect with me. Sometimes she is rude to me but lately not. She is coming for the holiday for 4 days...I always try and say "let's go get our nails done" to spent some time together.. amke her favorite foods etc......Need advice on why is it that uncomfortable for her to have any relationship with me? PS Been married almost 5 years and it's getting worst...not better.....thought they would get use to the idea and warm up to me....now the SS has nothing do to with his dad and he's married as well.... I have no kids and never was married till 46 for the first time...was I really that stupid to think it would calm down? HELP