Question for the military folks in here
Forums:
Actually 2 questions.
1. If DH calls BM's commanding officer, or someone else on base, would they tell him if BM has received new orders? We don't need to know what they are or any details, just whether or not she's got them.
2. Is there anyway for DH to get a copy of the Family Care Plan himself? She has basically refused to provide him a copy, but we're not sure if he'll be able to get a copy by calling directly.
Thanks!
Technically, NO to both of
Technically, NO to both of your questions. However, if you get the right person, they might do it anyways. At the very least, they might tell her that you called and she might do it just to get you off her back. But, military orders and information is protected just like your health information would be protected.
You might be able to contact the Human Resource Command (google it) and ask what options you have for these things. Again, sometimes you get the right person and they will help you. BUT, you need to remember that no matter what your civilian court orders say you have "rights" to, the military law does not need to follow.
Honestly, you're probably in a tough spot because I doubt that someone in her chain of command is going to release her orders to an ex-husband.
sorry.
PS: If your DH was named in
PS: If your DH was named in the family care plan, you would know. It would require that he obtain a power of attorney - which he would have signed and had notarized. He would have also needed to sign the certificate of acceptance saying that he agreed to become the guardian and what rights he was given.
Thank you! I didn't think
Thank you!
I didn't think they would give us any type of details about her orders. DH called her Commanding Officer a few months ago when she was completely denying his court-ordered visitation. The CO was very friendly and told DH to call with any future problems.
This isn't really a "problem", but BM has told DH that she is only required by our custody agreement to provide 60 days notice of any relocation; which just isn't true. The agreement states that any information regarding her military duty and status is to be communicated as soon as it becomes available.
Because the skids were here for Christmas break talking about moving to Florida, DH suspects that she has new orders but isn't telling him. He has asked her several times and she says she doesn't have any updates. I just have no idea how we would ever prove otherwise.
DH only needs to know IF she has orders; not the details of them. He doesn't necessarily want to call her CO with this either. It's more of a curiosity thing for both of us, so there's no need to really ruffle feathers!
He did sign the Family Care Plan but didn't think to make a copy before mailing it back. We started asking BM to provide a copy months ago, but she says she doesn't have a copy either and she's too busy to request one.
Oh! One last thing: they
Oh! One last thing: they usually tell you not to name a non-custodial parent in the plan as the power of attorney because most civilian courts (I guess) can use that as grounds for modifying custody.
My exDH is military, my DH is military and my sister is the custodial for my nephew... and went through something very similar when she deployed. She had to give our dad POA and specify that he should allow the normal visitation with her Ex at the advice of her attorney. Her ex was really upset and felt like he should have received POA and guardianship during her deployment, but the attorney advised against it.
They have joint legal and
They have joint legal and physical custody, so I don't think DH signed a POA. Does that sound right?
I know he signed the Family Care Plan, but I don't think there was a POA involved.
Would BM be able to assign POA to someone else? Like her mother?
Ahhh. They have joint
Ahhh. They have joint custody. Sorry - I figured she was the custodial/legal since they went with her on base (which is weird if she's there for training, btw - is she at Ft Sam Houston?)
The POA allows you to make decisions regarding the children, but he would already have those rights since they have joint.
Yes, she's at Fort Sam
Yes, she's at Fort Sam Houston for 7ish months for C-school.
Why DH EVER agreed to let them go in the first place is beyond me .. but he seriously kicks himself for giving in
And, yes. She could have
And, yes. She could have signed her POA to her mother regarding her 1/2 of the custody. Hell, she can sign it over to a friend if she wanted to. When you're in the military, you have all sorts of POAs for different things. It doesn't really matter that much until/unless she deploys though.
In a perfect world, that
In a perfect world, that would be great
Their agreement is pretty clear that she has to provide the information on orders as soon as it becomes available. She just doesn't "interpret" it that way.
He did sign the Family Care Plan, but didn't think to make a copy. She says she didn't make a copy either and can't get him a copy because she's too busy.
I wasn't really expecting the military to hand over any detailed information .. just wondering if they would say whether or not she's received new orders (don't need details as to where/when). And since DH is listed on the Family Care Plan, if he'd be able to get a copy.
Sounds like a bunch of dead ends though
Well, DH has told her point
Well, DH has told her point blank that he will be pursuing a change in the custody agreement once she gets orders (his lawyer says he doesn't really have a case for anything before he knows for sure she's not coming back here).
I'm assuming she thinks delaying when she tells him will buy her more time. Which doesn't really make sense considering no one is really expecting anything immediate to happen. Between her ability to postpone and delay the court proceedings because she's active duty, and the snail pace of our court system .. it will be months before anything is resolved.
The more likely reason? She controls the information and when she provides it .. so she needs to assert some sort of twisted and perceived superiority over him.