"Hi, it's the girls' mother calling to talk to the girls"
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BM says this EVERY TIME I answer the phone when she calls the house phone.
For a while I just said "hold on" or "ok" and got the skids to talk.
Once I said "I know, we have caller ID" and handed the phone off to the skids .. and when she did it again a few days later I said, "I know, we still have caller ID".
Now I rarely answer the phone, and if I do, I just hand it directly to the skids.
Do your BMs do things like this? I swear she does it just to get under my skin because she doesn't say it when anyone else answers the phone (DH's brother and my sister both answer our house phone when they're around).
I wouldn't say that it really
I wouldn't say that it really bothers me, I just definitely notice it. If that makes sense ...
My BM won't even acknowledge
My BM won't even acknowledge me when she calls MY house phone. She sits there and languishes in silence for 3-5 seconds. Then asks to speak with my dh, not the skid! She does not even identify herself. And she always seems taken a back that I would have the audacity to answer MY own phone in MY own home. She has all the manners of a wet badger.
More common sense out of you,
More common sense out of you, I see!
BM knows very well who I am, and I know who she is. It's honestly just her petty little digs to try and get to me.
I notice, but I don't sweat it. I think it's cute she tries so hard to get my attention }:)
You hit the nail on the head.
I'd kinda of laugh it off, "Hi Mom, Step-mom answering, I'll get the kids for you." kid(s) your mom is on the phone. "They are coming now it will just be a moment"
If she is trying to get under your skin, letting her know that she has accomplished just that, lets her win.
Why are they so weird?!
Why are they so weird?! LOL
We got a new answering machine about a year ago and I recorded the greeting to say "Hi you've reached the [DH's last name] home, we're not home ..."
She sent him a long ranting email saying that it was disrespectful to her to have that on there and that it's illegal to represent myself as their mother. Yeah.
See .. that makes sense ..
See .. that makes sense .. and if that were ever the case with our BM, I would understand.
But this has been going on for years .. and when people she doesn't even know answer my house phone, she doesn't say it .. just asks to speak to the kids.
Actually, i do the same
Actually, i do the same thing. Saying its me by using my name doesn't feel right to me when speaking to the SM and we get along just fine. I just feel using my name is too personal. If I have to call the main house number and the girls SM answers, I usually say Hi SM, this is BD13's mom can I speak to her?
I assume they have call display too, but it would come up in my hubbys name not mine and I suppose she should know it. I call rarely though - my BD13 has a cell phone so I just call direct if I have to call at all - only BD13 keeps her cell on silent most of the time so often she asks me to call her then doesn't pick up when I do so I have to call the main number.
I guess I have never really thought about it.
When BM calls here, she only asks to speak to skid by name - never says who it is, we have call display so I know of course.
My stepson's biological
My stepson's biological mother always states her name when calling when leaving a voice mail. Even if I have her phone numbers saved on my phone.
I don't answer the phone unless my stepson is not available to talk. Other than that, I give the phone to him when she calls.
What bothers me the most is
What bothers me the most is that my SD is there for a weekend - so 2 over nights -- and the BM has to call?! Seriously my SD isnt 2 - she's 15, and cant go 2 days w/o talking to her mom!!! It annoys me because she wont call her dad when she is at her moms for the entire week - but when she is at our house its all about her mom!
When I got phone partner or
When I got phone partner or anyone for that matter, I always "hi, It's" smithsgirl"", even though I know they've got my name in their mobile, lol. Must be just habit.
I say my name when I call
I say my name when I call someone, regardless of Caller ID - Unless they answer the phone with "Hi CIO". Maybe I'm a throw back to before caller id and mobile phones - or maybe I just like to say my name!
BM rarely calls to talk to SS
BM rarely calls to talk to SS when he is with us (which is nice) and when she does, I usually end up talking to her for a few minutes first, and she tells me why she is calling him. Not that it is any of my business, she just tells me. LOL
My favorite though, was when she used to be a royal bitch, and she would call and ask to talk to her "husband". It never failed, I would laugh hysterically in to the phone and then hang up. Classic.
Hahahaha.....i used to get
Hahahaha.....i used to get that call, when SO wouldn't answer his phone, and psycho had my number! She would call and say (psycho bitch calling). I would like to speak to my husband, about my child, or I would like to speak to my child.
I would laugh hang up.
As far being a BM, I always called exH cell. Never even spoke to his wife on the phone, not once.. she never answered, and I called the cell phone if need be. Didn't really need to call the house, or her cell phone for that matter. .
I think NPD BM has called
I think NPD BM has called about 5 times on our landline in 10 years. One of those times she did not acknowledge me at all, just said "Can I talk to my daughters?" No please, even. So I have caller display and stopped answering when it was her. I don't think she's called the landline for 5 or 6 years.
Before I blocked ZooMonkey
Before I blocked ZooMonkey from calling our house she'd call and ask "WHOSE THIS?" when I answered the phone.
To which I'd reply "You called MY house so who are YOU?" Then she'd say "Put so&so on the phone." I'd reply "He's not here" and hang up.
