Giving child allowance? for doing nothing?
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My husband gives his daughter 20.00 every week-end for allowance/doing chores...Finally this week-end I said "ok, for doing what? I have been cooking a cleaning up after both of you all week-end!...he said "for making her bed"...SD is almost 12.
I said to Husbsand "we need to talk about this later and what constitues as "chorse""...he got pissy with me.
You can't really say how he
You can't really say how he spends money... And stop being their maid! Insist he help you prepare your meals & let him clean up after her. If this doesn't work then go on strike. The child is not yours and it's not your problem or responsibility.
Its really a question of
Its really a question of should a child get an allowance for doing chores or should chores be done irregardless of receiving an allowance. It's been a bone of contention between parents from day one.
Pay a kid to do what they should be doing anyway? Goes one argument.
Paying a kid teaches them that work has rewards goes another.
Personally I'm of the persuasion that the kid gets an allowance because they share in the family income. If I have little or no income they get no allowance.
At the same time they have chores to do and they'll do them with or without the allowance. There is no connection.
$20 seems a lot for a 12yo but everything seems high to me at age 70.
Basic allowance in our house
Basic allowance in our house is based on semester grades. Since that is their primary job, that is what they are paid to do. They also each have basic 'cause you live here ' chores. If I end up having to do their chores because they don't, then they pay me from their allowance. I also have a list of extra chores available if anyone wants to earn extra money. That system starts when they start high school.
OCC is right above. I have
OCC is right above. I have decided that my kids are to get allowance that is not related to their chores. If they want more money then they can do extra jobs for me like wash the car, cut the grass, etc. People who give allowance CORRECTLY can actually spend less money on the child in the long run. For instance, when the state fair was coming up and I knew my kids REALLY wanted to go, I told them they were responsible for paying for their ride tickets. Why should I give them allowance and then pay to entertain them also? They are picking and choosing what's important to them rather than asking for this and that and me having to decide if I want to/should buy it. Now when they ask for something, I tell them to save up their allowance. I follow the dollar/age principle. My 11 yr old gets $11 per week; 9 year old gets $9. They are learning to choose what they can afford or to save up, or to not get it at all. It's s simple concept most adults were never taught growing up. Hence the reason they go into debt buying toys...
Make doing her own laundry
Make doing her own laundry part of her chores. Make sure you and DH have clean clothes though! She's bound to have 'favorite' items so make sure they are still in the hamper, that's 'incentive' enough for her to wash stuff...right? No need to get confrontational, just say 'ohhh I am sorry it did not make it through the laundry yet, here, let me show you how it works if you are in a hurry for them.' Most kids take a pride in doing stuff for themselves in reality, she's going to want some independance soon anyhow!
ugh, i cannot stand to see
ugh, i cannot stand to see people rewarding kids for doing what they are SUPPOSED to do! i remember one year, fdh asked sd (she was 16 or 17) to help him gather veggies from the garden. that little bitch asked him how much he was going to pay her to do it. he told her her payment would be getting to eat! }:)
When we were kids, it
When we were kids, it functioned like this: We did chores that we were supposed to do for free. This means we made our beds, did the dishes, swept the floors, cleaned up after ourselves because that's what we were supposed to do. That taught us how to 'earn our keep', how to take care of things, how to be self-sufficient. We also had the OPTION to do Additional chores for which we'd be paid. Sweeping the whole house, cleaning up the flower beds/yard, ironing clothes for older relatives who lived nearby, mowing lawns, hanging up clothes on the line, etc. Those were "bigger" chores that we could earn up $7-12 per week for doing and that was big money to us poor farm kids!
Additionally we worked our acre wide garden for no money per say but our Grandfather would take us to store and let us by whatever we wanted as a treat at end of week, for working the garden. So we did what we were supposed to do but we were also taught how to Earn money as well. I found that to be a pretty good lesson so I used it with my daughter. Her Grandparents and Dad opted to give an allowance in the standard way and that was fine with me--didn't cost me anything and I was still holding my way.
For SS8, he does not get an allowance from DH. BM begs for enough money as it is! We pay $20 a week for his lunch -$15 for lunch for 5 days, plus $5 for snacks (as if his chunky butt needs a snack). That's $80-100 a month and that's more than any allowance he'd get so if DH ever started talking about allowances, we'd no longer pay for his lunch. One or the other.
I agree with alot of what you
I agree with alot of what you ALL said; I would like to see some consistancy in her doing chorse becouse her father and I both told her friday " while you are her you will clean your room up this week-end"...cups and glasses, food....etc...I want to paint in there so I want it clean, the bed making thing only lasted one day...and back to reminding her to do it, so yeah, its always a struggle to get her to do her part it seams, and my husband still rewards her.
Husband is the problem. No
Husband is the problem. No chore completion no reward.
He's teaching her to avoid work which will get her fired post haste in the real world. Remind him of that. He want to be her friend not a parent who is one who teaches their kid to exist in the world when s/he is gone.
Ask Dad if he gets paid for promises? If not why is he paying his kid?
Although I'll admit a certain President I know seems to have gotten a four year gig based on nothing more and is now repeating those same promises.
I also only give money for
I also only give money for report cards..we all live together so we can all clean together!