I want my husband to have a vasectomy

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We just got married in August. Age 41 and he's about to be 43. Honestly our birth control right now is the "pull out" method, LOL.....sad, but true. I have 2 bios, he has a bio. All the kids live with us 24/7. AND, neither of us WANTS another kid. I have already told him that an OOPS baby is out of the question, and he AGREES.......

Our sex life is FABULOUS, but i'd like for it to be anxiety free. We have discussed his having a vasectomy, and i'm pretty sure I can get him to do it, but he seems kind of resistant to it. Maybe just because it's having your private areas messed around with? I really don't want to be, at age 41, with an IUD or Birth Control pills.....

How do I be more persuasive and pushy to have him get it done????

My DH had one after we had

My DH had one after we had BD, 4 years ago. I told him I didn't want to be on the pill for the rest of my life, I explained to him all the side effects and then after the awful birth of the baby he felt bad making me go thru anything else.

When you schedule it they make you go to a consultation. Then you have to wait 30 days before you can have it done. Maybe he should at least have the consult so he can see what they say?

My DH was so good about it. It was a quick procedure. I waiting with the baby in the waiting room. He was sore for a few days but nothing too bad. He is so happy now that he had it done because it saves us alot of uh oh's. We definitely don't want any more kids!!

My sister is having the same problem. Her DH flat out refuses to have it done. Every month she would call me in a panic thinking she was pregnant!!

Trust me when I say it couldn't have hurt that much because my DH loves to relive any little thing that was terrible or painful and he never once has brought that up.

Show him the cost difference

Show him the cost difference between him getting a vasectomy (office vist) vs a tubal ligation for you (surgery).

I wish DH would have had a vasectomy too, about 19 years ago.

Seriously though, I had an IUD put in about a year ago and DH has now agreed to a vasectomy. So I'll keep the IUD until he's had the procedure and has been cleared for take off, then I'll have the IUD removed.

If you don't want kids, please use a condom. The pulling out method is bound to lead to a surprise baby.

DH had a vasectomy 2 weeks

DH had a vasectomy 2 weeks after the bastard was born. Thank god no more little munchkins roaming around.

The difference between the snip and the tubal is like the difference in getting your nails clipped vs having a fingernail removed.

Exactly. Tubal ligation

Exactly.

Tubal ligation involves an in-patient surgical procedure involving anesthesia.

Vasectomy is a office visit procedure administered with a local.

Cost wise it's less expensive for the vasectomy. It's also less invasive and doesn't carry the risks of going under anesthesia.

Yes, i'm against a tubal

Yes, i'm against a tubal because that's a non necessary invasive surgery. And I have 3 kids to take care of. I've been using the pull out method with him for 4 years and thank GOD no slip ups. Also, for a 'surgery' we have a $500 co-pay out of pocket before anything is covered. I've had a few surgeries due to the trauma of what my ex husband did to me. Im not getting cut open again unless it's life or death.

"I've had a few surgeries due

"I've had a few surgeries due to the trauma of what my ex husband did to me. Im not getting cut open again unless it's life or death."

How horrible! I don't blame you one bit. It's so much easier and less expensive for a man to have a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation. Not to mention the recover time from the surgery.

I'm sorry, but really? Pull

I'm sorry, but really? Pull out? How often do we tell our kids that it is NOT a reliable method of BC? At least you guys should wrap it up with a condom and a spermicide. IUD. Diaphragm. You've been lucky.

True. Though I like the

True. Though I like the poster who suggested the consultation. Maybe hearing the facts from a doctor will ease his mind about the procedure.

My DH had his vasectomy done

My DH had his vasectomy done when SD was like 8 yrs old (she's 14 now) and I had a tubal ligation when my daughter was 4 (she's also 14). So we're double covered...even though we both said out of anyone we'd ever been with, we'd really love to have children together. I'm 40, he's 38, so yeah, we're past that stage even if we were still able.

Anyhow, DH said it really wasn't a big deal. Said he was sore for a day and his balls swelled so he had to sit on frozen peas, but he was back to work the next day.

I've been considering this

I've been considering this procedure myself: http://www.essure.com/?gclid=CJjNt72Z3LMCFYl7Qgod7ycAmw

Its supposed to be an office visit and some cramping, 3 months you get it verified that you can no longer get preggo - its a lot less invasive than tubes tied.

I might look into it this coming year.

I was really interested in

I was really interested in this, and suggested this to my ob/gyn, but she steered me away from it since I've never been pregnant.

