I need help!!!!
Okay, I need outside opinions.
SD10 has issues with doing her homework. She will bring it to me to check, I mark what is wrong and the problems began.
SD.. But I'm right
Me.. Okay, than why are you asking me to correct it?
SD.. Because I have to.
Me.. Okay well go back and correct the 3 math and 2 matching
An hour later same conversation all over again over the same problems.
And hour after that
SD.. My teacher didn't go over these words I don't know what the opposite of mountain is!!! (4th grade) I only have one word left and that what you said is wrong!! Just tell me what it is!
Me... SD you have only used 19 of 25 words. Look at those words
So she comes back with a word not even on the list.
I told her I'm not helping if she doesn't actually try.
SD.. But I am trying your just not helping me
Me.. Don't talk to me like that. Go to your room and figure them out
SD.. But just give me the answer
Me walking into my room and closing the door.
Repeated all again in an hour but I said nothing other than you have to use a word that is in the box at the top of the page and this math problem is still wrong.
She wouldn't shut her mouth down.
Last night I ended up telling her, it would help you a lot to pay attention in class and realize, I have graduated high school, you are in the fourth grade, I do know how to add.
This lead to her slamming her bedroom door.
6 hours of this she asked again for me to check it and I told her I'm done. No more. I was willing to help you but I not willing to let you continue to treat me like this and still expect me to do this for you. So she wanted to know if I would sign her planner. I told her no. I'm done, not you. I'm not signing stating your homework is done when it isn't. 6 hours is too much. She continued but sign my planner. After me ignoring her repeating herself for 3 minutes I finally raised my voice over hers and said just stop it and go to your room now. She slammed the door again and cried loudly for 10 minutes.
DH is actually torn on whether I should have signed or not. He agrees with me but wonders if it needs to be signed nightly if SD actually does her homework.
Any outside opinions on this???
I would love to but he works
I would love to but he works out of town 3 on 3 off. So he isn't here to check.
Yeah, get DH to help her. If
Yeah, get DH to help her. If it has to be you, get dh to stop her cheek and tell her she needs to show appreciation for your help not smart mouth you. How dare he be "torn" when he agrees with you. He either agrees or he doesn't. If he agrees, the planner doesn't get signed. If he disagrees, he signs the planner, he helps her with her homework, and he signs even if the home works not done. If he thinks that's in the best interest of his child, well, what can anyone say. It's his child, you tried, he doesn't want to. So nothing to be torn about.
If dad can't appreciate you helping her and show it, you can hardly expect her to can you.
And arguing with a child for 6 hours over homework. Not on.
Let me explain. He isn't torn
Let me explain. He isn't torn over me being done. That part he completely understands. He is torn over wether or not the planner needs to be signed.
I give her the benefit of the doubt the first time, but I tend to shit segueing down pretty quickly. Last night for example, her bedroom door (there are two doors into her room) opens right next to the TV, she kept walking in front of the TV and turning around and going back to her room. After 4 times i told her if she comes out of that door again she is going to bed. Her response well I'm going to bed anyway. So I said goodnight, she kept trying to say something, I said goodnight 4 times until she finally stopped and just said goodnight. I went in her room 5 minutes later and told her this is a hard but perfect lesson. She is in bed 30 minutes early because of her mouth, she doesn't have a signed planner because of her mouth. I hope she lays there and thinks about how the night would have Gone if she had controlled her mouth. She has a chance to change tomorrow, and I hope she takes it.
Today is to be determined.
Yes I was clear he was torn
Yes I was clear he was torn over the planner. But I still say. It's either he agrees with you or he disagrees with you. Nothing to be torn about. If he agrees with you as you said, he tells her biomom helps you with your homework, you listen to her, if you don't, and your planner isn't signed, that's the consequence.
If he disagrees, then he signs the planner even if the homework is not done and checked. He sends a note to the school, saying he's not available to sign her planner every night, he will do it weekly.
Nothing to be torn about.
He is torn over why the
He is torn over why the planner is to be signed. I have just left a message with the teacher. He is fine with how I handled it. Said he doesn't expect me to allow this to go on that long. But if the planner is only to say the work is done, we have talked and it could go something like this... SD I'm done with this for tonight to include signing your planner. If you are ready for school on time tomorrow and the attitude is gone, ask me in the morning. If not, than you have to explain to your teacher why it isn't signed.
Her doing it in her room is a
Her doing it in her room is a new thing. We have two tables, my daughter normally does her in her room because she actually does it. My DS is homeschooled and done with the day at the time they start homework. SD was starting at one table, moving to the other and than DS had to stay quite in the room she was in.. We are trying to see what works best for everyone. Last year she wasn't allowed to do it inher room, but it lead to the other two having to put up with her fits. Just trying to see what works
She has RADs so what would be an easy fix with other kids isn't with her.
I'm kinda at a lose for what work for everyone.
Oh, and along the lines of she has RADs, there is very little in her room. She is on a everything is an earned privilege routine right now.
I guess, technically, the
I guess, technically, the homework was done, just not correct. If she insists that she did it right or just wants you to give her the answers instead of doing it right, let her turn it in that way and get a bad grade.
I would not even bother with
I would not even bother with the unappreciative brat! But as you said, you should check with the teacher and find out exactly what the purpose of the signature is- are you saying SD did the homework or are you saying it is correct?
Also, is SD with you full time? I am just wondering why she is there if your DH is out of town so often. Seems like BM should have her on those days, not you. Just curious what your arrangement is.
DH has gaurdenship. BM signed
DH has gaurdenship. BM signed her rights over. SD is technical DHs ex stepdaughters daughter. SDs BM was raised by DH from 3-7 and than he divorced and ex took her kids. He ended up with gaurdenship of exSD from 11-18. Now exSD lost SD to foster at 6months to 18 months. DH had her from 4-5. Than got her back at 6 and told BM that he is not a babysitter it is either permeant or she needed to figure something else out.
Sooo SD10 is really Exstep grand-daughter?!?! I know it is confusing.
Sign the planner after
Sign the planner after putting a note in it: "Little Cindy refused to correct her homework/ complete it"
Then go take her door off the hinges for a week so she can learn NOT to slam it.
Okay, I like the way you
Okay, I like the way you think!!!!
I lost my door for a few
I lost my door for a few weeks as a teenager... considering I am in my 40s and still don't slam doors (ever) one can deduce this punishment leaves a lasting impression LOL
I just cracked up a bit here-
I just cracked up a bit here- I had my Step-Dad take my door off the hinges for 2 weeks and believe me, it was awful but me and my sisters stopped slamming it (and I am 30 and still remember this!)! Also, Maybe the girl can go to a homework club/extra tutoring..something to help her understand her homework, it's not fair to you or her!
She has been kicked out of
She has been kicked out of tutoring. Blah.
Today was better