Then she wonders why I blocked her!
My voice mail states my
My voice mail states my married name and she fussed about that. But my husband put her in her place quickly.
Right now...she cares about her image in front of other people,so she tries to show that she is well-educated.
BM used to say, "Hey Storm,
BM used to say, "Hey Storm, this is BM. Is SS there?" It wouldn't bother me if she said "Hi, it's ss & sd's mother calling". I would wonder why she was putting that much effort into it, but it wouldn't bother me.
When SD was little (back in the day when she wanted to talk to her dad) she would leave a message & say, "Hi daddy, it's me...(her name)...". It didn't irritate me. It made me laugh because she's his only daughter. You'd think the "Hi daddy" part would give it away. LOL!
Probably just her way of
Probably just her way of keeping things impersonal. She doesn't want to be chummy with you and since the kids are then only connection between your two, that's what she emphasizes.
That's how I refer to myself when calling my sons preschool or Dr...just because that's how they know me. I never know if they will know who I am if I say this is Mrs. Peanut...but I'd I say this is bio sons mom then they know right who I am.
Its weirs since you two obviously know each others names by now and there would be no confusion on whom is on the phone. Probably just her trying to keep her distance and not be on a first name basis.
My husband's ex would say
My husband's ex would say this:
Me: Hello
Her: Put Joe on the phone.
Me: Click
No, she was just calling to
No, she was just calling to start drama. Thank God caller ID was invented shortly after that.
I don't think that's her
I don't think that's her responsibility.
SanAntonioSoccerMom Your
SanAntonioSoccerMom
:jawdrop: Your response is freiken AWESOME! LOL!
So this got me thinking I
So this got me thinking I remember hearing my mom on speaker with my SM as a kid and she would say this is the kids mom may I speak to (us or dad) please. So I just called her and asked her why she chose that way to ask to talk to us that way, her response, "I didn't want to say this is the ex that's just weird, didn't want to use my name it seemed like I would be throwing myself in her face, I was and always will be you guys mom so it just seemed to me the easiest way to ask to speak to you or your dad, didn't really matter she was always nasty about me calling and well you know how those calls went" (SM would stay on the line if we picked up a different phone or go get on another listen in and either tirade about it after or start screaming at us kids, my mom, or my dad all of which I heard cause I'd be on the line downstairs if mom wasn't calling to talk to me)Really kinda glad for cell phones makes it easier that doesn't happen.
Alright, I have two
Alright, I have two things.
Firstly, when BM calls our phone and I feel it necessary to answer it (usually I let it go to VM):
Me: Hello
BM: *silence*.... Uh, Yes, well, I need to speak with my childrens' father.
There are soooo many comebacks, but I just hand the phone to DH or politely say he's not available right now. If he's home, within 30 seconds of hanging up the house phone his cell phone will start ringing (her).
One time on vacation, DH had let BM know that he would NOT have his cell phone with him for the majority of a particular day, as we were going to a waterpark and the phone would be locked up in the guest lockers. When the phone was retrieved from the locker because we were leaving the park, there were almost TWENTY voice messages left by BM. First one started out "I'd like to speak to SKs" and got more and more bat-shit crazy and demanding, with the last one simply being, "I'm calling the cops, you've kidnapped my children."
*whew*
Because of caller-ID I never
Because of caller-ID I never answer the phone when BM calls. If SKids and/or DH are home, I just yell "it's for you". It must be soooo awkward to have to take the call - I would advise you just spare yourself the discomfort. On the very rare occasions that my ex calls (he normally texts), he uses my cell phone only. No way he would ever call the house. Again, it would just be too weird.
HA my "skids" bm did this
HA my "skids" bm did this when she used to call...years ago we stopped answering the phone and had the kids answer, problem solved
BM pulled this when SD was
BM pulled this when SD was living there half of the time. There was this notebook that SD had for homework every day and BM would write a note to the teacher, every day, and always sign it, "SD's mommy" "SD's mamma" "BM, SD's mom." in big letters. Like..get over yourself..everyone knows that you are her mom...and nobody is trying to take that away from you.
BM calls my cell fone to chat
BM calls my cell fone to chat with her son. SS will ask me if he can use my fone before asking his dad if he can use his fone. It started when DH was at work with his fone and SS needed to get a hold of his mom. I'm very comfortable with it too. I push SS to be good to his mom and don't resent anyone but DH for choosing her for a BM. BM and I do not have any issues and feel fortunate for that. I actually think its cute when SS17 sounds like a boy asking to call his mom then smile and hand him the fone.
I dunno... I was taught that
I dunno... I was taught that one always identifies themselves when placing a phone call. Of course, that was before the days of coller ID, but good manners never go out of style. I may have identified myself as "#1 and #2's Mom" when calling, especially in the earlier days of the ex and SM being together. Other times, I used my first name if she answered the phone. If one of her kids answered, I used "#1 and #2's Mom".
I really doubt it's used as a dig.