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Holidays no longer filled with dread because of Steps

Shannon61's picture

Submitted by Shannon61 on Sat, 09/14/2013 - 11:08pm

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Adult Stepchildren

The holidays are approaching in the next couple of months and for many of us with that means at some point, we'll be surrounded by horrid Steps pretending to be something they're not . . kind, loving human beings.

Last year I made a vow that I plan to keep again this year and going forward. I'll only see SD for one holiday . .not both because I don't want to be in that toxic space.

I've learned the importance of guarding my mental state to stay in a place of peace, love and positivity. .everything my SD is not.

Remember to not only guard your mind but also your heart against negativity caused by steps who take delight in diminishing us every chance they get. And also remember the power of karma.

whatamess's picture

Submitted by whatamess on Mon, 09/16/2013 - 9:33am

Last year during the holidays there were no issues about seeing skids for me because they had treated DH like crap as well so neither one of us spent time with them. This year will be different because he is attempting a relationship, at least with SGS, so I'm not sure what the holidays will bring. I'm dreading them. Queen Bee...SD...rules pretty much everything that's done in DH's family and even more so now since she's had SGS. If it weren't for my family of origin holiday celebrations, I would leave town, but I want to spend time with them!! I have no intention of spending any holiday with the Skids. They ruin my holidays and if I'm completely honest, they always have, even when we were all on speaking terms and things were "good". They're a very negative, hateful bunch.

momof5_1969's picture

Submitted by momof5_1969 on Mon, 09/16/2013 - 6:05pm

I agree with this -- holidays are a b***h. Thanksgiving I always spend with my family, and my skids don't like going because they say that they get ignored. haha Sorry -- is that uncomfortable for you? Do you not like being treated like you don't exist? Hmmmmm I don't either! So I've told my DH, I spend every thanksgiving with my family -- he can choose to come or not, I don't care. He usually chooses me. He doesn't like spending time with his kids either. They are a pain in the butt.

I'm already not looking forward to Christmas because of them. I've decided I'm no longer putting myself SO into Christmas, buying all the gifts, etc. for them. I've found gifts that I've picked out for them in the garbage. So I'm done. They can each get $25 a piece. I'll probably buy stuff for my daughter because she DOES appreciate what I do for her, and what I get for her.

The last few holidays (their birthdays) -- I did absolutely NOTHING. I did nothing for SD18's grad party. I've found that no matter what I do, no matter how much I do for them, it makes no difference -- they still hate me -- so WHY try? I'm done. For SS23's b-day and SD24's b-day -- we gave them no money, and I made hand made cards -- downloaded off the internet, so I spent nothing on them. The thing is that my DH doesn't care!

He knows his kids are jerks. He keeps hoping they will change, but he supports me now -- he has seen all the awful things that they have done - - he is finally getting it.