When will the damned defying stop!?
So this is more of a general child problem, but it might be a factor that SS is a SS.
He's almost 3, and the last couple of months he's been crying about everything and anything, whenever he doesn't get his way. He fights about every little thing, eating, sleeping, what he can and cannot play with (for example, sharp knives and fire are things that he is not allowed to play with.). It's the type of cry that is really fake, you know? He can stop whenever he wants and no tears, happy as a clam. Because I'm not his mother I find it very hard to tolerate. We have him every other weekend, and one afternoon a week.
So, how long would you think this phase usually lasts? I have no previous experience with children so I have nothing to relate to, and I just want the crying to stop! I know this is a phase all children go through, and that it is in fact good for them. But what's good for them is not always good for my ears and sanity 
It's been going on for about 3 months, do I need to prepare for another 6 months? Year? Next 16,5 years?
Daddy will take him by the
Daddy will take him by the hand and put him in his room telling him he can come out when he stops crying. Daddy shuts the door but doesn't slam it demonstrating he're not angry just not tolerating his childness. At first he'll come right back out still acting up and Daddy marchs him right back in and tells him if he comes out still crying he's going to be put in his pajamas and put to bed for an hour. Daddy does it if necessary.
Repeated as required.
Go on Amazon.com and buy a good book on raising pre-teens for both of you to read and disucss (to make sure he read it). I hope my assumption that Daddy is there to do the discipline is correct because if Daddy is not there the boy should not be there unless you relish the role of babysitter. Which right now you obviously don't.
Remember the point of the kid visiting is to be with Daddy not babysat by you or anyone else. If you're going to babysit at least get paid.
Hmm.. I think you're reading
Hmm.. I think you're reading in things that aren't there. I do not babysit. Daddy is the one doing the disciplining and he is doing a fine job at it. This is not a specific SS problem, as I stated. This is what children go through at that age. Testing their limits, realizing they are their own people and have their own will. It's what they are supposed to do.
SO is doing everything by the book, so his skills are not being questioned. I am not taking over, so my babysitting does not need to be questioned. What I want is to know how long these phases usually last, since a lot of you people here have skids or biokids that you have been around when they themselves were in this phase.
My DD18mo.s does this on and
My DD18mo.s does this on and off for weeks to a little over a month at a time. Without fail, it is always a teething issue. She doesn't feel well and is determined that no one else will either.
On really bad days (fever, extra fussiness, sometimes vomiting) I alternate every 3 hr.s between Tylenol and Ibuprofen. It doesn't stop the fussiness completely, but curbs it and is great for everything else.
Well since I currently have 5
Well since I currently have 5 teenagers in my home who are all at different stages in life and 2 of them I raised since they're my bios, I can confidently say that at 3 your ss is doing the fake cry, at 10 he'll be doing the fake finger at you and at 15 he will be doing the fake leaving his crap all over the house and not doing a damn chore or caring a damn thing about you as his sm. Get used to it or leave. This is par for the 15 more year course for you. It doesn't go away it just changes channels. Your ss is doing this to obviously get attention. If this is his personality type he will be this way until the day (if that day comes) he walks out the door or gets booted out the door.
IMHO
Excuse me but you made me angry talking to OCC like that, we're just here to listen and give advise, not to be told what kind of advise. If you don't like it delete it.
Eh it's a phase it'll go away
Eh it's a phase it'll go away after awhile if they are taught to. My bio, who is 4, does that with DH but not with me because I don't tolerate it.
If he throws a tantrum, whomever is there, should tell him he's more than welcome to throw a fit but he has to do it in his room. If he doesn't go to his room pick him up and put him there.
They usually figure out that the tantrums don't work so they stop.
Ok, it seems I stepped on
Ok, it seems I stepped on some toes here, and I want to apologize. I was tired and frustrated and I felt a bit attacked.
The core of the issue is that this is not a question about discipline because all children in this age go through this phase, with or without it. Sure, it will be shorter with discipline, but they will all be there.
Since I don't have children myself I don't know how long this phase usually lasts, with the right amount of discipline, and I haven't been able to find information on the internet. This is why I turned to you, I figured you might have had experience from this.
So I'm really sorry if I offended anybody, it really wasn't my intention.