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Do you and DH or DW put all money into one bank account??

inneedofanswers's picture

and when there is a decision to be made on large purchases do you both make that decision together???

PeanutandSons's picture

We have seperate accounts, but we borrow money from each others accounts frequently. We each have our assigned bills and once those are paid, any extra is for whatever that person wants.

inneedofanswers's picture

Ok so let me go deeper... if you and SO have a child together and you don't work or work part time... does all the money go into one account... or does SO pay the bills and then spend then rest one whatever he wants????

hereiam's picture

My husband and I have never had a joint account. We do discuss and usually agree on big purchases and each pay half. Except for my car, which I paid for myself (and he paid for his).

Having separate accounts works for us but might not for everybody.

Rags's picture

The answer to your question is yes. Though it is myself and my wife that put all of our income in to joint accounts. I am StepDad.

The answer to the large purchase question is also yes. With the exception of gifts for each other. We both know our resources, our expenses and our financial goals so if one wants to get something nice for the other we trust each other not to adversly impact our common financial goals.

All of our accounts are joint with the exception of x1 personal credit card each which we set up so my wife could establish her own credit and so that if we want to make a purchase as a surprise to the other we do not have to be overly creative with compiling the money to buy that item

We marred 18+ years ago when our son (my SS) was 1yo so we have been doing this for quite a while. When we married I was recently out of university with my engineering degree and just starting my first post graduate job, we had two apartments full of college furniture and my vehicle. That is all we started with.

We have built our lives and our financial position together. Since we married she has completed her BS, we have both finished an MBA and she has certified as a CPA. This has worked for us.

Hope the contextual information helps clarify our situation.

Good luck.

herewegoagain's picture

We used to have one account and DH went crazy with that. Then we had separate accounts and it was also a nightmare because he would always complain of not having enough. Now we have a joint account and each of us spends money from there. We hardly argue about what is spent, but neither of us spends any money for crazy stuff or for others outside of our direct family, ie. us/our child together. The only reason we have a joint account now is because DH finally got it through his thick skull his family, ex, daughter and all the other aholes he knew were using him for money and finally put a stop to it.

I think the whole money thing works as joint if both spouses understand that the family living in the home comes first and the kids that are yours together are the only ones who should benefit from that money. The other kids not living with you should ONLY benefit from CS...if it's not spent correctly by BM, too bad...your home should not be penalized and made to spend more because of her poor choices. Once DH got that part, we have never had an issue with money again.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

We used to have seperate accounts upon marriage but we felt "uncomfortable" with the "your's and mine" thing being a union and now have one account together. We both pay bills together online and have a joint ledger. ATM withdrawls are a joint thing. I think we are a little bit more old fashioned as far as the bills/bank account things. It works for us though, not for everyone.

byebyebirdie's picture

we have joint saving and checking. we discuss large purchases only and i pay and handle all the bills using the money out of our acct. we both work and make about equal if he did not pay CS he would make more then me but we still would have joint acct and pay bills together we are both old school that way. CS comes directly out of his check... as soon as we are done with CS 6 more years i can not wait all that extra $ will be like big bonus can go for extra on house payment i can hardly wait......

round2's picture

Great question - we are struggling with the right set up for us as well. Right now, we have our own checking and savings accounts and one shared credit card. Everything goes on the AMEX and we spilt the bill and pay it in full each month. We also split the mortgage evenly.

Honestly, this arrangement works in my favor since I have three kids and he only has one. If we were to split by consumption, my share would be higher than his. He also makes more money than I do so if I cannot cover all of my half he picks up the slack.

CGirl's picture

We do now, as I want to have a better handle on our financials. Been married just over a year. Been told I have to 'cut my spending'. I'd like to cut something else, like the ridiculous CS payments. But of course, that's not going to happen. At least now, I can see exactly what $ goes where.

CaveCanem's picture

Separate accounts here too. Because the BM got to see his bank statements (and we saw hers) at court, we made sure everything was completely split as she keeps trying to get my income added into the CS amount...even though the judge told her she can't. She tried about 4 times now and I know when we go thru remod again next year she will request my income added again. The only thing we do together are the taxes because we would owe WAY more if we did them separate.

Before this whole mess we had separate accounts and I enjoyed it. Now we have to keep it separate for our own good. No way am I paying a dime for the step kid.

Toni P.'s picture

he gives me money to pay the bills each paycheck. but no, we have separate everything. It seems to work for us.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

My motto: What's his is mine and what's mine is mine. Smile

All joint accounts. I control all money, investments, bill paying. My husband works too much to have to deal with that in his down time.

SMof2Girls's picture

We have separate accounts. DH is historically bad at managing money. He has his bills to pay and I have mine. We revisit this distribution often to make sure it's still fair. Normal household expenses (groceries, toiletries, etc) are done by both of us.

It's not a strict arrangement, but it works for us. He likes to have his free money to blow on whatever he wants and I like not stressing about it Smile