Interesting - I am going to

Interesting - I am going to talk to mine this year. I've had 2 babies already and am 40 now - DH keeps saying he will get fixed but all talk no action, i am tired and if I have learned anything, its that to wait for DH to do something is not worth the wait - if you want it done, you gotta do it yourself in this household or turn blue waiting.

I had the Essure. Super

I had the Essure. Super duper easy.

1. Insurance covered it 100%
2. Day of - took a valium type relaxer and some pain meds prescribed by my doc The Valium was to help keep the fallopian tubes "calm". My aunt took me in, I was awake for the whole thing - watched it on the screen even! Spent the rest of the day on the sofa enjoying my buzz with a long nap. Back to work the next day.
3. Follow up xray - no problem all managed.

Docs don't like to do such an irreversible procedure if you haven't had any kids. It truly is NOT a reversible thing!

I've recommended it to many of my friends who are like me - in their 40's - too young for menopause but too damn old for a baby!

OOH, i never heard of

OOH, i never heard of this..... :?

XH had it done. It was no

XH had it done. It was no biggie.

Faster, easier, cheaper, and less pain/recovery than tubes. However, if he's not interested, it ain't happening.

I can't believe you've never had an oops in four years. The joke's always been, "what do you call people who use the pull out method? PARENTS!"

I had the essure after my

I had the essure after my divorce the procedure went fine I even begged to be awake (terrible fear of anesthesia) it was uncomfortable and a little painful but not awful. I rested the weekend and was back to work on Monday, however when I went back to make sure my tubes were occluded the side that had been difficult to get it in was occluded, the sid that was hard to see but went in easy was not, the coil had embedded itself in my uterus which left me having to go under for the doc to try and get it out (laprascopy) and tie that tube, the risk hemorrhage and possible hysterectomy (I was hysterical and they had to dope me up pretty good even before surgery) the second surgery went ok, the coil wouldn't come out so it's still there only way to get it out will be a hysterectomy but as I don't have pain or problems from it it's a non concern at this time, my tube was tied and I'm "medically sterile" but it was a train wreak and the doctor I went to no longer does the procedure she just feels the other alternatives are safer and less traumatic complications.
My exh had a vasectomy after our ds was born he was sore for about 4 days took it easy for a week and was fine. 20 min in office procedure that was way less than what I went through.

Wow. Sorry to hear you had

Wow. Sorry to hear you had such icky complications! I have been very pleased with my decision to have Essure and have been fortunate to not have any complications.

Other than the very

Other than the very unexpected complications the initial procedure was fine and I have no problems now, another girl I work with had it done with no problems or complications and is why I chose it I was just one of the unlucky few I've met no one else who's had it done that has had problem though my doctor stopped performing it due to her and several other OB's having more issues than they were led to believe there could be. I'd of probably tried it anyway even if I'd known more of the risks, and other than recovering time and having to go under having my one tube tied wasn't so bad either still don't want to go under again (unless it's a tummy tuck and my boobs filled back in if I'm ever rich lol) but I'm not AS freaked out as I was.

Telling a man to get clipped

Telling a man to get clipped is not going to go over too well.. Using cost as a motivator past a certain age and "realistic" sexual activity may not be the way to go either.. Lets be frank,, more than likely a case of condoms will get most married men through 10 years,, cost less,, and gives your cheep friends a nice present to find as they go mooching through the couch cushions looking for change.

If he isn't volunteering for

If he isn't volunteering for a vasectomy, my guess is he isn't wanting to be 43 with a vasectomy anymore than you're wanting to be 41 on the pill.

DH had a vasectomy after SD was born. He regrets it.

I have to agree with jumanji. For someone wanting a permanent fix to be relying on the pull-out method... :?

Why are you opposed to an IUD or the pill?

IMO, it isn't fair to make a permanent fix the obligation of anyone who doesn't want to do it.

>>>IMO, it isn't fair to make

>>>IMO, it isn't fair to make a permanent fix the obligation of anyone who doesn't want to do it.

I agree with this.

Neither DH or I want a permanent fix. We also don't want anymore kids right now, and can't see changing our minds BUT, I always keep in the back of my mind that life is fragile. You never know what the future may hold and so long as I am healthy enough to have babies, I do not want to eliminate the chances completely.

We use the pull out method because I HATE birth control and DH hates condoms... we both know that this is not 100% effective and are ok with the fact that there may be a surprise some day. As soon as we are NOT ok with that thought, we will do something permanent. 7 1/2 years knock on wood... and not even so much as a "scare".